,  JL-^  IWL  iKI#    M.    Jk    1—^  ^^ 


y  *'WAOG 


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http://www.archive.org/details/batteryflashesOOIong 


BATTERY  FLASHES 


BATTERY  FLASHES 


By  ''WAGGER" 


NEW    YORK  : 

E.   P.   DUTTON    AND    COMPANY 

1916 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER   I 

IN    THE    MAKING --  ^ 

CHAPTER   II 

A    NIGHT    ON    GUARD  ..-.----20 

CHAPTER   III 

LONDON   AND   SALISBURY   PLAIN  ------  24 

CHAPTER   IV 

YOUR  KING  AND  COUNTRY  NEED  VOU 33 

CHAPTER   V 

FINISHING   TOUCHES  --------37 

CHAPTER  VI 

AT   THE   FRONT "47 


IN    ACTION 


CHAPTER   VII 

60 


>.  CHAPTER  VIII 

^THE  signallers'   DAY -80 

E9  CHAPTER   IX 

'     'life    in    the   TRENCH  ..------        IO3 

^  CHAPTER   X 

C3«'rest" ^^' 

2  CHAPTER  XI 

A  CRICKET  MATCH  AT  THE  FRONT  -  -  -  -  -  "I'S 

CHAPTER  XII 

THE   REAL   THING ^^9 

CHAPTER   XIII 

LEAVE ^59 

TO  ALL   BETWEEN   THE  AGES   OF    18   AND   35           -           -           "           "  ^7^ 

"  LEAD  O'  THE  GUN  ---------  180 

WOMEN    OF    BRITAIN -"  1^2 


3-16589 


BATTERY  FLASHES 

CHAPTER  I 

IN    THE   MAKING 

Sunday,  August  iph,  19 14. 
Reveille  at  5.30  brought  a  relief  from  a  very 
cold  night — only  one  blanket  between  three  of 
us  in  our  tent  of  eleven  men.  But  to-day  is 
better,  and  we  are  all  very  jolly  and  cheerful.  I 
am  afraid  I  shall  only  have  time  to  send  hasty 
impressions  of  camp  life  as  they  strike  me. 

September  6th,  19 14. 
I  feel  your  letters  are  as  good  as  and  better 
than  a  cheering  crowd  ;  we  being  in  mufti  till 
we  get  to  D.,  will  not  have  any  "  send  off,"  and 
probably  shall  not  even  go  together  to  the 
station.  At  present  I  don't  know  a  soul  in  the 
R.F.A.,  but  there  are  amongst  a  very  mixed  lot 
a  fair  sprinkling  of  very  decent  fellows  and 
gentlemen  ;  I  got  into  it  in  preference  because 
it  has  the  record  of  being  the  best  Territorial 
Regiment  in  B.   for  efficiency  and  smartness. 


2  IN  THE  MAKING 

I  hope  we  shall  keep  up  the  standard,  as  there 
is  a  lot  to  learn  in  gunnery,  horse  management 
being  the  same,  of  course,  as  in  the  Yeomanry. 

We  are  using  the  15-pounder  (shell)  Field 
Artillery  gun,  lighter  than  Royal  Horse  Artil- 
lery, though,  of  course,  ours  is  a  mounted  regi- 
ment ;  but  the  Horse  Artillery  are  not  so  mobile. 
The  guns  are  of  the  type  and  period  of  the  South 
African  War,  but  brought  up  to  date.  I  feel 
it  very  much  not  being  able  to  see  any  of  you 
before  we  move,  as  I  fully  expect  we  shall  go 
to-morrow;  180  are  going  to-morrow  and  the 
rest  later  to  D.  As  soon  as  I  am  posted  to  a 
battery  I  will  let  you  know  my  address  and  the 
method  of  addressing.  I  have  now  all  my  kit 
complete,  even  to  the  vaseline  and  socks. 
We  had  a  church  parade  this  morning  in  the 
barrack  grounds.  Canon  A.,  chaplain  to  the 
Brigade,  took  the  service  and  gave  a  very 
interesting  address.  I  would  write  to  all  in 
answer  to  letters  if  there  were  time,  but  this  is 
the  first  day  I  have  had  between  the  hours  of 
9  a.m.  and  10  p.m.  to  arrange  business  matters, 
etc.,  with  H.,  and  there  is  much  to  settle,  and 
much  that  I  must  perforce  leave  unsettled. 

My  name  will  be  added  to  the  church  list,  I 
suppose,  next  Sunday. 

All  of  us  are  to  go  abroad  as  soon  as  trained, 
we  believe,  as  we  all  signed  on  for  foreign  service. 


LUXURIES !  3 

Friday,  September  lyth,  19 14. 

About  10  a.m.  the  end  tent  of  each  battery- 
is  like  a  P.O.  clearing  house,  being  stocked  with 
parcels  and  letters.  Some  kind  friends  in  P. 
(five  miles  away)  sent  me  some  Cornish  pasties 
and  apple  turnovers  yesterday,  which  were  much 
appreciated  in  the  tent.  So  after  6.30  yesterday 
I  got  leave  till  9.30  and  went  in  and  saw  them  and 
had  a  look  round  the  Hoe,  and  "  saw  the  Sound." 
As  yet  we  are  still  without  uniforms  and  likely 
to  be  for  rather  more  than  the  greater  part  of 
some  time,  though  yesterday  we  had  blankets 
and  the  great  luxury  of  a  straw  palliasse  issued, 
and  I  had  my  first  good  night.  We  expect  to 
go  to  either  South  Africa  or  Egypt  in  a  few  weeks, 
but  shall  probably  (and  I  hope)  get  three  days' 
leave  for  seeing  friends  before  we  go. 

Now  I  will  try  and  give  you  some  idea  of  our 
life  and  duties.  First,  our  R.F.A.  consists  of 
three  batteries  of  four  guns  each  (not  six  gun 
batteries)  and  ammunition  column. 

No.  I  Battery  4  guns,  131  horses  and  145  men. 
No.  2  Battery  4  guns,  131  horses  and  145  men. 
No.  3  Battery  4  guns,  131  horses  and  145  men. 

435 
Ammunition    column,     thirty-six     ammunition 


4  IN  THE  MAKING 

wagons  with  four-horse  teams  and  other  forage, 
supply  and  Red  Cross  wagon  and  second  line 
transport  wagons  and  about  200  men.  These  have 
been  expanded  now  in  total  to  about  800  or  900 
men  and  officers  and  700  or  so  horses.  Though 
all  men  have  to  ride,  the  drivers,  signallers, 
observers,  non-com.  officers  and  officers  ride  on 
horseback  on  the  march,  the  gunners  ride  on 
the  gun  limbers,  battery  wagons  and  ammuni- 
tion wagons.  I  am  now  training  for  signaller 
as  well  as  gunner,  so  shall  have  a  horse  to  myself 
and  more  responsible  position  with  chance  of 
getting  first  stripe  (bombardier).  Our  guns  are 
heavy  i8-pounders  and  one  howitzer  drawn  by 
six  horses  each,  the  three  rear  horses  ridden  by 
drivers  (the  Royal  Horse  Artillery  are  light  guns, 
13-pounders,  and  move  everywhere  in  action  at 
the  gallop).  Our  range  is  6,000  yards  extreme 
and  5,400  effective,  shrapnel  being  used,  except 
against  cavalry  who  are  in  close  range,  400 
yards,  when  case  shot  is  blazed  at  them  as  hard 
as  possible  (case  shot  is  tin  filled  with  bullets, 
etc.,  which  spread  quickly,  the  shell  bursting 
at  once),  whereas  shrapnel  is  timed  either  to 
burst  when  it  touches  a  given  object  (the  ground) 
or  after  so  many  seconds,  so  as  to  burst  thirty 
feet  in  the  air  over  the  heads  of  advancing  enemy. 
Our  business  is  to  smash  up  opposing  batteries 
of  guns  and  also  to  fire  over  the  heads  of  our  own 


THE  BATTERY  STAFF  5 

advancing  infantry  so  as  to  cover  their  approach 
up  to  within  the  last  few  hundreds  yards,  when 
they  have  to  fix  bayonets  and  rush  the  position, 
R.F.A.  following  up  and  shelling  the  retreating 
enemy.  We  carry  no  arms,  and  once  cavalry 
get  up  to  us  the  only  thing  to  be  done  is  to  get 
amongst  the  wheels,  and  "  even  there  they  get 
you,"  as  Sergeant-Major  cheerily  says. 

Each  battery,  however,  has  thirty-six  rifles 
for  the  purpose  of  mounting  its  own  guards 
and  pickets,  etc.,  and  sometimes  under  certain 
conditions  they  are  allowed  more  and  take  them 
into  action. 

The  staff  of  a  battery  is  : 

One  battery  commander,  major  or  captain. 

Three  or  four  lieutenants. 

Two  sergeant-majors. 

One^uartermaster-sergeant. 

Four  sergeants  (in  command  of  each  gun). 

Nine  men  to  each  gun. 

Signallers. 

Observers. 

Trumpeters. 

Drivers. 

Spare  men  and  spare  sergeants. 

Ammunition  column  men. 

The  gun-laying  is  very  complicated,  what  with 
telescopes,  reflectors,  angles  of  sight  and  spirit 


6  IN  THE  MAKING 

levels,  all  to  be  adjusted  if  the  object  is  in  view ; 
if  the  object  is  hidden  by  mist  or  hills,  indirect 
laying  has  to  be  done  by  aiming  so  many  degrees 
right,  left,  forward  or  behind  of  some  given 
object  within  view.  There  you  are,  and  now 
you  all  know  almost  as  much  of  gunnery  as  I  do. 
The  next  thing  is  our  day  : 

5  or  sometimes  5.30.     Reveille. 

6  a.m.      Parade    and    roll-call  by  sub-sections 

(of  which  there  are  four  to  each 
battery  for  stables).  (Stables  means 
watering,  feeding,  grooming  if  wet, 
hand-slapping  and  exercising  horses.) 

7 — 7.30.  Laying  down  (putting  hay  for  horses) 
and  cleaning  lines. 

7.30 — 8.15.  Breakfast,  consisting  of  one-sixth 
of  loaf  of  bread  and  one  and  a  half 
ounces  of  jam.  Nothing  else.  (We 
get  one  pound  or  half  of  loaf  of 
bread  per  day,  to  be  divided  into 
the  only  three  meals  we  get,  break- 
fast, dinner,   and  late  tea.) 

8.15.  Parade  for  gun  drill  or  boot  and  saddle 
for  going  on  the  moors  with  the  guns, 
or  foot  drill,  rifle  drill,  etc. 

11.30.       Stables  as  before  and  signalling. 

I — 2.  Dinner.  Consisting  of  another  one-sixth 
of  bread  and  a  tin  of  broth  with  meat  in. 


STATE  OF  HORSE  LINES  7 

2 — 2.15.  Ceremonial    parade,  followed    by   gun 
drill  and  other  drills  till  3.30,  when 
stables  again  and  harness  cleaning, 
gun-carriage  cleaning,  etc. 
5.15.         Dismiss,  and  tea,  consisting  of  the  last 
one-sixth  of  bread  and  two  ounces 
of  jam. 
No  supper  is  provided.     First  post  9.30,  last 
post  10,  lights  out  10.15.      ^^  g^t  ^^If  ^  P^^t 
of   tea  for  "brekker"  and  half  a  pint  for  tea. 
Verily,  simple  fare,  known  as  the  rations. 

Of  course  day  and  night  guards  and  pickets 
have  to  be  set,  and  there  are  various  fatigue 
duties,  though  we  find  the  ordinary  round 
quite  fatiguing  enough.  This  incessant  rain 
has  made  it  very  cold  and  miserable  and  doubled 
the  work,  as  the  horse  lines  get  inches  deep  in 
mud,  several  horses  being  on  the  sick  list  with 
cracked  heels  and  kicks  from  other  horses.  We 
ourselves  have  been  very  lucky :  only  about  ten 
cases  of  men  kicked  and  only  three  of  those 
badly,  one  in  the  stomach,  and  it  is  feared  he 
will  not  live ;  he  is  in  Plymouth  hospital,  one  of 
the  original  Territorials,  not,  of  course,  a  foreign 
service  one;  he  was  only  a  lad  of  17,  poor  little 
chap.  The  other  home  service  ones,  about  300, 
whom  we  call  non-conformists,  are  to  return  to 
B.  shortly,  to  guard  the  old  and  venerable  town 
from  danger.     To-night  I  am  off  to  Plymouth 


8  IN  THE  MAKING 

to  dine  with  Mr.  D.,  to  my  shame  in  my  filthy 
clothes,  and  am  now,  6.30,  finishing  this  in 
Plymouth  G.P.O.  He  very  kindly  called  on 
me  this  afternoon,  and  other  kind  friends  in 
Plymouth  have  been  awfully  good  in  sending 
Cornish  pasties,  etc.  I  am  to  be,  I  think,  a 
battery  staff  signaller,  as  I  have  got  on  with  that 
all  right,  and  shall  consequently  be  an  outrider 
with  a  horse  to  myself,  but  time  will  show.  We 
are  a  very  jolly  lot  and  chaff  one  another  about 
the  various  little  "  hindrances  we  meet "  (as  the 
hymn  says)  ;  it  is  chilly  work,  for  instance, 
stripping  to  the  waist  at  5  a.m.  in  pouring  rain 
and  washing  at  the  ablution  benches  under  a 
trickle  of  water  from  the  taps  ;  there  is  no 
bathing  near. 

September  iSth,  1914. 

I  much  enjoyed  a  bath  at  Plymouth  last  week. 
The  pears  were  perfect,  and  I  should  think  the 
peaches  will  be  ripe  in  about  two  days.  The 
plums  and  apples  I  have  "  whacked  "  round  with 
the  others,  three  of  us  being  pretty  well  suppHed 
with  food  parcels,  while  the  others  get  nothing, 
so  that  "one"  feels  "one"  can't  gloat  over 
delicacies  when  "  two "  (and  for  that  matter 
three  and  four  and  several  others)  are  splashing 
away  in  their  tins  of  greasy  broth,  trying  to 
separate  the  case-hardened  tissues  we  term  meat 


BOOTS  AS   STORE  CUPBOARDS  9 

from  the  gristle  and  fat,  of  which  latter  Army 
Service  Corps  bullocks  seem  to  be  chiefly  com- 
posed. H.  also  has  sent  me  a  weekly  parcel, 
including  malt  wheat  bread,  and  sardines,  so 
that  my  meals  lately  have  appeared  to  the 
others  as  a  sort  of  glorified  table  d'hote.  If 
many  recruits  are  being  so  generously  treated  no 
wonder  Kitchener's  Army  is  increasing  in  size. 

For  the  first  time  in  my  life  I  have  blessed  the 
fact  of  my  having  "  a  good  grip  of  the  ground  " 
— or  big  feet  ;  if  it  were  not  for  the  colossal  size 
of  my  boots  I  don't  know  what  I  should  do  for 
a  store  cupboard.  My  two  military  pairs  are 
the  latter,  and  while  this  fine  weather  lasts  I 
am  wearing  out  an  old  pair  of  my  own. 

No.  I  boot,  black,  left  foot  is  stored  with  choco- 
late and  a  candle  and  also  holds  my 
belt  by  night. 

No.  2,  its  right  fellow,  is  a  "  fellow  of  the  baser 
sort,"  and  is  given  up  to  three  tins  of 
black  dubbin  and  two  brushes  for  same. 

No.  3  boot,  brown,  has  a  box  of  matches,  devo- 
tional books  and  a  manual  of  Field 
Artillery  training. 

No.  4,  its  fellow,  has  H.'s  invaluable  electric 
flash-lamp,  a  brown  rag  and  brown 
dubbin,  and  room  for  any  fruit  in 
course  of  consumption. 


10  IN  THE  MAKING 

My  whole  toilet  outfit,  including  a  glass  the 
size  of  a  5s.  piece,  is  contained  in  a  Rowntree's 
clear  gums  tin  ;  bless  Rowntree's  clear  gums, 
may  they  never  grow  dim^  or  have  neuralgia. 

We  always  have  to  sleep  in  our  clothes.  It  saves 
time  going  to  bed  and  getting  up,  and  H.  will 
tell  you  I  am  an  awful  dawdle,  and  with  twelve 
in  a  tent  there  would  not  be  much  room  in  which 
to  flourish  one's  garments,  and  the  supply  of 
ottomans  (or  is  it  ottomania  ?)  whereon  to  lay 
them  is  limited.  My  bed  drill  on  cold  nights 
is  as  follows  :  On  the  order  "  one,"  take  the 
woollen  night-cap  smartly  with  both  hands  and 
place  on  the  head,  at  "  two  "  cut  away  the  hands 
smartly  to  the  sides  and  prepare  for  leg  drill. 
Leg  drill,  on  the  word  "  one,"  lower  the  left 
and  right  hand  to  the  boots,  drawing  them  off 
sharply  on  the  order  "  two,"  "  three"  come  back 
to  the  "  recline."  Give  a  slight  "  cant "  to  the 
bedsocks,  catching  them  lightly  in  the  right 
hand,  and  drawing  them  on  with  a  smart  forward 
movement.  Cut  away  both  hands  smartly  to 
the  sides  and  give  forty  winks  in  quick  time, 
waking  up  at  reveille  and  reversing  the  move- 
ments in  double  quick  time.  There  you  are, 
that  is  how  a  "  Tommy  "  goes  to  bed.  He  even 
writes  "  by  numbers,"  and  I  see  I  have  num- 
bered four  pages,  so  will  close  up  now. 


IRREGULAR  PAY  ii 

Tent,  October. 

We  all  feel  rather  sore  that  K.'s  army  is  being 
better  equipped  than  our  own.  We  have  no 
uniform  yet,  and  we  were  told  we  should  be  out- 
fitted directly  on  arrival  and  therefore  not  to 
take  anything  but  old  things  ;  consequently  we 
have  no  change  of  clothes  and  are  still  in  thin 
summer  flannels,  and  frequently  get  wet  through 
and  have  to  let  them  dry  on  our  bodies.  This 
is  not  grousing  but  just  airing  facts  of  very  poor 
management.  Either  our  officers  are  hopelessly 
incompetent  as  regards  organization,  or  else 
the  County  Association  ;  it  lies  between  them. 
Thanks  awfully  for  your  offer  of  a  rug.  I  should  be 
most  grateful  for  one,  specially  if  small  enough  to 
fit  in  top  of  kit  bag.  I  am  writing  a  letter  round 
to-day  of  our  duties,  etc.,  which  I  hope  will 
interest  you  when  it  arrives.  Another  thing  is 
that  we  have  only  had  los.  pay  advanced  out  of 
nearly  35s.  due  ;  they  don't  pay  regularly  at  all, 
and  we  are  not  to  get  any  this  Friday,  but  to  get 
another  advance  next  Friday. 

I  should  be  glad  to  feel  the  War  Office  authori- 
ties and  A.S.C.  big  pots,  also  the  Government 
M.P.'s  and  officials,  were  receiving  only  one- 
quarter  of  what  was  due  to  them  and  an  indefinite 
promise  of  a  little  more  to  be  advanced  in  a  few 
days.  The  R.F.A.'s,  other  than  the  newly- 
arrived  recruits,  have  almost  been  in  a  state  of 

B 


12  IN  THE  MAKING 

mutiny,  as  we  have  a  beast  of  a  Colonel,  and  they 
have  been  at  meal-times  shouting  in  chorus,  to 
tune  of  "  Holy,  holy,  holy,"  the  song  I  detail  over: 

"Starving,  starving,  starving,  always   b 

well  starving. 
From  reveille    to    lights    out  we're  always 

b starving. 

Starving,  starving,  starving,  always  b 

well  starving. 
We  shall  be  glad  when  our  time's  up,  we'll 

starve  no  b more." 

These  fellows,  I  may  say,  are  those  who  have  not 
volunteered  for  foreign  service.  The  Colonel, 
in  addressing  them,  before  we  came,  said  that 
"  they  might  think  of  their  wives  and  children ; 

but  d your  wives  and  d your  children, 

if  you  put  them  before  your  country,  you  deserve 
to  be  called  '  cowards.'  "  This  upset  them,  and  a 
lot  refused  to  volunteer  who  might  have  done. 
Bugle. 

November,  I9i4' 
We  are  now  very  busy  mastering  the  Morse 
system  on  the  field  telephone  "  buzzer,"  as 
semaphore  and  Morse  by  flags  are  only  to  be 
used  when  the  telephone  wires  get  put  out  of 
action — owing  to  the  exposed  position  you  have 
to  take  for  flag-wagging. 


PICKET  DUTY  IN  THE  DARK  13 

Last  night  I  was  on  picket  on  the  horse  lines 
again.  It  comes  round  oftener  now.  Rain,  high 
wind  and  cold  each  in  superlative  degree  made 
it  the  most  miserable  night  we  have  yet  spent, 
and  without  wishing  the  horses  any  serious  harm 
we  wished  they  would  all  drop  down  dead  to  save 
further  trouble.  Twice  the  ground  ropes  burst 
on  which  thirty  horses  were  strung ;  luckily 
the  rain  was  beating  down  so  hard  they  were  too 
miserable  to  stampede,  but  it  was  an  hour's  job 
in  the  pitchy  blackness  untying  the  wet  knots  and 
releasing  the  horses  from  the  rope,  tying  them  up 
again  to  guns  and  wagons,  splicing  the  rope  and 
once  more  re-tethering  with  our  hands  as  numb 
as  stones  ;  truly  we  have  our  little  excitements. 
One  or  two  tried  to  bite  and  kick,  but  on  picket  you 
don't  feel  like  a  merciful  man  who  is  merciful 
to  his  beast,  and  they  got  badly  tickled  up  for 
their  trouble.  Two  funny  things  happened,  or 
rather  three.  Firstly,  the  inspecting  officer  lost 
his  way,  after  I  challenged  him  and  turned  out 
the  picket  from  their  tent  for  inspection,  and 
walked  into  the  horses,  whereout  or  whence  from 
I  had  to  lead  him  round  to  the  poor  sleepy  beggars 
standing  in  the  rain  waiting  to  be  inspected. 
Those,  of  course,  already  on  duty — like  myself — 
remain  walking  up  and  down  the  horse  lines. 
The  second  funny  thing  was  that  I  challenged 
one  of  the  guards,  having  wandered  a  few  yards 


14  IN  THE  MAKING 

out  of  my  way  from  the  horses  into  the  gun  park, 
where  there  is  a  guard  on  duty  ;  and  thirdly, 
a  little  later  the  guard  reversed  my  mistake  and 
challenged  me  in  the  horse  lines.  There  is  no 
"  Pass,  friend,  all's  well,"  given  now  after  dark  \ 
it  is  "  Advance,  friend,  and  be  recognized."  The 
whole  night  long  a  searchlight  was  stabbing 
the  sky  from  C,  which  made  one  feel  that  the 
nation  is  really  always  awake  and  on  guard  day 
and  night,  and  that  nothing  can  come  by  sea 
air,  or  land,  unchallenged.  Woe  betide  an  enemy 
on  a  wet  night,  when  all  guards  are  very  cross  !  !  ! 
So  all  at  such  vulnerable  points  as  T.  and  E. 
may  rest  in  bed  secure  in  the  thought  that  any 
invasion  cannot  come  before  we  are  aware  of  it. 
We  are  in  trouble  again  in  the  signalling  depart- 
ment, orders  having  come  through  that  we  are 
to  learn  lamp,  helio  and  wireless,  as  well  as 
the  semaphore  and  field  telephone  buzzer,  and 
for  the  former  we  shall  have  night  parades. 
Help  !  !  Once  in  the  fighting  line,  however, 
signallers  will  get  3d.  a  day  extra. 

We  are  still  floundering  around  amongst  con- 
tradictory orders  and  rumours,  amongst  which 
runs  the  bedrock  official  order  to  move  to  France 
December  6th.  The  others  are  as  follows:  600 
drill  khaki  suits  ordered  for  service  in  Egypt  and 
helmets.  A  like  number  of  cardigans  actually 
on  order  for  cold  weather  in  France.     New  guns 


RUMOURS  15 

coming  to  strengthen  the  R.F.A.  in  India.  Move 
ordered  to  the  new  trenches  in  England  to  repel 
the  invader.  And  so  it  goes  on.  Truly,  all 
men  are  liars — and  expert  official  ones — in  war 
time.  Only  two  salient  facts  remain  certain 
and  incontrovertible  : 

(i)  There  is  a  war  on  somewhere,  but  no 
one  knows  exactly  where. 

(2)  A  force  estimated  at  between  20,000 
and  15,000  Russians  in  khaki  passed 
through  England  on  a  Sunday  night  in 
August  on  the  way  to  the  left  wing  of  that 
war  if  there  is  a  left  wing. 

A  third  unimportant  fact  may  be  added  which 
goes  to  prove  the  first  :  i.e.,  I've  joined  some 
khaki  affair  and  therefore  there  must  be  a  war, 
or  I  shouldn't  find  myself  in  such  an  uncomfort- 
ably wet  position. 

November  Sth,  19 14. 

We  have  been  doing  double  duty  in  the  day 
and  more  frequent  guards,  etc.,  during  the  night, 

as  half  our  men  are  away  at  (I  mustn't 

say  where)  digging  gun  emplacements  and 
trenches  in  case  of  invasion,  which  (the  invasion) 
is  very  improbable,  and  which  (the  trenches) 
in  that  case  we  should  occupy  until  the  invaders 


i6  IN  THE  MAKING 

were  wiped  out,  before  going  abroad.  The  line 
of  trenches  when  these  are  completed  a  few  miles 
away,  will  stretch  from  a  point  covering  London 
to  beyond  Lincoln,  and  I  fancy  Yorkshire  has 
a  similar  line  altogether  some  300  miles  long — 
"  some  trench,"  as  the  Americans  would  say. 
Our  Divisional  Brigade,  unless  Germany  has  the 
cheek  to  invade  us,  begins  to  move  on  November 
30th,  and  the  last  lot  will  have  left  by  December 

8th  for on  the in  the  S.  of  not 

many  miles  from where  we  hope,  together 

with  the ths s  and  the nd  and rd 

s,  covered  by  the Lancers,  to  advance 

on and  finally  arrive  at ,  to  which  please 

address  all  letters  {vide  Press)  ! 

I  forgot  to  say  that  General ,  late  of  the 

th s,  will  command,  and  now  you  know 

as  much  officially  as  we  do  ourselves,  except  that 
only  600  of  us  are  to  go  ;    the  rest  remain  as  a 

reserve  battery  in  I  mean  England,  to  be 

brigaded  with  the  War'^-  Artillery  !  I  am  glad 
to  say  I  am  pretty  sure  of  being  one  of  the  600, 
and  have  often  wanted  to  visit  France.  I  am 
glad  I  waited  to  go  via  "  Government"  instead 
of  "  Cook's,"  as  the  former  is  so  much  cheaper, 
though  perhaps  the  accommodation  and  hotels 
are  not  quite  so  good.  I  was  on  guard  the  other 
nio-ht  on  the  wettest  night  it  has  ever  been  my 
lot  to  see.     Not  only  did  it  rain  '"eavens  'ard," 


CHANGING  GUARD  17 

it  rained  "'eavens'  'ardest"  from  the  time  we 
presented  arms  to  the  old  guard  at  6  p.m.  till 
4  a.m.  next  morning.  The  changing  guard  is  a 
quaint  ceremony.  The  two  "  guards,"  now  nine 
men  and  a  bombardier  in  charge,  stand  facing 
one  another  at  two  yards'  interval,  and  the 
bombardiers  in  charge  give  the  following  orders 
in  turn  : 

"  Old  guard,  slope — arms." 

"  New  guard,  slope — arms." 

"  Old  guard,  present — arms." 

"  New  guard,  present — arms." 

"  Old  guard,  slope — arms." 

"  New  guard,  slope — arms." 

"  Old  guard,  dis — miss." 

*'  New  guard,  order — arms — to  your  duties." 

Poor  beggars,  the  new  guard  !  On  this  particu- 
lar night  one  of  our  men  was  shot  dead  while 
guarding  the  Marconi  wireless  station.  He  and 
the  spy  shot  at  one  another  together ;  but,  worse 
luck,  the  German,  if  it  was  one,  got  his  in  first. 
We  are  now  mounting  guard  with  magazine 
half  full  at  night,  viz.  five  cartridges,  and  will 
only  give  one  challenge. 

8.30.  Just  at  a  hotel  in  C,  after  going  to  the 
newly  called  cathedral.  The  windows  all  shrouded 
with  huge  blue  curtains  and  the  whole  town  in 
darkness.     They  are  very  careful  here ;  all  trains 


i8  IN  THE   MAKING 

in  and  out  of  London  have  the  blinds  down  on 
the  E.  coast  side.  To-day  a  biplane  sailed  over 
us — one  of  our  own,  of  course. 

November  28th,  1914. 
We  are  using  the  new  short  rifle  for  our  guards, 
etc.  We  have  just  done  thirty-six  hours'  con- 
tinuous duty,  with  only  four  hours'  sleep,  and  most 
of  it  in  the  rain,  getting  literally  wet  to  the  skin ; 
but  the  open  air  and  work  seems  to  keep  you  from 
catching  cold,  and  it  is  jolly  fun.  We  had  a  field 
day  with  aeroplanes,  and  took  up  a  position 
previously  fortified  defending  London  on  the 
Billericay  road ;  and  at  6  p.m.  got  home  and  went 
on  straight  to  digging  winding  trenches  and  gun 
emplacements  here  in  the  dark,  as  all  such  work 
has  now  to  be  done  in  the  dark  by  order.  It  is 
great  fun  getting  the  measurements  and  straight 
edges,  which  have  to  be  exact.  We  got  four 
hours'  sleep,  and  then  at  6  a.m.  again  started  the 
next  day's  work,  all  pretty  "woolly"  and  tired  ; 
but  we  are  enjoying  the  life,  and  only  fear  we 
sha'n't  be  wanted  abroad  now  till  after  Christmas, 
as  they  fear  a  raid  on  England,  and  we  are  holding 
back  for  that. 

December  8th,  19 14. 
We  are  here,  worse  luck,  as  long  as  Christmas, 
we  expect,  unless  anything  happens  on  the  coast, 


READY  TO  GO  19 

as  both  Allies  and  enemy  seem  to  be  going  to 
"  stand  fast "  for  the  winter  ;  but  we  have  been 
prepared  to  move  off  at  two  hours'  notice  for  three 
weeks  or  more  now.  Nothing  much  exciting 
happens  beyond  our  joint  work  with  aircraft, 
who  assist  us  in  ranging,  etc.  ;  also  we  have  an 
anti-aircraft  gun,  but  we  are  now  forbidden  to  say 
anything  definite  of  our  doings,  "or  the  disposi- 
tion, condition  or  movements  of  His  Majesty's 
Forces,"  a  notice  which  had  to  be  read  out  daily 
for  a  week  on  parade. 

So  if  you  get  letters  from  any  other  place  don't 
be  surprised.  Anyone  who  writes  can  always 
address  to  the  last  known  address,  as  our  letters 
always  follow  us. 


CHAPTER  II 

A    NIGHT   ON    GUARD 

Rain,  rain,  and  wind,  and  yet  more  rain.  Water 
lying  in  large  sheets  all  over  the  horse  lines  two 
inches  deep,  alternated  with  mud  banks,  where 
the  feet  slip  in  over  the  ankles.  Rain  running 
down  the  rifle,  and  trickling  along  the  forearm  ; 
rain  trickling  from  your  cap  down  your  neck  and 
spine  ;  rain  sopping  through  your  overcoat,  tunic, 
and  shirt,  till  your  body  is  a  wet  pack  ;  rain 
swishing  off  the  trees  in  broad  sheets,  and  then — 
the  irony  of  it — a  sharp  voice  breaks  in  through 
the  everlasting  swish  and  slush  of  water — 
"  Guard  at  the  water  trough,  is  all  well  ?  " 

You  advance  swampily  into  the  dark  impene- 
trable wall  of  night,  and  answer,  perhaps  with  an 
inward  sardonic  laugh,  "All's  well."  Silence 
again,  broken  only  by  the  eternal  swishing  sound. 
Would  that  a  German  would  only  come  and  try 
to  poison  the  water  !  It  would  be  a  welcome 
relief  to  challenge  and  shoot  at  something, 
and  hear  the  tinkle  of  glass  as  his  spectacles 
caved  in  ! 


"WATER,   WATER  EVERYWHERE"        21 

7  a.m.  dawns,  or  rather  doesn't  dawn ; 
it  is  dark  still,  but  "fall  in"  and  "stables" 
have  sounded.  It  is  a  queer  sight,  men  bending 
over  the  horse  lines  and  undoing  ropes  two  inches 
under  water,  with  knots  tightened  by  rain,  and 
the  tugging  horses,  and  yet  queerer  still — 
although  there  is  much  said  jocularly  of  the 
weather,  such  as  "  blowing  up  for  rain,"  or 
"  shouldn't  wonder  if  we  don't  get  some  rain,  it 
looks  cloudy,"  after  twenty-four-hours-at-once 
solid  and  liquid  rain — there  is  more  cheerfulness 
and  jollity  among  the  men  than  when  it  is  fine  and 
all  are  grousing  at  being  still  in  England.  Out 
of  the  darkness  you  can  hear  many  whistling, 
and  one  cheerful  idiot  breaks  into  "  Good-bye 
summer,  good-bye,  good-bye"  in  falsetto,  thereby 
causing  his  horse  to  buck  with  astonishment. 
The  only  miserable  beings  are  the  horses.  There 
they  stand  pegged  to  earth,  heads  down  in  abject 
despondency,  only  waking  to  life  and  softly 
whinnying  when  they  hear  the  order,  "  Stand 
to  your  nose-bags."  The  long  drawn  out 
"  F-e-e-e-d"  which  follows  starts  them  dancing 
up  and  down  till  you  are  splashed  from  head  to 
foot  with  fluid  mud  ;  and  still  it  rains.  One  man 
alone  is  heartily  anathematized  by  all,  viz., 
the  "  Quarter-bloke,"  as  he  is  off-handedly 
termed  (his  full  title  being  Quartermaster-Ser- 
geant-Major).    He  is  the  object  of  everyone's 


22  A  NIGHT  ON  GUARD 

abuse,  because  none  have  a  change  of  uniform, 
boots,  or  puttees  to  put  on  when  wet,  though  all 
are  perfectly  aware  that  the  "  Quarter-bloke" 
can't  issue  them  if  the  A.S.C.  are  unable  to 
obtain  them  for  him. 

Still,  you  must  have  a  scapegoat  in  the  Army 
for  every  inconvenience,  and  the  "  Quarter- 
bloke's  "  back  is  broad  and  will  bear  much.  But 
this  is  a  digression  {vide  lady  novelists),  and  the 
real  point  of  what  I  was  writing  is  that  it  is  still 
raining,  and  dawn  has  at  last  broken — presum- 
ably dawn  was  full  of  water  before  it  broke.  I 
know  now  what  one  David,  the  late  illustrious 
Psalmist,  meant  by  the  "  sound  of  the  water 
pipes."  He  must  have  "  done  a  guard  "  when 
it  was  raining  "'eavens'  'ard." 

7  a.m.  Up  to  the  time  of  going  to  press  it 
is  raining,  though  not  quite  '"eavens 'ard,"  and 
one  or  two  thin  and  weak  sunbeams  are  struggling 
through  the  over-developed  (and  very  much 
"over-exposed")  sky,  making  the  trees  form  a 
lovely  picture  in  black  and  silver,  each  twig  and 
branch  being  black  below  with  a  line  of  silver 
light  on  its  upper  side.  But  this  is  drivelling, 
and  I  shall  shortly  become  as  empty  and  un- 
interesting a  writer  as  a  war  correspondent, 
whose  accounts  seem  in  ninety-nine  cases  out  of 
a  hundred  the  result  of  treating  an  imaginative 
liar  at  the  base  camp  to  a  beer  or  two,  and  in  the 


THE  FINAL  ACCOUNT  23 

one  remaining  case  the  final  account  (repre- 
senting a  vast  amount  of  arithmetic  in  "  addi- 
tion "  and  "multiplication"),  after  passing 
through  the  "  hearsay  "  of  scores  of  other  men. 


CHAPTER  III 

LONDON    AND    SALISBURY    PLAIN 

January  1st,  191 5. 
Last  Saturday  I  gave  myself  an  afternoon  and 
evening  holiday  with  some  congenial  souls — in 
London.  And  what  a  delight  it  was  to  get  into 
life  once  more,  to  go  to  a  theatre  and  sit  in  a 
decent  seat  amongst  ladies  and  gentlemen  in 
evening  dress  and  imagine  I  had  mine  on  too  ! 
I  wondered  what  horror  would  have  been  depicted 
on  their  faces  had  they  seen  us  a  few  hours 
before,  or  better  still  a  few  hours  after  on  "  The 
Plain,"  legs,  boots,  and  overcoat  indistinguish- 
able in  mud,  splashes  of  mud  on  faces,  hands 
and  hats,  and  generally  very  dishevelled-looking 
and  dirty.  I  wonder  if  any  of  them  we  saw  that 
night  happened  by  chance  to  be  motoring  on 
Salisbury  Plain  three  days  afterwards  and  saw  a 
lot  of  revoltingly  dirty  Tommies ;  if  so  I  should 
have  loved  to  call  out,  "  Hi,  I  sat  next  to  you 
in  the  orchestra  stalls  at  the  Aldwych  on  Satur- 
day night."     Tableau  vivant  in  expressions. 

One  seems  to  live  two  lives  :  one  that  of  a 
flounderer  in  mud  and  rain  with  the  ever-present 

24 


LONDON  IN  WAR  TIME  25 

aroma  of  horse  "  temporarily-attached"  ;  the 
other,  occasional  squirmings  out  of  the  mud  Hke 
a  worm  on  to  the  green  grass  of  life  again,  when 
self-respect  asserts  itself  with  a  feeling  of  Fm-as- 
good-as-you-and-be-blowed-to-you  sort  of  feehng 
when  you  see  a  clean  collar  and  white  spats. 

Step  into  the  train  again  at ,  and  gradually 

the  old    feeling    comes   on  until    on    tramping 

to it   is   quite  a  pleasure  to  feel  a  soldier 

again.  And  after  all  you  cannot  get  far  away  from 
the  soldier  in  London.  In  the  daytime  your 
hand  aches  with  saluting  officers,  and  at  night 
khaki  is  sprinkled  pretty  freely  over  the  theatres 
and  foodmongers'  and  drinkwrights'  establish- 
ments, to  remind  you  of  the  steel  and  khaki  ring 
which  encloses  London,  with  its  radius  of  thirty 
miles  and  circumference  of — well,  work  it  out 
yourselves  (3.14  by  30^)  !  It  looks  strange  to 
see  peaceful Park  with  a  huge  gun  emplace- 
ment thirty  feet  high  in  the  middle  of  it,  and  with 
a  grey  anti-aircraft  gun  craning  its  neck  up  at  the 
skies  therefrom,  and  at  night  time  from  the  same 

place,  and  from  the  top  of  the gates  and  other 

points,  moving  shafts  of  light  keep  stabbing 
the  darkness  in  all  directions,  watching  over 
the  seven  millions  who  grope  in  semi-obscurity 
beneath,  cursing — with  the  quick  forgetfulness 
and  wholly  self-centred  priggishriess  of  the  British 
man-in-the-street — the  War  Office  that  restricts 


26         LONDON  AND  SALISBURY  PLAIN 

the  lighting  and  illumination  of  shop  windows. 
I'd  love  to  take  such  a  man  for  a  midnight  tramp 
on  Salisbury  Plain,  where  you  positively  push 
against  the  darkness,  and  certainly  stub  your 
toes  on  a  hillock  or  jar  your  knees  in  a  hole  sixty 
times  to  the  hour.  Now  about  Salisbury  Plain 
itself  ;  but  you  must  understand  that  anything 
I  say  of  its  mud  is  not  exaggerated  at  all — it  is 
impossible    to    put    into    words    any   believable 

description  of  it.     We  detrained  at  ,  

miles  from  Stonehenge,  and  had  a  five  mile  march 

to ,  along  roads  which  were  flowing,  eddying 

streams  of  mud  of  a  pea  soup  consistency  for 
fully  a  mile,  deeper  than  the  tops  of  our  boots, 
through  which  endless  mud-clogged  transports 
slashed  their  way  slowly,  but  fast  enough  to 
reduce  us  to  living  replicas  of  the  road  itself  ; 
then  followed  a  dip  in  the  road  just  before  Stone- 
henge where  flood  water  was  pouring  across  the 
road  boot  high,  and  with  force  enough  to  make 
you  think  it  was  a  ford  across  a  swift  stream  ; 
then  Stonehenge,  which  we  passed  within  a  few 
yards  of ;  so  disappointing  somehow  in  size, 
and  yet  so  mysterious,  as  being  put  there  by 
"wj-"  of  hundreds  of  years  ago,  the  scene  of 
horrible  cruelties  and  sacerdotal  murderings,  and 
still  overlooking  a  wild  scene  where  generations 
of  men  have  learned  and  still  do  learn  the  most 
skilful  of  fiendish   ways   of    killing  other  men. 


"TOMMIES"  AT  STONEHENGE  27 

Well,  here  we  are  coming  to  add  to  our  skill 
at  the  same  old  trade.     "  The  Plain  "  is  a  weird 
sight :  no  plain  at  all,  but  folds  and  waves  of 
ground  for  miles,  with  an  occasional  square  of 
firs  with  about  the  comparative  frequency  of  the 
cherries  in  cherry  cake  ;    everywhere  are  towns 
of  hutments,  tents  and  other  buildings  on  every 
point  of  the  horizon.     Heaven  and  the  War  Ofhce 
only  know  what  countless  hosts  of  soldiers  are 
here.     We  continually  met  marching  parties  and 
saw  others  skirmishing  and  generally  "  messing 
about."     A  party  of  about  200  were  drawn  up  in 
Stonehenge  enclosure,  and  a  sporting  officer  was 
evidently  explaining  it  to  them.     I  wonder  if 
they  believed  him.    I  have  found  the  average 
Tommy's  mind  cannot  go  back  many  years  in 
imagination,  and  antiquities  to  him  are  so  much 
"  swank"  on  the  part  of  the  kindly  officer  who 
tries  to  interest  them.     Well,  we  finally  had  to 
take  to  the  "  grass,"  long  since  trodden,  ground, 
and  churned  into  deep  toffee-like  mud  (inciden- 
tally, men  returned   from   the   trenches   assert 
that  the  Plain    is   worse  than  the  trenches  in 
France  for  mud,  and  though  I  take  that  cum 
grano  salts  I  cannot  imagine  worse),  and  finally 
got  to  our  hutments,  wooden  buildings  about 
fifty  feet  long  and  twenty  wide,  with  thick  card- 
board for  ceiUng  and  wall-paper,  and  three  boards 
stretched  across  two  low  trestles  four  inches  high 
c 


28         LONDON  AND  SALISBURY  PLAIN 

for  each  man's  bed.  Outside  is  a  sea  of  black 
toffee,  piles  of  timber,  rusting  galvanized  iron, 
hundreds  of  stoves,  pipes,  and  fittings  rotting  and 
rusting,  breaking  and  cracking  in  a  vast  filthy- 
welter,  hordes  of  workmen  putting  up  hutments 
so  fast  that  one  turns  round  to  blow  one's  nose  and 
on  facing  front  again  sees  another  building  up  ! 
As  yet  only  two  taps  laid  on,  and  they  spring  up 
out  of  the  ground  like  stuffed  snakes  erect, 
covered  with  frost-proof ;  but  we  may  only  drink 
thereat,  so  no  one  had  a  wash  for  two  days  until 

we  returned  to  .     The  next  thing  was  bed, 

two  blankets  a  piece  and  the  three  boards,  but 
we  slept  the  sleep  of  the  just  (pegged  out).  Forty 
men  in  a  room  and  looking  for  all  the  world, 
when  I  woke  up  in  the  night  owing  to  the  collapse 
of  my  four-inch  trestle,  like  a  horrible  nightmare 
in  some  catacomb,  were  it  not  for  the  fact  that 
whereas  all  slept  visibly,  most  slept  also  audibly. 
The  next  day  came  the  firing  tests,  prefaced  by  a 
five  mile  walk  across  the  sticky  waste  and  once 
fording  a  stream  knee  high,  flowing  not  in  the 
bed  of  a  stream,  but  down  a  lane  !  Understand, 
we  were  only  the  gunners  and  the  signallers,  and 

the  guns  we  used  belonged  to  the R.F.A., 

whose  drivers  drove  them  into  action  for  us  at 
the  various  places. 

The  firing  was  on  the  whole  good,  and  the 
Colonel   was   pleased.    The   horses   were   fairly 


FIRING  TESTS  29 

used  to  it ;  we  had  them  500  yards  off  undercover, 
and  at  every  discharge  they  only  bobbed  their 
heads  up  and  down.  The  first  discharge  until 
the  trail  of  the  gun  forces  itself  into  the  ground 
rattles  and  rends  every  bone  in  your  body  and 
jumps  you  up  a  few  inches  on  the  iron  seat,  after 
which  you  get  used  to  it,  and  so  long  as  the  mouth 
is  kept  open  at  each  discharge  no  harm  results  ; 
if  not,  the  pressure  may  burst  the  ear  drums. 
First  target  about  3,300  yards,  "  Guns  in  action." 
The  gunners  cannot  see  them  (imitation  guns  of 
course),  as  our  guns  are  just  below  the  brow  of  a 
hill,  so  the  firing  has  to  be  controlled  from  the 
observation  station,  and  the  gun  has  to  be 
sighted  by  a  circular  dial  sight  upon  some  object 
the  gunners  and  observers  can  see;  then  the  angle 
of  sight  is  given,  the  muzzle  swung  round  the 
few  necessary  degrees,  and  the  dial  sight  re- 
adjusted the  same  number  of  degrees,  until  over 
it  you  can  see  the  object  or  auxiliary  aiming 
point  that  you  first  chose.  Although  it  may  be 
right,  left,  or  even  behind  you,  so  long  as  you 
are  sighted  on  to  it,  your  muzzle  will  point  at 
the  hidden  target  that  the  observers  require 
you  to  hit.  The  breech  is  closed  by  No.  2  with  a 
clang.  No.  3  pulls  the  firing  lever  and — bang — 
followed  by  a  long  shrieking  swish,  getting 
fainter  and  fainter  till — phut  !  the  shell  explodes 
and  a  puff  of  white  smoke  right  on  the  "  guns  in 


30        LONDON  AND  SALISBURY  PLAIN 

action  "  shows  the  range  and  the  line  are  found  ; 
then  you,  or  rather  Nos.  4,  5  and  6,  set  fuses, 
so  that  instead  of  bursting  on  percussion  the 
shrapnel  will  burst  by  time,  about  thirty  feet 
above  the  target.  This  goes  on  for  five  hours  at, 
respectively,  guns  in  action,  infantry  in  trench, 
infantry  advancing,  and  cavalry  advancing,  all 
duly  represented  correctly  at  different  ranges, 
and  finally  at  a  target  behind  a  hill  crest  and 
therefore  invisible  to  gunners  or  observers  alike. 
Bang — a  sheet  of  flame  from  the  muzzle,  the  old 
swishing  sound,  a  faint  crash,  and  a  tree  on  the 
hill  crest,  two  feet  in  diameter,  disappears  4,500 
yards  away,  or  two  and  a  half  miles,  and  doubtless 
the  target  behind  is  duly  peppered  with  shrapnel 
and  bits  of  tree  ;  it  is  the  quickest  tree  felling  I 
have  ever  seen,  and  a  very  good  way  of  reducing 
the  raw  material  to  firewood  ;  the  funny  thing 
is  that  the  burst  is  visible — naturally — long 
before  the  scream  of  the  shell's  passage  is  finished 
and  the  crash  of  its  burst  heard.  On  our  return 
several  aeroplanes  were  airing  over  the  Plain, 
but  a  really  funny  sight  was,  not  an  aeroplane 
but  a  hare  (o'  plain)  followed  at  an  immense 
distance  by  a  short-legged  mongrel  dog,  who  had 
not  even  the  proverbial  "dog's  chance"  of 
catching  up  the  hare  ;  the  mongrel  was  heartily 
ashamed  of  himself  and  looked  it  every  small 
inch  of  him,  but  he  followed  us  gamely  all  the 


SOLDIERS'  RECEPTION  31 

way  to  the  station  for  some  reason  only  known  to 
himself,  and  on  arrival  was  a  mere  small  mud 
pudding  instead  of  a  white,  shaggy-haired  dog. 

Our  train  both  ways  wandered  round  the  north 
of  London  on  a  loop  line  evidently  used  chiefly  for 
troop  trains  for  about  twenty  miles  from  Woking, 
through  Willesden,  Hampstead  Heath,  Staines, 
Richmond,  Ilford  and  Stratford,  E.  (these  places 
are  not  in  order,  and  therefore  show  no  direction 
of  route  !  !  !)  Women  crowded  the  windows  all 
the  way  and  waved  and  called  blessings  on  our 
amateur  and  territorial  heads ;  it  is  awfully 
sporting  of  them,  and  we  appreciated  it  tremen- 
dously and  it  bucked  us  up  a  lot.  We  cheered  and 
cheered  at  them  back  the  whole  way,  and  at  the 
various  "  guards "  on  important  stations  who 
"  turned  out "  in  style  and  cheered  us.  The  rate 
of  travel  through  London  being  only  about 
eight  to  ten  miles  an  hour,  we  enjoyed  that  part 
of  the  six-hour  journey  immensely.  It  was  very 
funny,  few  men  at  that  time  of  day  were  appar- 
ently in  their  houses,  but  all  women  and  children 
seemed  to  rush  to  the  windows  directly  they 
heard  the  train  and  our  yells.  Ladies  in  Rich- 
mond and  Twickenham  from  drawing-room 
windows,  servant  girls  from  the  kitchens,  less 
prosperous  ladies  of  Staines,  Hampstead,  Acton, 
etc.,  and  finally  crowded  tenements,  where  we 
crossed  over  the  M.R.  and  G.N.R.  a  few  hundred 


32         LONDON  AND  SALISBURY  PLAIN 

yards  from  St.  Pancras  and  King's  Cross  stations, 
and  the  hovels  round  Stratford,  they  all  seemed 
awfully  sporting.  I  remember  spotting  one 
dear  old  lady  just  like  Mother  in  a  drawing-room 
window  just  beyond  Kew  Gardens  station ;  she 
waved  like  a  good  'un,  and  we  gave  her  an  extra 
loud  yell  from  our  carriage.  The  noise  must 
have  been  tremendous,  as  both  sides  of  the  train 
had  the  same  thing  going  on  from  one  end  of  the 
train  to  another,  and  if  we  saw  a  woman  in  a 
street  below  us  we  generally  made  her  wave  by 
cheering  her  all  to  herself.  Goodness  knows  where 
we  shall  go  now,  as  the  "  situation  is  developing  " 

in ,  and  we  may  have  to  go  to .     Anyhow 

"  here  we  are,  here  we  are,  here  we  are  again," 
and  none  of  us  will  believe  we  are  going  anywhere 
else  until  we  are  there,  and  then  I  don't  think 
it  would  surprise  us  to  step  out  of  the  train  and 
find  the  name  of  the  station  blacked  over.  Like 
the  artillery,  whose  badge  bears  the  legend 
"  Ubique,"  the  censor  is  also  ubiquitous.  One 
thing  we  all  know  :  that  is,  we  shall  be  glad  when 
we  get  to  the  front,  for  although  we  are  not  sick 
of  the  R.F.A.,  we  are  heartily  sick  of  this  /Gotten 
Fiddling  ^bout. 


CHAPTER  IV 

YOUR    KING    AND    COUNTRY    NEED    YOU 

"  Two  o'clock  !  come  on,  next  relief,  gerrup, 
you  lazy  blighter" — thus  the  Corporal  of  the 
guard  addressed  a  recumbent  figure,  one  of  four 
that  lay  huddled,  but  fully  dressed  with  overcoat, 
bandolier  and  spurs  on  ;  three  rustled  them- 
selves sleepily  into  more  comfortable  positions 
in  the  straw,  while  the  fourth,  with  a  wide- 
awakeness  that  comes  only  with  practice,  snatched 
up  his  rifle  and  cap  and  prepared  to  be  escorted 
to  his  post  by  the  Corporal,  who  would  return 
with  the  relieved  sentry. 

"  Gosh  !  what  a  filthy  night,"  said  the  gunner, 
as  they  slushed  their  way  along  in  the  snow- 
covered  mud.  Snow  was  falling  fast  and  steadily 
in  big  crown-piece  flakes,  so  thickly  that  the 
two  groping  blindly  along  almost  bumped  into 
the  sentry. 

"  Anything  to  report  ?  "  "  Nothing,  Corporal." 
"  Right  then,  sentries  pass,  about  turn,  quick 
march  !  "  and  off  went  the  Corporal  and  the 
old  sentry  to  the  primitive  but  blessed  shelter 
of  the  guard  hut,  leaving  the  new  one  *'  packing  " 

33 


34        KING  AND  COUNTRY  NEED  YOU 

his  upturned  collar  with  his  handkerchief,  to 
prevent  the  snow  from  melting  down  his  neck. 
"  Rotten  game  this,"  he  had  been  saying  only 
a  few  hours  before  to  a  fellow-guard,  "Why  don't 
they  send  us  abroad  if  we  are  going,  and  not 
keep  us  messing  about  a  wretched  little  English 
hamlet  ?  We're  doing  no  good  here."  Of 
course  he  knew  he  was  wrong,  and  that  he  was 
only  grumbling  good-humouredly,  for  someone 
has  got  to  guard  and  keep  the  Old  country,  but 
he  did  not  know  that,  so  far  from  doing  no  good, 
he  was  shortly  to  do  the  best  thing  any  man 
can  do  for  his  Country,  whether  in  an  English 
hamlet  or  a  Belgian  mud-hole. 

Snow  was  still  falling,  till  the  sentries'  own 
footsteps  of  a  minute  before  were  obliterated. 
Three  o'clock  had  just  sounded  thickly  from  the 
little  church,  followed  by  a  quite  audible  Ting- 
ting-ting  from  some  clock  in  a  cottage  near  by, 
when  the  sentry  thought  he  saw  something  move 
along  the  dark  line  of  hedge  in  front  of  him  ;  but 
then  on  night  duty  you  so  often  do  see  things 
move  when  staring  fixedly  at  them — even  a 
two-ton  gun  will  change  its  shape,  or  a  bush  turn 
into  the  similitude  of  a  man  that  you  could  swear 
is  moving.  The  only  way  to  tell  is  to  turn  your 
eyes  elsewhere  for  a  moment,  and  then  suddenly 
flick  them  back  on  the  object.  Yes,  something 
did  move  stealthily  across  a  grey  break  in  the 


A  SENTRY'S  LAST  GUARD  35 

hedge.  "  Halt  !  who  goes  there  ?  "  a  ringing 
but  stern  challenge.  No  answer  but  the  soft 
dap-dap-dap  of  the  flakes  on  the  sentry's  face. 

"  Halt  !   or "  but  this  time  the  answer  came 

too  soon. 

"  Hear  that  ? "  The  five  men  in  the  guard  hut 
were  up  in  a  second,  rushing  on  capless  through 
the  stinging  snow,  loading  their  rifles  as  they 

ran.     "  My  God  !  old 's  shot."     It  was  the 

Corporal's  voice — "  Spread  out  quick,  find  him — 
shoot  if  he  doesn't  give  in."  And  he  bent  over 
something  that  the  snow  was  trying  to  hide, 
but  it  couldn't  hide  the  gradually  increasing 
patch  underneath  the  sentry's  head,  that  looked 
black  against  the  surrounding  pure  white.  The 
Corporal  did  what  he  could,  which  was  not  much, 
and  the  clearness  of  the  stricken  man's  murmur 
almost  startled  him  : 

"  Mother — Hft  me — up  " — and  the  Corporal 
lifted  the  tired  body  up  into  the  Everlasting 
Arms.  His  Superior  Officer  had  relieved  the 
weary  sentry  before  his  time  was  up. 


So  you  see  another  Englishman's  place  must 
be  filled  now,  and  who  is  going  to  do  it  ?  Wake 
up.  Englishmen  ;  stay  up  five  minutes  later 
to-night  and  think  it  out  alone,  whether  you  are 
going  to  let  your  King  and  Country  and  dead 


36         KING  AND  COUNTRY  NEED  YOU 

countrymen  call  to  you  in  vain.  This  little 
story  is  an  isolated  case  in  England,  you  say. 
Yes,  so  it  is ;  but  what  of  France  and  Belgium  ? 
During  the  time  you  have  been  reading  this 
short  tale  another  Britisher  has  fallen  with  a 
crash  in  the  mud  and  filth  ;  who  is  to  take  his 
place  ?  How  many  more  will  be  killed  or  maimed 
that  you  may  live  in  safety  and  comfort,  while 
you  are  sleeping  to-night ;  who  is  going  to  take 
their  places  ? 

Are  you  going  to  be  content  to  sit  in  your  arm- 
chair and  criticize  others  who  are  fighting  under 
difficulties  your  imagination  cannot  grasp,  nor 
the  pen  describe  ?  Are  you  going  to  argue  with 
others  in  the  train,  or  show  your  friends  in  the 
restaurants  with  crumbs,  spoons  and  forks  what 
you  would  have  done  here  on  the  frontier,  or 
where  this  regiment  or  that  battleship  should 
have  been  ?  Are  you  afraid  to  face  a  fire  hotter 
than  that  in  your  club  reading-room  ?  No  fear  ! 
You  are  British,  so  come  along  and  join  the  Army 
because 

YOUR    KING    AND    COUNTRY    NEED    YOU. 


CHAPTER  V 

FINISHING   TOUCHES 

March  loth^  1915- 
The  present-day  soldier  might  well  be  named  the 
"  Chocolate  Soldier,"  after  a  comedy  of  that 
name  and  his  propensity  for  melting  down  and 
stowing  away  pounds  of  it.  Well,  here  we  are 
still,  due  (a  week  ago — now  public  news)  to  go  to 
the  Dardanelles,  March  27th.  Counter-ordered 
to  prepare  to  go  to  Crete  next  Sunday,  now 
counter-ordered  again  in  favour,  I  fancy,  of  the 
Dardanelles  any  time  before  the  middle  of  April, 
and  so  the  world  wags  on.  But  we  certainly 
are  ready  and  expecting  a  move  somewhere  any 
time  within  the  next  month.  I  fancy  the  reason 
is  that  the  Home  Defence  Army  and  that  part 
of  K.'s  Army  who  will  remain  in  this  country  are 
not  yet  efficient,  and  there  is  still  a  possibility  of 
a  raid.  Whereas  Mr.  Asquith,  advised  by  K.  of  K., 
says  that  the  Territorial  Army  can  now  face  any 
troops  in  the  world,  it  has  bucked  everyone  up 
to  hear  we  are  officially  considered  so. 

The  last  three  days  we  have  been  marching  on 
foot  to  B.  ranges  for  musketry  target  practice, 

17 


38  FINISHING  TOUCHES 

at  which  nearly  all  have  done  very  well.  Wc  had 
200,  300,  and  500  yards,  the  target  being  a  brown 
life-sized  head  and  shoulders  against  a  green 
ground,  and  last  night  at  6.45  we  had  only  been 
back  two  hours  from  our  twelve  mile  tramp  and 
long  day  at  the  ranges  when  we  were  turned  out 
for  a  night  attack,  and  only  got  back  at  1.30  a.m. 
It  was  a  pitch  black  night,  which  rendered  our 
movements  rather  exciting,  as  this  country  is 
much  like  the  Fens,  only  with  plenty  of  wood 
and  six  foot  ditches  on  cither  side  of  the  road. 
I  am  now  one  of  the  signallers  on  the  2nd  battery 
staff,  and  rode  out  as  such  last  night,  being 
reconnaissance  officer's  signaller  (generally  known 
as  R.O.  signaller).  The  R.O.  chooses  the  position 
of  the  guns  and  then,  when  the  telephone  wires 
have  been  laid  between  the  wagon  line  and  him- 
self, orders  the  guns  up  into  position  ;  last  night 
the  guns  and  wagons  were  allowed  to  go  home 
again  from  the  wagon  line,  and  the  "  attack " 
carried  on  in  skeleton  for  instruction  of  officers, 
i.e.,  the  No.'s  i  of  each  gun  (the  sergeants)  acted 
as  a  gun  each  and  the  battery  staff  and  signallers 
and  range-takers  just  went  on  with  their  usual 
duties  with  sergeants,  lying  down  on  the  ploughed 
fields  at  intervals  of  twenty  yards,  instead  of 
guns.  We  had  great  difficulty  in  locating  the 
position  of  and  joining  telephone  wires  with  the 
1st  and  3rd  batteries,  each  half  a  mile  or  more  to 


GUNS  DOZING!  39 

right  and  left  of  us  in  plough  land,  separated  by- 
deep  water-ditches  and  very  thick  withy  hedges  ; 
the  3rd  battery  were  a  "  wash  out,"  and  we 
couldn't  get  in  touch  with  them  at  all,  though 
we  could  see  flashing  of  flash-lamps  occasionally 
a  mile  to  the  right  and  heard  distant  shouts.  I 
managed  to  flash  in  Morse  code  (with  H'.s  lamp) 
that  I  was  on  the  flank  of  G.B.  (the  2nd  battery) 
and  got  the  answer  G.A.,  which  showed  I  was  in 
in  touch  with  1st  battery  ;  but  as  only  three- 
quarters  of  a  mile  of  wire  had  been  brought,  and 
it  had  to  be  trailed  over  hedge  and  ditch  round 
about,  to  escape  roads  (and  the  risk  of  being  cut 
in  two  by  horses  or  men  passing  along),  we  could 
only  get  within  a  few  hundred  yards  of  one 
another,  and  a  megaphone  had  to  do  the  rest 
of  the  game.  Once  communication  was  estab- 
lished I  lay  down  myself,  and  jolly  glad  to  do  it,  and 
passed  the  orders  to  and  fro.  You  would  hardly 
believe  how  lovely  and  soft  (albeit  wet)  freshly 
ploughed  land  is  when  you  have  spent  a  day  on 
foot  and  half  the  night  in  the  saddle,  in  addition 
to  which,  when  saddling  up  in  the  dark,  I  got 
a  kick  which  has  made  me  rather  stiff  in  the 
right  leg.  Two  of  our  guns  (sergeants)  were  so 
weary  that  they  dozed  on  the  ground.  Of  our 
direction  I  haven't  the  remotest  idea,  except  that 
we  passed  through  Little  Waltham,  after  which 
we  never  touched  a  high  road.   Luckily  no  shoes 


40  FINISHING  TOUCHES 

were  cast  or  horses  went  lame ;  to  cast  a  shoe 
here  means  five  days  C.B.,  abroad  in  France  six 
months'  imprisonment,  as  you  are  supposed  to 
examine  all  four  shoes  to  see  if  they  are  loose 
before  you  go  out.  There  is  rarely  a  march  out 
which  doesn't  see  some  men  under  open  arrest. 
If  an  infantry  man  falls  out  for  any  reason  he  is 
put  under  open  arrest  and  has  to  explain  next 
day  to  the  Colonel  if  he  had  sore  feet  and  why. 
The  same  with  us.  Over-riding  horses,  horses 
coming  in  lame,  or  without  a  shoe,  gunners 
riding  on  the  limbers  uphill,  not  hearing  an  order, 
almost  anything  gets  you  put  under  arrest, 
officers  and  men  alike.  We  fully  expect  to  hear 
the  officers  of  3rd  battery  are  under  open  arrest 
for  not  establishing  communication  with  us 
last  night.  There  has  been  a  row  about  it ; 
had  I  not  found  the  ist  battery,  I  should  have 
been  under  arrest  by  the  reconnaissance  officer, 
and  he  in  turn  by  the  Brigade  Commander.  I 
had  a  nasty  half-hour  finding  them. 

Now  I  must  go.  I  fear  many  of  my  letters 
are  rather  technical,  but  what  else  have  we  to 
talk  of  but  our  work,  and  from  my  own  experi- 
ence of  the  South  African  War,  half  the  terms 
and  situations  used  and  explained  in  the  papers 
are  unintelligible  to  the  ordinary  public.  To- 
morrow we  hear  we  are  off  in  the  afternoon  all 
night  and  back  next  morning.    Terrible  war  this, 


PREPARING  TO  LEAVE  41 

especially  when   one  is   built  for  comfort — not 
speed  ! 

March  i^th,  1915. 

As  far  as  we  know  we  leave  here  next  week  for 
some  rest  camp — ^Winchester,  I  fancy — for  a  week, 
during  which  it  is  thought  we  shall  get  forty- 
eight  hours'  leave  to  say  good-bye,  and  then  off 
by  night.  It  is  also  thought  now  that  we  are 
to  have  a  scrap  with  the  Germo-Turkish  or 
Turko-German  army  in  Turkey,  at  which  we  are 
rather  disappointed,  as  we  would  much  rather 
go  against  the  Germans  and  Austrians  in  France, 
where  the  North  Midland  Brigade  have  been 
fortunate  enough  to  be  in  action  five  days  after 
landing,  and  many  are  already  back  wounded, 
after  only  having  left  England  a  fortnight, 
though  I  believe  they  have  been  badly  cut  up, 
from  all  accounts  ;  but  the  official  casualty  lists 
are  not  out  yet.  Our  division  is  already  on 
the  move,  and  any  night  alarm  within  the  next 
week  or  so  may  be  our  last.  No  more  letters 
will  be  delivered  to  billets,  so  they  must  be 
addressed  as  above  to  the  regiment,  and  we  get 
them  from  the  battery  office.  You  doubtless 
remember  my  remarks  a  few  weeks  ago  before 
we  stabled  our  horses,  on  the  horse  lines.  The 
enclosed  photo  shows  you  the  state  we  left  them 
in  of  mud  and  water  six  inches  deep.     L.'s  gun 


42  FINISHING  TOUCHES 

boots  are  a  great  boon,  and  I  use  them  every  other 
day.  We  have  just  had  new  steel  shields  put  on 
our  guns  six  inches  higher  than  the  old  ones, 
and  are  going  to  use  the  new  high  power  shells, 
our  15-pounders  being  the  same  bore  (three 
inches)  pretty  well  as  the  French  75  mm.  bore, 
of  which  we  hear  so  much,  and  of  which  latter 
we  are  building  1,500  in  this  country  for  the 
French.    We  had  a  sort  of  farewell  service  at 

B yesterday     morning,    9.30    a.m.,    the 

first  church  parade  for  about  two  and  a  half 
months.  I  was  on  guard,  but  being  off  at  6  p.m. 
was  able  to  go  to  C.  Cathedral,  which  is  always 
full  of  off-duty  men  every  Sunday  night.  The 
cleric  didn't  break  in  to  his  course  of  sermons 
on  the  Prodigal  Son  which  he  has  been  giving 
to  say  a  word  of  advice  or  encouragement  to  the 
men,  and  not  a  word  was  said  of  their  going,  or 
any  special  hymn  or  prayer,  although  it  is  public 
news,  and  we  had  the  dismalest  Lenten  hymns 
you  can  imagine.  Many  of  the  men  were 
frightfully  disgusted  at  what  may  be  their  last 
service,  possibly  for  ever.  Certainly  I  was.  The 
C.  people,  for  all  the  80,000  men  round  them,  don't 
and  won't  realize  we  are  at  war  for  our  very  exist- 
ence as  a  nation  and  an  empire,  and,  bless  'em, 
they  go  on  in  the  same  old  way.  The  district 
visitors  must  meet  and  their  sick  must  be  visited, 
but  not  a  word  will  the  cathedral  authorities  exert 


SLEEPY  CIVILIANS  43 

themselves  to  speak  to  the  great  army  that  is 
nightly  melting  away.  Scores  of  my  pals  went 
thinking  to  get  a  farewell  service,  knowing  the 
General  had  told  the  Cathedral  people.  If  the 
man  in  the  street  only  knew  what  the  army  abroad 
and  in  England  is  saying,  that  if  it  were  not  for 
the  sake  of  the  King  and  Empire,  it  would  not 
be  worth  fighting  just  for  the  sake  of  the  Jews 
and  foreigners  that  form  so  large  a  proportion 
of  our  population.  Luckily,  those  abroad  have 
not  yet  realized  that  the  civil  population  at  home 
care  nothing  so  long  as  they  can  eat,  sleep,  and 
make  money  as  of  old  ;  when  they  do,  heaven 
help  England.  We  here  who  have  been  in  the 
district  under  the  influence  of  the  abortive 
sea  and  air  raids  (except  the  Scarborough  one) 
have  always  maintained  that  as  a  lesson  to  the 
country  and  to  wake  it  up  (a  cruel  but  necessary 
lesson)  we  ought  to  have  retired  from  the  coast 
and  let  the  Germans  land.  Instead  of  rushing  to 
it  in  thousands  and  making  them  realize  it  was  a 
hopeless  job,  we  could  have  smashed  them  to 
bits  once  they  landed,  and  whatever  harm  they 
did  would  be  amply  repaid  by  waking  up  the 
civil  population  to  what  is  going  on.  As  it  is, 
instead  of  five  million  soldiers  we  have  only  two 
million  (one  and  a  half  of  those  only  seven  months 
trained),  and  if  things  go  against  us  in  the  tre- 
mendous advance  on  Germany,  when  it  starts, 


44  FINISHING  TOUCHES 

we  shall  be  done,  for  it  will  then  be  too  late  to 
appeal  for  and  train  more  men.  Still,  we  shall 
rumble  out  of  C.  one  of  these  nights  about  2  o'  clock, 
probably  upsetting  a  few  poor  civilians'  sleep, 
and  shall  leave  (never  willingly  to  see  again)  a 
county  of  England  that  is  not  worth  fighting  for 
as  regards  its  population,  though,  being  the  larg- 
est wheat-growing  county,  it  is  doubtless  very 
valuable  to  the  country  for  that.  Do  not  think 
I  alone  am  bitter  about  this  (and  I  don't  know 
why  I  should  worry  you  about  it)  ;    the  whole 

regiment,  and  the Infantry,  the ,  and 

indeed  all  the  division  are  in  the  same  state  of 
mind,  and  this  general  "  fed  up  "  feeling  we  have 
all  suffered  from  for  three  months  is  not  due  to 
excessive  work,  or  being  kept  in  England,  but 
at  the  apathy  shown  in  England  and  the  lack 
of  support  by  the  country.  As  regards  the 
Church,  the  less  said,  perhaps,  the  better  ;  they 
are  asleep.  Here  and  there  a  man  wakes  up, 
like  the  sporting  Bishop  of  London,  who  leaves  his 
See  during  Easter  for  the  front,  where  he  and  his 
brother  bishops  have  a  male  flock  already  of  one 
million  men,  with,  as  a  rule,  two  chaplains  to  a 
division  (our  division  has  two  for  the  50,000 
men).  This  is  and  has  been  my  only  grumble 
during  the  war,  and  I  should  say  nothing  of  it 
were  it  not  that  the  same  is  in  all  men's  mouths, 
chiefly,  of  course,  those  who  in  ordinary  times 


SPIES  45 

would   sooner   enter    one    beershop    than    fifty 
churches. 

March  2ph,  19 15. 

Thank  you  both  so  much  for  your  letters  and 
prayers,  both  invaluable  to  me  and  very  cheering. 
We  are  delighted  to  be  actually  going  at  last, 
and  we  leave  3  a.m.  Monday  morning  for  where 
we  don't  know,  but  hear  it  may  be  Havre,  and 
we  shall  be  busy  all  to-morrow  (Sunday)  getting 
ready  and  clearing  up  here. 

Well,  this  can,  I  fear,  only  be  just  a  wee  note 
to  bid  you  good-bye,  as  I  wish  I  could  do  in 
person,  and  to  say  that  I  look  forward,  D.V.,  to 
a  summer  holiday  at  T.  ;  as  we  have  now  four 
million  men  under  arms  we  ought  to  be  able  to 
make  a  good  show  and  bash  the  Germans.  La  st 
night  a  sentry  of  ours  was  shot  by  a  figure  he 
challenged  three  times  about  11  p.m.  He  was 
shot  in  the  leg  as  he  gave  the  third  challenge  and 
began  to  load,  but  he  was  able  to  finish  loading 
and  send  three  shots  in  return,  which,  of  course, 
missed,  as  he  felt  too  shaky  to  aim  properly  ; 
the  beast,  whoever  he  was,  got  away  safely. 
The  third  incident  of  similar  nature  with  our 
battery.  Well,  I  fear  I  must  go  now,  hoping  to 
see  you  again  soon,  still  both  of  you  hale  and 
hearty  and  free  from  rheumatism,  which  I  am 


46  FINISHING  TOUCHES 

sorry  to  hear  you  have  both  had  this  winter. 
May  God  watch  over  our  old  home  and  the  dear 
saints  in  it  and  comfort  you  all  in  this  time  of 
anxiety  and  stress. 


CHAPTER  VI 

AT   THE    FRONT 

March  igth,  191 5. 
Here  we  are    with    our    horses  duly  watered 
and  fed  on  the   dock  station  platform  and  are 

awaiting   embarkation   in   the  good  ship  , 

bound  for  .     I  can't  be  more  explicit  even 

if  I  knew,  as  I  am  writing  this  at  His  Majesty's 
expense  and  diddling  the  Government  out  of 
id.  stamp.  Well,  we  have  had  a  weird  night. 
It  took  us  from  midnight  till  5.40  a.m.  to  ride — 
at  a  walk — to  Witham  and  entrain  there,  after 
which  we  got  a  few  nods  in  the  train  and  found 
ourselves  still  running  round  the  outskirts  of 
London  and  through  Woking  at  8.30  a.m.,  and 
here  about  noon.  We  don't  know  when  we 
embark,  but  the  3rd  battery  haven't  arrived  yet. 
Well,  we  had  a  magnificent  and  inspiring  send- 
off.  One  belated  man  and  his  wife  waved  at  us 
as  we  passed  through  Chelmsford  and  one 
policeman  bid  us  good  luck,  otherwise  we  have 
sneaked  out  of  England  stealthily  and  one  can 
hardly  believe  the  finality  of  the  business.  Pass- 
ing through  the  London  stations  was  a  bit  more 

47 


48  AT  THE  FRONT 

exciting,  and  our  blobbed  and  variegatedly 
painted  guns  caused  much  comment.  Well, 
I  cannot  go  on,  as  here  is  the  3rd  battery  train, 
and  we  shall  have  to  make  room  for  them.  The 
vet.  officer  is  running  through  our  horses  finally 
and  casting  any  unfits  (only  three)  out  of  our 
battery,  and  remounts  are  here  ready  to  take 
their  place. 

Not  a  word  was  spoken  from  harnessing  in  to 
the  time  we  got  into  the  train  on  pain  of  arrest. 
I  had  to  ride  200  yards  in  front  of  the  battery  as 
outpost  guard,  a  man  with  a  red  lamp  riding 
just  behind,  to  warn  any  motorists  that  troops 
were  coming.  Then  the  rest  of  the  battery  staff 
and  then  the  guns  and  "them  waggins" 
(ammunition  wagons). 

April  1st,  1915. 

I  wouldn't  miss  some  of  our  experiences  for 
worlds,  and  it  is  so  interesting  to  have  for  once 
the  Tommies'  point  of  view  and  to  hear  what 
they  think  and  see  what  they  do  when  they  are, 
so  to  speak,  not  on  show  before  an  officer  or  a  war 
correspondent.  We  have  a  fair  sprinkling  of 
gentlemen  in  the  2nd  battery  and  all  are  jolly 
good  fellows  to  work  with,  though  somewhat 
mixed.  Talking  of  war  correspondents,  I  under- 
stand they  are  all  interned  in  Paris,  and  they 
"  draw  "  their  "  copy "  much  as  we  draw  our 


JOURNEYING  IN  CATTLE  TRUCKS       49 

rations,  duly  weighed  and  carefully  prepared. 
We  are  in  a  barn  here,  120  or  thereabouts  of 
us,  together  with  two  young  calves ;  happily  a 
low  rail  does  confine  the  actions  of  the  latter  to  a 
six  foot  square  portion  of  it.  But,  like  the  barn 
— they  smell. 

We  revelled  in  a  wash  this  morning,  the  first 
most  of  us  have  been  able  to  get  since  leaving 
England  on  Sunday,  though  some — unlike  my- 
self, who  was  unlucky  enough  to  be  a  picket  on 
board — got  a  sort  of  penny  wash  on  the  steamer. 
We  entrained  in  cattle  trucks  (there  was  only 
one  civilized  coach  for  the  officers);  eight  horses, 
four  at  each  end  of  truck  and  two  men  and  all 
the  saddlery  appointments,  instruments,  etc., 
piled  together  between  the  eight  for  twenty-four 
hours'  journey.  Sleeping  through  the  night 
was  the  funniest  ;  four  times  I  was  awakened  by 
one  or  other  of  the  horses  pawing  my  leg  and 
body,  and  my  pal  was  pawed,  luckily  only  just 
touched,  in  the  face  ;  they  were  very  restive  the 
first  few  hours  and  kept  pawing  saddles,  straps, 
girths,  feed-bags,  etc.,  under  themselves,  which 
in  the  pitch  dark,  no  lights  allowed,  were  difficult 
to  salve. 

1.30  p.m.  I  had  just  been  detailed  to  go  with 
a  party  of  officers,  signallers,  rangetakers  and 
staff — a  little  party  of  ten  men  to  go  into  the 
firing  line  by  motor  for  instruction.     Got  ready, 


50  AT  THE  FRONT 

paraded  and  everything,  but  unfortunately  they 
had  to  reduce  the  party  to  eight  to  fit  the  cars, 
and  the  senior  signallers  were  taken — those  two 
who  have  been  in  corps  for  two  or  three  years.  I 
feel  awfully  mad,  as  it  would  have  been  a  lovely 
ride  and  a  good  experience  and  look  round,  but 
I  think  the  battery  will  follow  for  its  spell  of 
duty  in  a  few  days'  time.  I  hope  so,  as  we  shall 
all  go  stale  at  the  work  unless  we  get  some  actual 
experience. 

This  is  very  pretty  country  round  here,  all 
well  under  cultivation. 

8.30.  Just  turned  in.  My  sleeping-place 
and  that  of  two  other  men  is  the  two  calves' 
inner  room,  six  feet  long  by  five  feet  broad,  the 
two  little  rooms  being  partitioned  off  from  the 
rest  of  the  interior  of  the  barn  ;  but  as  regards 
room  we  are  better  off  than  the  rest,  who  are 
packed  so  tight  they  cannot  straighten  their 
limbs  and  there  is  much  interlocking  of  boots. 
I  remember  when  acting  "  Trinculo "  in  ^he 
Tempest,  at  one  of  our  school  plays,  it  fell  to 
my  lot  to  say  that  "  Adversity  acquaints  a 
man  with  strange  bedfellows."  I  little  thought 
that  the  words  were  prophetic  and  that  I  should 
fulfil  them  myself  fourteen  years  later  !  Certain 
of  the  other  fellows  talk  of  rats  running  over  them. 
This  afternoon  we  had  to  ourselves,  and  I  spent 
it  buying  small  things  at  the  three  or  four  small 


A  FRENCH  INN  5' 

epiceries,  just  for  the  practice  at  French.  I  can 
get  on  very  well  myself,  but  either  I  am  getting 
a  bit  deaf  or  else  they  don't  speak  their  own  lan- 
guage properly,  for  I  have  to  make  them  repeat 
it  all.  Anyhow,  I  have  gathered  that  we  and  the 
French  on  October  8th  drove  the  Germans  out 
of  the  village,  a  fact  testified  by  many  graves 
on  the  main  road.  The  local  Debits  de 
Boisson,  which  is  apparently  their  rotten  way 
of  saying  "  inn,"  gave  me  an  evening's  amuse- 
ment ;  but  the  stuffiness  is  inconceivable,  and  can 
only  be  brought  about  by  the  wood  painted-in 
windows,  and  charcoal  oven,  of  the  French  inn, 
combined  with  the  presence  of  twenty  men, 
eating  pea  soup.  I  commend  to  your  house- 
wifely notice  a  good  tip,  that  is,  to  save  room 
on  a  fireplace  when  you  are  busy  cooking,  boil 
eggs  in  the  pea  soup  as  these  French  dames 
do  ! 

Of  the  French  soldiers  we  have  seen  no  very 
noble  specimens,  though  all  we  have  met  or 
passed  have  been  very  genial  and  enthusiastic  at 
our  presence. 

At  3  a.m.  during  our  long  train  journey  we 
stopped  to  get  to  the  food  and  forage  truck. 
French  Tommies  brought  us  a  kindly  meant  but 
filthy  concoction  of  coffee  and  rum.  They  said 
it  was  "  cafe  and  brarndee,"  but  if  it  was  brandy 
it  was  very  rum  brandy. 


52  AT  THE  FRONT 

Easter  Eve,  April  yd,  191 5. 

There  has  been  more  or  less  intermittent  firing 
going  on  not  many  miles  away,  and  judging  from 
memory  (I  should  be  glad  of  a  good  ordnance 
map  of  France  and  Belgium)  and  since  acquired 
knowledge  we  seem  to  be  in  the  centre  rear  of  a 
horseshoe  opposition.  The  sky  is  lit  up  at  night 
by  star  shells  and  searchlights,  the  former — as  a 
dragoon  expressively  puts  it — enabling  one  to 
see  a  flea  crawling  across  a  penny  !  The  star 
shells  burst  above  the  ground  and  give  a  brilliant 
white  light  for  a  few  seconds — magnesium,  I 
should  think. 

The  part  we  are  in  is  very  much  like  an  undu- 
lating Fen  district,  without  the  dykes  and  drains, 
but  with  the  fen  trees  denuded  of  branches 
except  just  at  the  top,  a  weary,  eye-aching  coun- 
try that  seems  to  lack  soixante  centimes  for  a 
pot  of  paint  ;  everything  looks  poverty-stricken, 
tumble-down  and  paintless,  and  the  clothes  ot 
the  peasants  and  such  soldiers  as  we  have  seen, 
dingy  and  squalid.  Of  course  we  have  seen  little 
or  nothing  of  the  populous  towns,  but  the 
railway  rolling  stock  is  notably  a  poor  effort, 
the  "  firsts  "  that  the  officers  travelled  in  being 
much  like  a  "third"  we  would  find  on  the  Fur- 
ness  Railway  or  some  other  antediluvian  British 
railway. 

Most  of  the  small  shopkeepers  in  this  village 


SHOPPING  55 

know  our  coinage,  all  of  which  is  freely  current, 
and  can  conduct  their  business  with  us  in  staccato 
English  phrases.  But  I  for  one  am  determined 
to  inflict  on  them  the  full  force  of  my  French, 
and  doubtless  make  many  false  quantities  and 
declensions ;  but  they  understand,  and  become 
excessively  voluble  in  return.  A  friend — also  a 
signaller — apparently  wasn't  so  successful,  as  on 
going  out  last  night  to  get  acid  drops  he  couldn't 
express  himself  decently  and  came  back  crest- 
fallen with  liquorice  gums,  a  confection  he 
abominates ;  but  they  had  been  thrust  on  his 
unwilling  hands,  a  poor  tribute  to  his  French. 
For  my  part,  I  have  searched  the  street  (three 
shops  and  two  pubs)  for  un  petit  miroir,  six  inch 
diameter  or  so,  as  I  have  lost  mine,  but  am  assured 

the  nearest  place  at  which  I  can  get  one  is 

(by  jove,  I  nearly  told  you  then),  about  two  kilos 
off,  but  we  are  not  allowed  there,  the  limit  of  our 
perambulations  being  a  strip  of  road  500  yards 
long,  a  farmyard  which  is  one  vast  manure 
heap,  and  a  field  which  is  one  big  evil  drain  ! 
So  I  must  needs  shave  with  a  borrowed  mirror 
for  the  rest  of  my  military  existence.  To-morrow 
being  Easter  Day,  I  propose  unwinding  my 
puttees  in  honour  of  the  day,  for  the  first  time 
since  Palm  Sunday  morning.  I  plume  myself 
that  it  is  a  credit  to  the  regiment  to  be  able 
to  keep  one's  puttees  correctly  wound  for  a  long 


54  AT  THE   FRONT 

week  of  riding,  sleeping  in  the  train  on  a  muddled 
heap  of  "appointments,"  and  scufHing  about  on 
picket  in  the  hold  of  a  boat.  That  is  one  useful 
thing  they  taught  us  in  the  Warwick  Yeomanry. 

You  would  laugh  to  see  my  horse.  I  have 
one  detailed  to  me  now.  He  certainly  was 
built  for  comfort  rather  than  speed,  though  I 
can  get  him  to  flounder  along  at  a  fair  pace  even 
with  my  bagman's  bundles  and  Father  Christmas 
telephone  appointments  hung  round  me,  the 
total  weight  of  which,  I  feel  sure,  doubles  my 
own.  Most  of  the  gees  in  our  battery  are  not 
the  true  artillery  type  (smaUish  but  stocky)  ; 
the  drivers'  horses  are  mostly  large,  heavily 
built,  as  you  would  see  driving  light  railway  vans 
in  England,  and  mine  at  present  is  in  a  lesser 
degree  one  of  these,  not  a  proper  outrider's  horse 
at  all.  I  have  dubbed  him  "  Pickwick,"  as  he 
is  rather  a  character  in  the  sub-section,  and  will 
eat  anything  from  a  piece  of  paper  to  a  case- 
hardened  army  biscuit. 

The  last  time  I  heard  from  anyone  in  L.'s 
Bank,  they  have  sent — so  he  said — i,ioo  men 
out  of  nearly  4,000  men  on  the  staff,  which 
percentage  is  higher  than  the  other  banks.  The 
L.C.  and  M.  next  with  over  1,000,  B.'s  over 
550,  and  yet  it  is  the  cry  that  the  "  middle 
class"  has  not  offered  for  service.  To  my 
mind  it  is  the  lower  middle  and  artisan  classes 


SOLDIERS  WHO  "GROUSE"  55 

that  are  still  shirking  about  at  home,  and 
the  British  workman  will,  I  hope,  be  the  con- 
tempt of  nations  for  all  time  for  the  way  they 
have  struck  work  partly  for  more  cash,  but  chiefly 
so  that,  forsooth,  they  can  indulge  in  their  week- 
end holidays  and  carousals,  at  the  most  critical 
time  this  conglomeration  of  nations,  that  make 
up  the  British,  has  ever  seen  since  their  ancestors 
painted  themselves  with  woad,  for  pretty  much 
the  same  reason  that  we  are  adorned  in  khaki 
— protective  colouring.  I  have  noticed  that 
even  in  this  regiment  those  who  are  likely  to 
make  the  best  soldiers  of  the  three  classes  in 
it,  gentry,  artisans,  and  agricultural,  are  the 
first  and  the  last.  The  artisan  is  always  grous- 
ing for  his  rights  and  kicking  against  authority 
and  grumbling  at  the  food,  etc.,  which  is 
probably  far  more  nutritious  and  better  in 
quantity  and  quality  than  he  is  accustomed 
to,  and  he  has  not  that  same  care  for  and  sym- 
pathy for  his  animals  that  he  has  even  for  his 
gun,  or  his  machinery  in  the  works  at  home.  This, 
of  course,  refers  (in  my  idea)  to  the  Tommy 
who  has  to  be  made  useful  in  six  months ;  but  the 
screw  of  discipline  is  gradually  growing  tighter, 
and  has  during  the  past  two  months  wisely  been 
rather  elastic  to  the  independent  class  that  has 
filled  the  Territorial  regiments. 

Here  one  feels  so  restricted,  passing  houses 


56  AT  THE   FRONT 

one  must  not  enter,  roads  one  must  not  go  up — 
it  is  ordered  whether  one  shall  mount  or  dismount 
from  animal  or  train — till  I  verily  believe  when 
I  get  back  home  again  on  my  holidays  I  shall  be 
looking  round  for  a  bombardier  to  ask  if  I  may 
go  and  buy  a  paper  at  the  bookstall !  It  will  be 
a  great  joy  to  be  home  once  more,  to  be  able  to 
use  one's  intellect  and  initiative  once  again,  but 
we  want  to  have  been  in  action  first.  Once  that 
is  accomplished  I  don't  care  how  soon  the  business 
is  over,  though  I'm  afraid  it's  got  to  be  a  long 
job.  I  cannot  imagine  where  we  are  to  get  the 
trained  men  from  for  this  tremendous  advance 
in  Germany,  which  has  got  to  be  made  if  the  war 
is  to  be  over  quickly  ;  the  only  thing  is  that  the 
Germans  must  have  lost  their  original  standing 
army  just  as  we  have  and  in  greater  proportion, 
so  that  most  of  the  troops  opposing  us  cannot  be 
of  very  first  class  quality.  The  idea  of  them 
collapsing  from  economic  pressure  doesn't  appeal 
to  me  at  all,  as  it  leaves  them  with  all  the  honour 
of  having  faced  many  nations  and  won  much 
land  from  three  of  them  and  having  in  the  end 
to  give  way  owing  to  exhaustion  of  food  and 
munitions.  I  would  much  rather  feel  we  could  beat 
them  back  mile  by  mile,  at  any  rate  till  things 
were  in  statu  quo  before  the  war  and  Belgium 
and  France  more  intact. 
I  am  able  to  write  at  length  to-day,  as  I  am 


A  FARM-HOUSE  BILLET  57 

on  guard  and  get  spells  of  four  hours  off  duty, 
with  little  to  do. 

April  Sth,  191 5. 
Until  yesterday  I  have  had  three  days  and 
three  nights  almost  continuous  duty,  so  to-day 
am  slack,  only  relieving  at  meal-times.  Four 
of  us  had  some  fun  last  night  mending  wires  ; 
the  plateau  just  above  us  and  between  our  lines 
and  the  Germans  has  hundreds  of  them  going  to 
different  trenches  and  batteries,  tied  up  on 
sticks,  etc.,  about  five  feet  from  the  ground,  and 
if  anything  wants  doing  we  crawl  out  at  dusk. 
We  are  not  allowed  there  in  the  day-time,  not 
so  much  on  account  of  danger,  which  is  minute, 
but  I  think  for  fear  of  being  observed  and  giving 
away  our  position  to  the  enemy.  Of  all  the  farm- 
houses and  various  villages  up  there,  hardly  a 
house  remains  unshattered,  an  awful  state  of 
things  for  the  poor  people  to  come  back  to  when 
the  war  is  over.  We  signallers  of  the  battery 
are  all  billeted  in  this  farm-house,  where  we  have 
our  telephone  exchange,  the  battery  being  a  few 
hundred  yards  away,  and  the  rest  of  the  men  are 
in  an  adjoining  barn,  so  we  have  got  by  far  the 
best  of  it  and  plenty  of  floor  room  to  sleep  on. 
The  people  of  the  farm  are  very  dirty  and  exceed- 
ingly unobliging,  though  we  do  everything  for 
ourselves,  of  course,  and  by  jove  the  good  dame 
is  somewhat  on  the  make  and  charges  id.  for 


58  AT  THE  FRONT 

enough  butter  to  spread  on  one  biscuit,  and  she 
takes  our  candles  and  anything  else  she  can  lay- 
hands  upon  !  She  understands  a  little  French 
and  less  English,  so  we  have  great  fun  over  our 
conversations. 

Yesterday  our  battery  fired  on  the  Germans  for 
about  two  hours.  I  was  for  the  time  the  sig- 
naller with  the  battery  and  had  the  full  force  of 
the  fun,  as  they  replied  with  about  ten  or  a  dozen 
rounds,  searching  for  us,  the  two  nearest  bursting 
five  and  ten  yards  respectively  from  A  and  D 
guns,  the  rest  bursting  all  over  the  place  about 
400  yards  square.  It  was  the  first  time  we  had 
been  under  close  fire,  and  the  gunners  were  as 
cool  as  anything,  and,  judging  from  the  good 
results  of  their  firing  which  came  back  from  the 
forward  observing  station,  they  suffered  from  no 
shakiness  of  nerve.  It  was  a  funny  experience. 
You  can  hear  the  shells  coming  with  a  sound 
faintly  reminiscent  of  the  noise  made  by  a  switch- 
back railway.  No  one  was  hit,  and  it  was  evident 
from  the  fashion  of  their  firing  that  they  have  not 
discovered  our  battery.  To-morrow  it  will  be  my 
turn  to  go  to  the  forward  observing  station,  which 
will  be  interesting;  an  officer  observes,  and  the 
signaller  telephones  the  results  through  to  the 
battery  and  to  the  battery  commander  ;  a  per- 
fectly safe  position,  as  there  is  a  dug-out  there. 

Old  K.  of  K.  doesn't  waste  troops  hanging 


"ALL  SORTS  AND  CONDITIONS"  59 

about  as  they  did  at  first  in  South  Africa.  We 
were  in  the  firing  line  five  days  after  leaving 
England,  and  have  relieved  a  Regular  battery 
who  were  the  first  to  open  fire  in  the  war  in 
August ;  they  have,  I  suppose,  gone  on  to  a  more 
important  position.  We  have  got  a  rum  lot  of 
occupations  in  our  battery.  A  shop  manager 
was  laying  A  gun,  an  apprentice  engineer  B  gun, 
an  analytical  chemist  C  gun,  and  a  mechanic  D 
gun  !  The  Sergeant-Major  (acting)  was  a  solici- 
tor's clerk,  and  the  signaller  a  bank  cashier  !  and 
the  O.C.  the  son  of  a  late  director  of  Imperial 
Tobacco  Co. — I  don't  know  what  he  is  person- 
ally. Other  gun  "numbers"  and  signallers  were 
commercial  travellers,  mechanics,  college  men, 
a  wine  merchant,  and  a  good  supply  of  various 
clerks  !  Truly  there  will  be  some  chatting  over 
old  times  when  they  get  back  to  their  business 
trains  ! 

The  Regulars  here  are  awfully  indignant  at 
the  way  immortal  regiments  have  been  in  action 
again  and  again  since  August,  and  yet  nothing 
is  reported  of  their  doings  or  whereabouts,  and  it 
does  not  do  to  mention  the  London  Scottish  to 
them  ! 


CHAPTER  VII 


IN    ACTION 


April  6th,  191 5. 

Our  battery  came  into  action  on  Easter  Sunday 
night  and  opened  fire  yesterday  ;  the  other  two 
have  not  yet  come  into  place,  so  we  are  the  first 
of  our  brigade  and  are  very  pleased  thereat. 
We  have  come  to  relieve  a  Regular  lot  and  are, 
so  they  say,  the  most  advanced  point  of  the 
English  line. 

When  letters  do  come  for  us  they  will  come 
every  night  up  with  our  food  and  ammunition, 
but  as  yet  since  we  have  been  on  the  move  none 
have  come  to  hand  since  leaving  England.  We 
have  left  our  horses  and  drivers  and  unused 
wagons  about  two  miles  back,  behind  a  little 
town  from  which  we  promised  ourselves  we  would 
get  our  tobacco,  chocolate,  coffee,  etc.  But  on 
passing  through  it  in  the  dusk  on  the  way  to  our 
position,  we  found  it  devoid  of  a  soul,  the  whole 
place  a  wrecked  desolation,  roofs  and  walls  blown 
away,  hardly  a  house  without  its  gaping  wound, 
of  those  that  are  standing  at  all — the  church, 
which  looked   so   fair  from   a  distance,  having 

60 


BRINGING  UP  THE  GUNS  6i 

many  holes  blown  through  it,  the  tower  and  spire 
having  been  preserved  by  the  German  gunners, 
evidently  because  they  offer  a  good  aiming  point 
from  which  the  guns  may  be  laid.  It  was  a 
thrilling  experience  rattling  through  the  dead  and 
wrecked  town  and  over  a  mile  of  exposed  country, 
lit  up  brilliantly  every  few  seconds  from  the 
"  star  shells  "  which  the  enemy  send  up,  which 
show  every  object  clearly  like  lightning,  only 
that  they  remain  in  the  air  ten  to  twenty  seconds. 
However,  no  shells  came  our  way,  though  firing 
was  going  on  in  all  directions,  but  in  a  tired, 
desultory  way,  and  at  last  we  turned  off  the  high 
road  and  crept  along  a  hedge  towards  a  fold  in 
the  ground  near  where  our  position  was  to  be, 
the  guns  and  wagons,  barging  and  jolting  about, 
often  nearly  overturning. 

By  midnight,  Easter  Sunday,  the  battery  was 
in  position,  all  but  one  wagon  which  lay  in  a 
sticky  ditch  and  defied  the  whole  lot  of  men  and 
horses  to  get  it  out  for  an  hour.  No  one  spotted 
us,  and  the  star  shells  helped  us  in  the  pitch  dark 
a  little,  and  at  last  we  got  the  beast  into  position, 
and  the  drivers  returned  with  their  horses  the 
way  we  came,  and  forty  weary  gunners,  with 
arms  nearly  pulled  out  of  their  sockets,  aching  in 
every  limb  after  a  long  day  in  the  saddle  and  night 
in  heaving  and  lugging  guns  through  sticky  mud, 
retired  to  a  farm  barn  about  200  yards  in  rear 


62  IN  ACTION 

of  the  guns  and  slept  like  forty  tops.  The  next 
day  was  spent  in  beginning  the  preparation  of 
dug-outs,  the  laying  our  telephone  wires  to  the 
farm,  where  there  is  an  exchange  to  headquarters, 
the  infantry  trenches,  other  batteries,  etc.,  and 
we  opened  fire  midday,  making  good  practice, 
so  they  said  at  the  observing  stations.  At  the 
latter  we  signallers  will  have  to  relieve  one 
another  daily,  or  rather  nightly  under  an  officer  ; 
so  far  I  haven't  been  there.  The  farm  where  we 
are  billeted  has  several  shell  holes,  but  they 
have  never  discovered  the  battery  which  we 
relieved,  which  is  about  fifty  yards  in  rear  of 
our  own,  and  the  latter  is  so  well  marked  that 
it  is  impossible  to  spot  it  by  aeroplane  or  see 
it  from  a  distance.  Trees  upheld  by  wire  have 
been  planted  all  round  each  gun,  and  the  whole 
thing  looks  like  an  ordinary  thick,  pollarded, 
willow  hedge  in  a  flat  plain  facing  a  rise  over 
which  we  fire.  The  nearest  enemy  shell  fell 
yesterday  about  half  a  mile  off  !  and  as  one  can 
see  nothing  of  enemy,  friend,  trench,  or  gun,  one 
can  hardly  imagine  a  war  is  on,  except  for  our 
own  ear-splitting  roars  and  the  enemy's  dull 
booming.  Going  through  the  shattered  town  on 
Sunday  night  stirred  our  fellows  immensely, 
and  if  we  could  only  show  it  to  some  of  the  home 
slackers  in  its  awful  reahty,  I  am  certain  recruits 
would  not  be  lacking.     Last  night  two  of  us 


LIFE  UNDERGROUND  63 

signallers  at  7  p.m.  were  told  off  to  go  to  the 
infantry  trenches  telephone  exchange  under  an 
officer  and  a  guide,  and  here  we  are  in  a  farm-house 
cellar,  ten  feet  by  twenty-four,  with  ten  other 

signal  service  men  of  the ,  a  coke  fire  in  a 

bucket,  many  frowsy  wet  overcoats,  and  a  terrific 
atmosphere,  that  can  be  smelt  but  not  comfort- 
ably breathed.  We  are  not  far  from  our  own 
infantry  trenches  in  point  of  yards,  and  the  huge 
farm-house  under  which  we  are  is  blown,  wrenched 
and  battered  by  German  shells  into  an  untenable 
mass  of  wreckage.  No  one  is  allowed  upstairs 
in  the  day.  Last  night's  tramp  from  our  posi- 
tion to  this  one  here  in  the  pelting  rain  was  most 
weird,  and  I  am  waiting  now  for  dusk  to  return 
alone,  as  the  officer,  the  guide,  and  my  pal  were 
recalled  last  night  about  10  p.m.  It  is  about  a 
two-mile  tramp,  and  if  you  can  imagine  a  high 
plateau  like  the  top  of  Cheddar  gorge  (without 
the  gorge),  intersected  by  roads  avenued  by  trees 
of  immense  height  and  sparseness,  you  can  picture 
the  walk  last  night.  It  is  supposed  to  be  sudden 
death  to  be  seen  thereon  in  the  day.  Here  and 
there  was  a  tree  caught  in  the  middle  by  a  shell 
closed  up  on  itself  like  a  two-foot  rule,  some 
blown  away  altogether,  every  now  and  then  a 
farm-house  or  barn  without  a  roof,  or  a  roof  and 
perhaps  two  walls,  disembowelled  of  all  else  ; 
here  and  there  a  few  jagged  rafters  and  piles  of 


64  IN  ACTION 

shattered  brick,  all  shown  up  in  ghastly  sudden- 
ness by  the  star  lights.  Now  and  then  you  pass 
silent  companies  of  wet-blotting-paper  infantry 
ranged  along  the  roadside  waiting  to  go  as  reliefs 
into  the  trenches,  or  slush  suddenly  into  a  de- 
spondent pair  of  horses  drawing  a  general  supply 
wagon,  till  at  last  we  come  to  the  farm-house — 
the  officer  disappears  to  his  quarters,  and  we 
descend  into  our  small  cellar,  where  we  are 
cordially  welcomed  by  the  good  old  Sergeant, 
as  we  were  by  the  Scotch  battery  whom  we 
relieved  at  our  new  position. 

We  come  here  merely  to  take  charge  of  the 
end  of  our  wire  in  the  infantry  trenches  and  to 
receive  or  remit  messages  between  infantry  and 
artillery ;  but,  as  I  say,  my  pal  soon  left  and  I  am 
here  alone  for  twenty-four  hours  with  the  jolly 
fellows.  To-night  I  shall  be  relieved  by  another 
of  our  signallers  and  cither  go  out  to  the  forward 
observing  station  for  twenty-four  hours'  duty, 
or  remain  with  the  telephone  exchange  at  our 
battery.  Luckily  I  took  note  last  night  of  our 
route  by  means  of  ruined  chateaux,  farms,  and 
clumps  of  trees,  etc.,  otherwise  it  might  be  a  job 
finding  my  way  back  to-night,  but  it  will  be 
rather  fun.  I  shall  have  som.e  great  tales  to 
tell  you  when  I  return  ;  funnily  enough,  even 
out  of  this  war  one  keeps  on  getting  a  lot  of 
humour  and  fun  out  of  the  thing — quaint  situa- 


"MINOR  ILLS"  6s 

tions,  oddities  of  horses  and  queer  fixes  we  get 
into  and  makeshifts  we  have  to  put  up  with.  I 
often  He  on  our  smelly  straw  and  chortle  with 
amusement  to  hear,  for  one  thing,  the  variety 
of  tone,  calibre  and  timbre  of  the  snores  and  other 
methods  of  breathing  which  men  use  when  sleep- 
ing with  a  tunic  and  greatcoat  buttoned  tightly 
up  to  their  necks,  or  the  midnight  imprecations 
when  a  muddy  foot  meets  the  head  of  a  man 
beneath  it  in  the  tiers  of  human  sleepers,  and  we 
cover  the  floor  of  our  barn  as  closely  as  the  pieces 
of  marble  in  a  mosaic,  and  are  often  in  as  queer 
shapes  !  Of  the  minor  ills  that  have  assailed  me 
personally  I  have  to  report  a  hole  burnt  in  my 
hat  with  a  candle,  whence  rain  trickles  on  to  my 
head,  an  overcoat  that  never  did  and  never  will 
fit  and  is  scrubby  withal  to  the  chin,  a  big  tear 
in  the  same,  and  the  loss  of  a  fork,  which  gives 
my  fingers  more  work  than  is  fair  during  the 
extra  stress  of  war.  Any  small  description  I 
may  have  given  of  the  towns,  farm-houses,  etc., 
is  not  exaggerated ;  in  fact,  I  have  rather  under- 
than  over-estimated  the  facts,  and  have  not 
quoted  any  of  the  additional  spine-creeping 
horrors  which  one  hears  from  men  out  here,  but 
does  not  believe  all  of,  though  I  know  for  a  fact 
that  it  wouldn't  be  pleasant  to  go  through  that 
shattered  town,  and  look  on  the  walls  thereof 
by  daylight. 


()G  IN  ACTION 

Fourteen  British  soldiers  in  one  group  were 
a  fortnight  ago  destroyed  by  a  shell  in  one 
of  the  streets,  and  the  only  evidence  after  of 
their  presence  was  there.  We,  for  our  part,  are 
as  safe  as  in  England,  a  hidden  battery  undis- 
covered by  the  enemy,  and  as  comfortable  as 
it  is  possible  to  be  in  war  time,  far  more  so  than 
the  poor  infantry  in  the  trenches.  The  only 
thing  we  all  have  a  holy  fear  of  is  dirt,  and  thank 
goodness,  there  is  a  good  water  supply  at  one  farm. 
If  I  have  given  you  an  impression  of  French 
peasant  poverty,  squalor  and  dirt,  multiply  it 
ten  times  for  Belgian  ;  the  latter  is  a  saturated 
solution  for  all  three,  a  flat  country  whose  only 
decoration  is  endless  manure  heaps  and  jerry- 
built  tumble-down  barns,  a  land  of  small  holdings 
and  justly  illustrative  of  the  fact  that  small  hold- 
ings do  not  make  a  rich  country  nor  a  prosperous 
peasantry.  It  would  be  a  sight  for  sore  eyes  to 
see  a  baronial  residence  or  one  of  the  "  stately 
homes  of  England  "  and  a  bit  of  park  land.  I 
have  a  sort  of  notion  there  will  be  some  English 
letters  arrived  to-night,  and  perhaps  Punch  or 

an  English  paper.     We  are  in  the  Corps 

under ,  whom  you  know  already,  so  he  needs 

no  introduction  or  eulogy.  Our  post  goes  out 
nightly,  but,  of  course,  everything  is  censored. 
I  have  sent  you  a  Field  Service  postcard  more  as 
a  curiosity  than  anything  else,  as  at  present  no 


HOSPITABLE  TOMMIES  67 

particular  veto  has  been  placed  upon  writing 
beyond  disclosure  of  names,  places,  dispositions, 
etc.,  and  I  don't  think  the  most  cunning  Teuton 
could  have  gathered  any  material  information 
from  my  letters.  These  fellows  are  a  very 
decent  set  of  men,  as  the  signallers  of  most 
regiments  seem  to  be.  They  wouldn't  let  me 
use  my  own  rations  which  I  drew  last  night  for 
twenty-four  hours,  viz.,  four  biscuits  and  one 
tin  of  bully  ;  consequently,  I  have  lived  on  the 
fat  of  the  land  and  had  bread — actually  bread — 
and  apricot  jam  for  brekker  and  tea,  and  hot 
bacon  and  potatoes  for  dinner,  quelqiies  viands, 
or  "  some  "  meats,  as  the  Americans  would  say  ; 
and  for  a  Tommy  to  be  hospitable  with  his 
rations,  which  are  weighed  and  served  to  the 
cwt.,  and  are  not  always  so  luxurious  as  to  afford 
bread  and  bacon,  is  the  last  word  in  generosity. 

April  ijtJi,  191 5. 

The  Army  food  itself  is  good  and  certainly 
plentiful,  even  if  there  is  a  degree  of  sameness 
about  it,  and  I  should  think  the  most  wonderful 
feature  of  this  war  is  that  presented  by  the  vari- 
ous supply  corps,  whose  regularity  of  transport 
is  almost  equal  to  any  great  English  railway  in 
peace  time.  Fancy  letters  daily  in  the  trenches  ! 
and  leave  home  to  longer  service  soldiers  just 
as   if    they   were   Bank   Holiday   excursionists. 


68  IN  ACTION 

In  our  last  station  we  had  opportunity  of  watch- 
ing a  main  road  down  which  there  was  a  ceaseless 
traffic  of  motor  transports  and  omnibuses  both 
ways,  and  the  finger-tips  of  the  system  are  seen 
in  the  supply  wagon  that  arrives  under  cover 
of  darkness  each  night  at  this  farmhouse,  with 
food,  coal,  etc.,  as,  of  course,  nothing  is  taken 
from  the  country  except  such  farm  produce  as  is 
paid  for. 

April  gth,  191 5. 

We  are  comfortably  ensconced  in  a  farmhouse, 
at  least  the  signallers  are,  the  rest  being  in  a 
barn,  and  though  we  have  done  a  little  firing  we 
have  only  been  indirectly  fired  at  for  about 
half  an  hour,  as  our  position  is  well  hidden.  It  is 
interesting  work  now  after  all  the  months'  mud- 
grovelling  and  grooming  that  winter  imposed  upon 
us,  and  apart  from  occasional  window-shaking 
bangs  you  would  never  imagine  a  war  was  going 
on,  as  the  view  is  distinctly  peaceful  and  pastoral, 
or  rather  agricultural,  and  nothing  can  be  seen 
of  any  engine  of  destruction,  and  only  occasion- 
ally an  "engineer"  of  destruction  wandering 
across  a  field.  I  should  judge  that  I  am  rather 
nearer  you  now  than  when  I  am  at  home. 

One  naturally  gets  very  fed  up  at  times,  and 
then  in  comes  the  post  with  the  best  tonic  in 
the  world.     This  seems  such  a  wearying  war, 


BEAN-THRESHING  69 

doesn't  it,  both  for  those  at  home  and  abroad, 
slow  moving,  constant  standing  by  inertly  and 
with  little  to  show  what  or  when  the  ultimate 
end  will  be,  though  we  are  all  sure  what  it  will 
be — success  for  the  Allies. 

We  daily  see  a  flail  in  use  at  this  farm,  a  thing 
I  only  once  remember  seeing  in  my  life  before. 
They  are  beating  out  beans,  the  threshing  floor 
being  part  of  the  barn  where  the  gunners  are 
billeted.  The  agricultural  implements  and 
methods  altogether  seem  most  antiquated  here. 
You  were  very  kindly  asking  me  what  we  most 
need  here.  Well,  until  my  clothes  wear  out,  it 
is  very  little,  but  the  most  useful  things  to  receive 
are  papers,  writing  paper  and  envelopes,  and 
chocolate  and  cigarettes.  H.  sends  Punch  every 
week  ;  the  first  arrived  with  the  letters  yesterday, 
and  all  of  us  are  enjoying  it.  The  cigarettes 
are  useful,  too,  though  I  smoke  few  myself. 
Chocolate  is  always  and  continually  useful ;  we 
all  eat  pounds  of  it  owing  to  night  duties,  etc., 
and  sudden  moves  without  being  able  to  get 
meals  ;  also  it  staves  off  the  need  for  eating 
biscuit,  which  although  nourishing  and  not 
unpalatable,  are  desperately  hard  and  might 
be  called  "  The  Dentist's  Friend."  Apart  from 
that,  food  is  plentiful  and  good,  unless  on  the 
move.  We  get  a  slab  of  bacon  for  "  brekker," 
and  bully  (or  ordinary  tinned)  beef  for  dinner, 


70  IN  ACTION 

and  now  I  hear  while  we  are  stationary  we  are 
to  have  bread  alternate  days  ;  apart  from  that 
we  can  and  do  buy  eggs  2d.  each,  butter  two  francs 
a  pound,  and  milk  Jd.  half  a  glass,  so  you'll 
know  we  are  feeding  on  the  fat  of  the  land  con- 
sidering that  we  are  at  war,  I  must  say  I  miss 
my  cold  tub  in  the  morning  !  But  we  have  had 
to  put  up  with  nothing  as  compared  to  those 
poor  beggars  who  have  been  in  the  infantry 
trenches  all  the  winter. 

April  2^th,  191 5. 

I  am  to-day  doing  my  weekly  turn  at  the 
infantry  trench  headquarters,  a  slow  job  with 
little  to  do  but  yarn  and  sleep  in  a  cellar,  punc- 
tuated by  occasional  hostile  shellings ;  but  there 
has  been  none  to-day  nearer  than  200  yards. 
This  farm  here  is  one  of  the  most  historical  in 
the  war,  as  I  shall  be  able  to  tell  you  when  I 
come  back.  It  has  been  held  and  re-held  in 
turn  by  Germans  and  ourselves. 

April  zgth,  ^9'^S' 
The  Germans  yesterday  shelled  and  set  fire  to 
a  row  of  little  cottages  near  our  observing  sta- 
tion, and,  consequently,  burnt  through  six  wires, 
four  of  which  were  our  connection  with  the 
observers,  so  T.  and  I  went  out  to  mend  them. 
We  were  able  to  approach  most  of  the  way  along 


A  HOMELESS  COUPLE  71 

a  new  trench  which  was  apparently  their  target, 
but  this  ended  at  the  road  where  the  burning 
houses  were,  and  we  had  to  crawl  along  the  road 
ventre  d  terre,  being  freely  sniped  at,  as  they 
evidently  had  marksmen  trained  on  the  exit 
of  the  trench.  We  are  both  safely  back  now, 
though  at  the  time  neither  of  us  thought  we 
had  much  chance  of  being  so  lucky,  as  we  had 
to  do  most  of  the  job  before  dusk,  it  being 
impossible  where  so  many  wires  of  different 
regiments  and  batteries  cross  and  re-cross  to 
follow  out  and  join  up  four  of  our  own  in  the 
dark.  Just  after  dark  up  came  an  old  man  and 
woman  with  a  mule  and  three-wheeled  cart  (we 
were  on  the  job  from  4  to  9  p.m.).  The  woman 
was  weeping  bitterly,  as  all  that  was  left  of  their 
home — their  whole  world — was  a  glowing  furnace 
with  not  more  than  three  feet  height  of  wall 
left  to  show  where  their  house  had  been.  We  put 
the  old  woman  safely  behind  some  sandbags 
while  the  man  searched  for  anything  of  their 
household  gods  that  was  left ;  half  an  hour's 
search  brought  nothing  more  than  a  bucket, 
a  tea-pot,  and  one  or  two  other  metal  odds  and 
ends,  and  their  cat.  I  never  saw  anything  so 
pitiable  in  my  life  as  their  departure,  the  old 
woman — about  60 — trailing  along  ten  yards  be- 
hind the  cart,  reluctantly  and  constantly  look- 
ing back  at  the  little  place  that  had  probably 


72  IN  ACTION 

sheltered  them  for  the  whole  of  their  lives,  the 
whole  scene  flickering  redly  for  a  hundred  yards 
on  either  side  of  the  road,  where  other  cottages 
were  burning.  We  felt  very  helpless  and  could 
do  little  beyond  giving  her  a  bit  of  chocolate 
and  what  little  cash  we  had,  enough,  one  hopes, 
to  get  them  to  the  nearest  living  town,  where 
they  can  get  into  touch  with  relief  committees 
and  perhaps  be  sent  to  England.  The  thing 
that  upset  us  most,  however,  was  that  the  poor 
old  couple  were  under  sniping  fire  until  we  put 
them  behind  the  sandbags,  and  when  they  went 
off  we  just  followed  them  till  a  turn  in  the  road 
took  them  out  of  range.  After  that  we  sat  in 
a  ditch  and  made  remarks  about  the  Kaiser  that 
aren't  fit  for  reproduction  in  secret  code. 

Altogether  it  was  an  exciting  night,  the  shots 
coming  about  every  minute  or  minute  and  a  half  ; 
doubtless  later  they  must  have  bagged  some  poor 
beggar,  as  at  about  ten  or  eleven  the  reliefs  would 
be  passing  that  spot.  Until  we  got  to  the  observ- 
ing station  we  were  afraid  the  latter,  with  our 
officer  and  two  signallers,  must  be  blown  to  bits 
and  burning ;  but,  strange  to  say,  the  tumble- 
down old  barn  was  untouched.  Probably  it  looks 
too  tumbledown  to  be  used  for  human  habitation 
for  twenty-four  hours.  The  Germans  are  shelling 
the  road  in  front  of  us  (the  battery)  now ;  the 
nearest  burst  about  lOO  yards  away,  but  they 


BRICK  BEDS  !  73 

have  gradually  decreased  their  range  and  got 
farther  away  from  us,  evidently  "  searching " 
fire  to  find  out  where  we  are. 

Bang  !  That's  about  the  thirtieth  they've  sent 
over  ;  good  German  money  wasted  !  Here's 
another.  Hooray  !  I  expect  our  reply  will 
come  this  evening,  and,  judging  from  the  golden 
opinions  the  infantry  give  vent  to,  to  each  of  our 
signallers  that  go  there  nightly,  our  firing  is 
jolly  effective.  A  farm-house  roof  has  just  been 
bent  in  by  another  of  their  shells  ;  they're  getting 
spiteful,  and  there  will  be  more  shell  holes  to  dodge 
to-night  in  the  road  en  route  to  the  infantry. 
As  it  is,  our  risks  of  broken  ankles  are  greater, 
I  imagine,  than  those  of  shell  fire. 

May  Dayy  1915. 

I  have  "  wangled"  another  man's  candle  and 
am  sitting  on  the  floor  of  the  passage  (where  we 
sleep)  in  this  farm-house.  I  have  come  to  the 
conclusion  that  there  is  not  enough  spring  in 
bricks,  and  the  night  is  usually  divided  into 
periods  of  resting  first  one  and  then  another 
portion  of  one's  anatomy  as  it  "  goes  to  sleep  " 
on  the  hard  floor  ;  generally — worse  luck — one's 
head  goes  to  sleep  last  !  I  have  written  a  jingle 
for  the  slackers  of  B.,  who  are  many.  A  little 
mild  and  humorous  sarcasm  won't  hurt   them. 


74  IN  ACTION 

B.  has  done  disgracefully  in  comparison  of  pro- 
portion to  other  cities,  and  the  recruiting  was 
half-hearted  and  so  unlike  the  cheering  spon- 
taneous crowds  of  L.,  B.,  and  M. 

I  had  a  rare  luxury  the  other  day — a  bath  in  a 
bucket  of  water.  It  had  to  be  done  on  the  instal- 
ment plan,  and  I  may  say  that  our  daily  ablu- 
tions, though  meagre,  are  a  source  of  unbounded 
astonishment  to  the  woman  and  her  man  who 
still  stay  here  !  It  is  a  phase  of  daily  life  that 
doesn't  enter  into  their  domestic  economy,  and 
for  anyone  to  try  and  get  clean  when  they  will 
presently  be  as  dirty  again  is  mild  but  innocent 
foolishness.  Madame  certainly  does  wipe  her 
hands  on  her  soiled  apron  before  bringing  you 
half  a  franc's  worth  of  butter  in  the  palm  of  her 
hand,  but  whether  with  the  object  of  cleaning  the 
apron  or  the  hands  we  have  never  yet  been  able 
to  determine.  From  the  state  of  the  butter, 
however,  expert  opinion  leans  towards  the  former. 
Monsieur — but  I  hardly  like  to  tell  you  of  it — 
(hand  the  letter  over  to  H.  to  read  !) — Monsieur 
does  not  wear  braces,  but  there  is  a  button  of 
tremendous  responsibilities  which  just  keeps  his 
bifurcated  garment  hooked  round  his  hips.  He 
works  hard  with  a  flail ;  we  look  on  shaking  with 
apprehension.  I  know  it  will  happen  one  day. 
Apart  from  that,  they  flourish,  as  they  charge 
"  Inglis  soldats  "  very  firm  prices  on  the  con- 


A  RESTLESS  NIGHT  75 

stantly  reiterated  principle,  "  You  plenty  money, 
me  nix."  Yes,  heaps  of  it,  my  good  woman, 
one  shilling  and  twopence  halfpenny  a  day — 
highly  skilled  labour  at  that  ! 

12.30.  Like  an  ass  I  brought  in  some  straw 
for  a  pillow  instead  of  being  satisfied  with  my 
knobbly  haversack  ;  the  consequence  is  I  have 
spent  the  last  five  minutes  killing  small  beetles 
and  weird  flies  that  can  only  exist  in  this  insani- 
tary country.  Now  for  the  rest  of  the  night  my 
imagination  will  play  more  havoc  with  me  than 
all  the  beetles  and  flies  in  a  stack.  I  wish  I 
hadn't  noticed  the  things.  Talking  of  creeping 
things,  we  have  Saxons  and  Bavarians  opposite 
us  just  now.  About  a  fortnight  ago,  when  they 
were  being  relieved  last,  it  is  on  record  that  they 
put  up  a  notice  on  one  of  their  front  trenches  : 
"  The  Prussian  Guard  are  relieving  us  ;  give  them 
Hel  (igoland)."  The  British  Tommy,  always 
willing  to  oblige,  gave  them  what  was  good  for 
them.  N.B. — No  more  straw  for  me  !  To  think 
that  one  man  is  responsible  for  all  this  business, 
beetly  straw  and  all.  I  feel  like  uttering  the 
words  of  Caliban  (who,  too,  lived  in  a  water- 
logged land) :  "  All  the  infections  that  the  sun 
sucks  up,  from  bogs,  fens,  flats,  on  Kaiser  fall, 
and  make  him  by  inch-meal  a  disease  !  " 
Caliban  was  a  loathly  person,  but  his  opinion 
and  feeling  towards  Prospero  just  about  hits 
F 


76  IN  ACTION 

off  mine  to  His  Imperial  Majesty  Blood  and  Iron 
of  Hohenzollern. 

May  1st,  1915. 

So  many  thanks  for  the  parcel  of  books,  papers, 
and  food,  one  of  the  good  old  wholesome  tea- 
cakes.  The  tongue  is  going  to  be  kept  for  to- 
morrow's dinner,  when  we  eight  signallers  are 
going  to  have  a  beanfeast.  We  caught  a  cabbage 
to-day,  a  sturdy,  tough  old  thing  of  last  year's 
hatching,  and  boiled  it — the  first  green  food  since 
September  last  !  But  it  was  not  a  success,  and  the 
stalk  part  even  refused  to  be  cut  by  knives  when 
cooked.  But  we  get  such  a  howling  lot  of  fun  out 
of  these  and  similar  absurdities  of  present-day 
life  that  it  was  worth  the  trouble.  From  your 
letter,  I  fear  you  are  worrying  about  me  and  about 
C.  when  he  gets  abroad.  He  certainly  must  be 
careful,  as  he  is  an  officer,  but  we  are  as  safe  as 
houses  here,  and  perhaps  that  is  a  bad  simile  in 
Belgium,  where  houses  are  razed  to  the  earth  ; 
but,  at  any  rate,  we  are  so  well  concealed  that 
the  Germans  can't  find  out  our  exact  whereabouts 
though  we  pot  away  at  them,  and  have  to-day 
made  their  trenches  very  comfortless  to  live  in. 
We  are  just  having  a  holiday  in  gorgeous  weather 
with  just  a  soupgon  of  excitement  in  it.  I  only 
tremble  to  think  what  our  rate  of  income  tax 


AN  IMPROMPTU  CONCERT  -j-j 

will  be  when  we  return.  What  a  magnifi- 
cently energetic  and  disciplined  nation  we  shall 
be  after  it  ;  we  were  fast  sinking  into  the  ener- 
vating sloth  and  love  of  peace  that  brought 
goodness  knows  how  many  Empires  to  pot — 
see  if  I  know  them  !  !  !  Assyria,  Greece,  Rome, 
Egypt,  or  does  the  latter  come  in  the  middle  ? 
So  do  the  things  I  learnt  at  your  knee  come 
rolling  back  at  you  from  a  flippant  offspring — 
to  cheer  you  up  ! ! !  Anyhow,  I  am  well  and  as 
happy  as  it  is  possible  to  be  without  my  little 
better  half.  I  have  had  a  grand  plethora  of 
letters  the  last  two  days,  and  papers  galore,  but 
I  always  like  those  you  send  ;  it  is  nice  to  see 
the  stately  old  Times  occasionally,  so  dignified 
in  style  and  free  from  the  heart-failure  headlines 
and  general  racy  self-advertisement  that  charac- 
terizes the  Mail — your  pet  Anathema  Maranatha. 
To-night  we  signallers  have  had  a  little  sing- 
song. As  it  was  raining  we  got  a  fire  together  in  a 
wee  outhouse — no  fires,  of  course,  allowed  in  the 
open  or  any  lighted  windows — and  pegged  away 
at  "  Annie  Laurie  "  and  other  old  ballads,  not 
to  mention  coon  songs  and  ragtime,  finishing  up 
that  section  of  the  programme  with  "  Rule, 
Britannia,"  and  all  the  Allies'  National  Anthems 
that  we  could  remember.  Then  came  the  Nunc 
Dimittis,  an  old  camp  favourite,  "  Pleasant  are 
Thy  courts  above,"  and  the  "  Can  a  woman's 


78  IN  ACTION 

tender  care"  hymn,  which,  when  we  suddenly 
broke  out  into  the  other  day  in  parts,  laid  out 
the  woman  of  the  farm  (who  lives  here  still) 
in  tears.  I  can't  honestly  say  we  remembered 
all  the  words,  but  the  rendering  was  fervent  for 
all  that,  as  the  hymns  probably  presented  eight 
different  pictures  of  home  !  And  the  eight  men 
concerned  (an  unkempt,  ill-dressed,  rummy  lot 
of  beggars  we  looked,  too,  in  the  half-light  of  the 
fire)  as  in  duty  bound  finished  up  with  "  God  Save 
the  King,"  so  that  if  His  Majesty  is  given  to 
mental  telepathy  he  must  have  heard  a  raucous 
noise  at  lo  p.m.,  May  Day,  1915. 

May  yd,  1915. 

I  have  had  one  or  two  exciting  days,  and  nights 
too,  wire  mending  within  the  last  week,  as  we 
have  had  some  heavy  shelling  in  our  neighbour- 
hood that  has  smashed  a  lot  of  wires  and  totally 
destroyed  a  small  village.  We  have  had  to  get 
a  new  observing  station,  as  the  old  one  became 
too  "  unhealthy."  But  we  are  so  well  hidden 
they  can't  find  our  exact  spot,  and  can  only  waste 
thousands  of  pounds  searching  for  the  most  part 
with  H.E.  (high  explosive  shell),  which  not  only 
blows  off  the  end  of  the  shell  and  spreads  the 
bullets  in  a  cone  like  ordinary  shrapnel,  but  it 
blows  the  shell  itself  into  atoms  and  the  direction 


AN  UNEXPLODED  SHELL  79 

of  burst  Is  backwards  as  well  as  forwards,  so  they 
are  more  uncomfortable  than  the  others.  A  shell 
has  just  this  minute  fallen  twenty  yards  from  our 
battery  without  exploding,  where  it  will  be  left 
to  cool  its  heels  for  a  bit. 


CHAPTER  VIII 

THE    signallers'    DAY 

May  ist,  1915.  1.4s  a.m. 
I  don't  think  I  have  ever  got  up  so  early  in 
the  morning  to  write  !  I  have  not  long  been 
roused  for  my  spell  of  telephone  duty,  and  am 
of!  again  at  3  a.m.  This  is  at  the  farm-house 
exchange,  where  we  are  connected  with  our  guns 
and  other  batteries  and  regiments,  this  being 
one  of  the  jobs,  as  well  as  going  to  the  infantry 
trench  headquarters  (from  which  I  got  home  at 
8  p.m.  last  night)  and  the  observing  stations. 
When  not  doing  any  of  these  signaller's  duties 
we  do  a  turn  on  the  guns  as  a  "  gun  number  " 
and  help  to  send  "  plenty  souvenir  pour  les 
Allemands."  The  last  two  days  T.  and  I  have 
had  some  rather  exciting  wire-mending  in  day- 
light. It  is  good  fun,  the  only  drawback  being 
the  weight  of  the  wire  reel  apparatus  and  the 
telephone  instrument ;  the  latter  is  for  tapping 
in  to  make  sure  both  ends  of  a  wire  are  in  com- 
munication with  one  another,  or  to  find  who  is 
at  the  end  of  a  wire  that  appears  derelict.     It  has 

80 


HIDDEN  "BATTERY  FLASHES"  8i 

been  lovely  weather  for  a  fortnight  and  is  now 
very  hot.  Flags,  of  course,  we  have  not  used 
since  we  have  been  out  here ;  to  do  so  would 
both  give  away  positions  and  also  ask  for  bullets. 
So  far  the  enemy  have  been  unable  to  get  the 
range  or  exact  position  of  our  guns,  they  are  so 
well  concealed,  though  they  know  we  are  here- 
abouts by  the  direction  of  our  fire  and  the 
contour  of  the  ground,  and  search  occasionally 
with  their  shells.  When  one  of  their  planes  are 
about  none  of  our  batteries  fire  that  are  in  its 
visual  range,  so  that  it  cannot  note  the  position 
of  the  "  battery  flashes,"  and  all  the  men  go 
underground,  so  that  the  country  just  presents 
a  peaceful,  innocent  look  ;  as  soon  as  the  plane 
is  driven  off  by  one  of  ours,  which  usually  happens 
pretty  soon,  we  pop  up  again  like  rabbits  and 
let  fly  at  them  again  if  we  had  been  firing  at  the 
time. 

I  have  just  interrupted  myself  to  ring  up  all 
round  and  see  if  everyone  is  O.K.  at  2  a.m.  Now, 
having  a  wire  from  the  switchboard  on  to  one 
ear,  I  can  hear  all  sorts  of  weird  Morse  calls 
going  on  from  other  regiments  and  batteries  to 
one  another ;  we  do  the  same  little  game  every 
half  hour.  Occasionally  you  hear  someone 
"  tapping  in  "  from  somewhere  in  the  open  where 
he  is  following  a  broken  wire — a  series  of  dots, 
and  then  a  faint  voice  :   "  That  the  Glorsters  ? " 


82  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

Second  weak  voice  (probably  from  induction 
on  a  crossing  wire) :  "  Now  !  You'm  on  the 
Wurricks."  First  weak  voice  :  "  Must  be  on  the 
wrung  wire  then."  Me  :  "  Who  do  you  want, 
Gloster  Artillery  or  Gloster  Infantry  ?  "  and  so  on. 
Thus  does  the  British  Army  keep  in  touch  in  a 
war  where  there  are  more  men  engaged  than 
ever  before  in  the  history  of  the  world,  and  yet 
as  a  rule  you  can  gaze  over  the  landscape  and 
not  see  twenty  soldiers  together  in  a  survey  of 
two  square  miles.  It  makes  us  laugh  sometimes  ; 
we  gaze  at  one  another — men  with  hair  clipped 
short — earning  is.  2jd.  per  diem,  and  any  one 
of  us  would  give  a  sovereign  to  be  able  to 
have  the  cold  morning  tub  again.  Rummy  war 
— this  ! 

We  signallers  do  our  own  cooking,  as  our 
work  renders  meal-times  somewhat  shifting  and 
irregular,  the  "  off  duty  "  men  usually  doing  the 
job  under  a  heavy  fire  of  criticism.  There  is 
generally  some  particular  catastrophe  each  day 
of  the  week  at  breakfast — the  only  meal  we 
trouble  to  cook  for — such  as  the  frying-pan  and 
all  the  bacon  therein  catching  fire,  or  the  upsetting 
of  the  whole  lot  into  the  ashes — for  we  cook  in  a 
bucket  in  the  yard.  But  through  it  all,  unfailing 
in  quantity,  though  various  in  quality,  is  our 
chief  condiment — dirt — and  very  palatable  it  is, 
too,  when  you  have  cooked  it  yourself  and  have, 


A  SIGNALLER  "CHEF"  83 

so  to  speak,  a  fatherly  interest  in  it.  I  am 
becoming  a  marvel  at  cooking,  and  can  frizzle 
meat  and  do  what  the  woman  calls  potarto  fritz 
(potato  fritters)  with  less  dirt  in  the  mixture  than 
any,  and  fifty  per  cent,  less  than  the  regimental 
cooks  !  Now  don't  laugh  if  I  tell  you  that  when 
the  veto  is  withdrawn  I  am  going  to  bathe  in  a 
Jack  Johnson  hole,  of  which  there  are  hundreds 
round  here,  anything  from  six  to  thirty  feet  in 
diameter  and  four  to  six  feet  deep,  and  full  of 
clear  water  that  has  drained  in.  At  present, 
owing  to  our  bodies  not  being  khaki-coloured, 
and  there  being  a  lot  of  planes  about,  we  are 
not  yet  allowed  to  do  so.  I  regret  to  say  that 
gun  fire  has  stopped  my  little  wrist  watch.  I 
fear  the  spring  is  broken,  a  real  loss  to  me  for  its 
association  and  utility. 


THE    GRAVES    IN    THE    WOOD 

There  is  a  hallowed  spot  in  Belgium — one  of 
many  such  in  this  land  of  death — through  which 
two  soldiers  chanced  to  pass.  It  is  a  peaceful,  sweet 
smelling  pine-wood  on  a  low  hill,  carpeted  with  fir 
cones  and  pine  needles,  draped  with  green  shrubs 
and  undergrowth  and  ferns,  with  here  and  there  a 
clump  of  violets,  or  ragged  robin  to  give  a  tinge 
of  colour  ;  and  on  this  lovely  hot  spring  morning, 


84  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

with  the  songs  of  thousands  of  birds  ringing 
through  the  branches,  the  whole  atmosphere 
is  redolent  of  one  of  the  gentler  slopes  of  North 
Wales.  But  there  are  signs  of  horror  in  this 
wood  that  are  not  to  be  met  with,  thank  God, 
in  Wales — lanes  and  gaps  blasted  by  shells 
through  the  trees,  leaving  jagged  stumps  and 
poles  bleeding  their  aromatic  resin — bayonet 
gashes  and  bullet-torn  holes  in  the  trunks,  here 
and  there  rifle  pits  and  observation  dug-outs  half 
filled  with  water,  here  and  there  a  clip  of  cartridges 
or  a  torn  piece  of  clothing,  the  whole  telling  a 
tale  of  the  awful  scenes  that  took  place  here  not 
many  months  ago.  Yet  in  the  midst  of  it  all, 
in  the  thickest  part  of  the  wood,  are  some  fifty 
graves  covered  now  with  ever-growing  soft  green 
moss  and  a  profusion  of  wild  flowers,  planted 
by  rough  hands. 

Here  lie  men  of  three  dialects,  but  whose  last 
aim  was  a  common  one — men  of  the  Royal 
Warwickshire  Regiment,  the  Suffolk  Regiment, 
and  the  Seaforth  Highlanders.  I  venture  to 
think  that  those  whose  honoured  dead  are  lying 
there  could  wish  them  no  lovelier  spot,  conse- 
crated perhaps  not  by  the  Church,  but  by  the 
glories  of  the  surroundings  and  the  sacrifice  of 
those  who  sleep  there. 

The  soldiers  had  hardly  finished  reading  the 
inscriptions  on  the  neatly  made  wooden  crosses 


THE  GRAVES  IN  THE  WOOD  85 

when  the  woods  became  once  more  a  raging 
inferno  under  heavy  shell  fire,  brambles  crashing 
down,  and  splintered  shell  and  shrapnel  bullets 
whining  and  whirring  overhead,  or  ripping  scars 
of  earth  up  before  burying  themselves  deep  and 
soon.  One  hundred  and  forty-four  shells  burst 
over  and  in  the  wood  of  a  few  hundred  feet 
square,  while  the  two  living  lie  down  side  by  side 
with  the  dead,  sheltered  in  some  small  degree  by 
their  graves,  until  after  an  hour  of  wellnigh 
unbearable  racket  and  strain  the  shelling  stops — 
no  further  sound  is  heard,  those  birds  that  are 
not  blown  to  atoms  being  terrified  into  silence. 
Many  of  the  flowers  on  the  graves  are  battered 
to  pulp  or  torn  wholesale  out  of  the  ground,  but 
by  a  miracle  the  two  are  unhurt ;  and  the  dead 
sleep  on  in  peace  beyond  the  power  of  hurt — 
their  duty  done,  their  oath  to  their  King  faith- 
fully kept,  their  most  precious  possession  given 
up  for  others.  "  They  have  done  what  they 
could." 

This  wood  with  the  awkward  halting  name  will 
one  day  be  the  loving  pilgrimage  of  a  few  ;  let 
us  hope  it  will  not  become  the  excursion  of  the 
thousand,  clamorous,  with  tightly  clasped  franc 
in  hand,  for  admittance  to  gaze  with  morbid 
interest  and  loud-voiced  comment  upon  the  steel- 
riven  wood  and  the  quiet  resting-places  of  those 
who  gave  their  lives  to  gain  it. 


86  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

May  lyth,  1915. 
There  is  such  heaps  to  write  about  and  yet  so 
little  that  the  censor  would  pass  that  it  seems 
to  me  all  my  letters  must  be  alike.  Things 
are  going  fairly  well  out  here  the  last  day  or 
two,  though  strange  to  say  our  bit  of  front  that 
we  are  firing  on  has  not  been  so  active ;  but  we 
all  have  a  feeling  that  sooner  or  later,  between 
now  and  Christmas,  there  will  be  an  "  almighty 
bust  up."  In  the  meantime  we  and  the  enemy 
shell  one  another  in  a  friendly  way,  and  rifle 
fire  is  more  or  less  continuous  from  dusk  to  dawn, 
during  which  time  it  is  unfortunately  the  business 
of  us  signallers  to  mend  broken  wires,  and  other- 
wise barge  around;  but  it  is  great  fun,  and  we  all 
enjoy  it  really  and  generally  feel  sick  of  it  if  we 
are  on  battery  duty  and  therefore  not  free  to 
go  out  as  linesmen.  Four  of  us  had  a  jaunt  the 
other  day  right  up  to  the  reserve  trenches  of  the 
S.  Regiment  (whoa!  boy,  I  nearly  gave  it  away 
then),  where  our  wire  connecting  the  infantry 
trenches  with  us  had  got  broken  by  shell  or  rifle 
fire.  We  were  on  the  game  from  9  p.m.  to  2  a.m. 
the  night  before  last,  May  15th  and  i6th,  during 
which  time  a  lively  fusillade  was  going  on  between 
our  trenches  and  "  them  germings,"  making  it 
very  unhealthy  for  us,  as  bullets  were  whining 
about  all  the  while  and  crashing  through  the  hedge 
behind  us,  and  once  when  we  were  lying  down  and 


MENDING  BROKEN  WIRES  87 

hopping  in  to  a  wire  to  see  who  it  belonged  to,  a 
star-shell  went  up,  and  I  suppose  some  keen-eyed 
beggar  spotted  us,  because  five  rounds  rapid 
came  just  over  our  heads,  so  we  moved  on  another 
twenty  yards  !  The  difficulty  was  to  find  out 
which  was  our  wire  out  of  about  eight  that  were 
going  across  country  in  our  direction,  but  we 
spotted  it  after  tapping  in  three  times.  We 
found  we  could  get  in  communication  with  the 
battery  but  not  with  the  trenches,  which  meant 
the  break  was  still  beyond  us — it  was,  in  fact, 
beyond  the  reserve  trench  over  which  we  tumbled 
— after  being  challenged  by  a  very  young  officer 
very  astonished  to  see  us  there.  The  beastly 
wire  then  ran  along  a  hedge,  but  too  high  to  hold 
on  to  and  follow  with  the  hand;  but  at  last 
we  came  to  about  fifty  yards  of  loose  wire  coiled 
at  the  bottom  of  a  tree  with  one  end  going  up 
into  the  tree  and  off  again  in  our  right  direction. 
Some  careful  but  foohsh  idiot,  seeing  the  broken 
wire,  had  pulled  it  all  in,  and  the  other  end  was 
fifty  yards  away,  but  in  which  direction  across 
the  field  we  hadn't  the  remotest  notion — anyhow, 
it  took  two  hours  to  find,  any  number  of  bullets 
dodging  about  at  such  a  pace  that  constituted  a 
danger  to  the  public  !  A  man  named  C.  was 
makino:  a  reef  knot  in  the  wire  while  another,  F., 
and  myself  held  the  ends,  when  one  vicious 
beggar  plunked  into   a  tree  that  we  were  all 


88  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

leaning  against.  I  reckon  war  ought  to  be 
carried  on  by  means  of  bladders  on  sticks;  it 
would  then  be  much  safer  and  pleasanter  for  all 
parties  concerned  !  The  best  of  it  was  that  we 
called  at  a  battered  farmhouse — the  infantry- 
headquarters — and  saw  their  signaller  sergeant, 
who  is  supposed  to  know  the  directions  and 
positions  of  all  wires  leading  to  his  cellar ;  but 
we  couldn't  get  him  to  come  out  with  us,  as  they 
were  expecting  an  active  night  in  the  trenches. 
So  we  felt  it  our  duty  to  pull  his  leg  loud  and  long 
over  the  telephone  the  next  morning.  I  don't 
think  he  was  funky  really,  but  only  wanted  to 
turn  in  and  get  a  good  night's  rest,  as  he  had  been 
on  a  similar  job  the  previous  night.  Coming 
back,  still  pitch  dark,  we  nearly  fell  over  some 
men  in  the  road — about  half  a  mile  back,  they 
covered  in  two  rows  about  loo  yards — poor 
beggars  of  engineers  who  were  trying  to  get  an 
hour  or  two's  rest  before  dawn  after  spending 
the  night  digging  and  barbed  wire  fencing,  etc. 
But  for  the  two  sentries  at  each  end,  they  looked 
for  all  the  world  like  so  many  orderly  corpses. 
Now  and  then  one  would  sit  up  and  try  and  cover 
his  feet  with  his  overcoat  or  turn  round  and 
mutter  something  in  his  sleep — one  whom  we 
kicked  against  muttered  to  some  purpose;  but 
for  the  most  part  they  lay  there  almost  invisible 
and  in  ghostly  silence,  a  most  pathetic  picture. 


A  CONTRAST  IN  SOUNDS  89 

Wherever  we  came  upon  such  parties  or  in  the 
trenches  the  same  old  formula  had  to  be  gone 
through.  We  should  be  stopped  sharply  about 
ten  yards  before  we  got  to  the  sentry.    "Halt, 

who  goes  there?" — "G artillery  linesmen" 

— "  Advance  one  and  be  reckernized^^ — "  Right 
oh!  pass,  four  of  yer."     And  so  we  filed  past, 
an   Oxford   man,    a   fine-art   photographer,    an 
engineer,  and  a  bank  cashier,  thundering  thank- 
ful to  have  whole  skins  still,  and  able  to  earn 
another  is.  2jd.  from  the  Government  by  living 
another   day   through.     Rum   world,   isn't   it  ! 
We  were  discussing  on  our  way  back  what  would 
happen  if  the  ordinary  Regular  soldier  stood  out 
for   an   eight-hours'   day  and   overtime   or  one 
and  a  half  pay  for  nights  and  Sundays  as  his 
beery  civilian  confreres  do  !     As  we  got  back 
to  our  position  (about  a  two-mile  walk)  it  was 
just  getting  lighter,  and  a  nightingale  and  a  lark 
were  yelHng  at  the  top  of  their  voices,  a  lovely 
contrast  to  the  dull,  thunder-like  rumble  of  guns 
that  has  never  ceased  much  for  days  on  right  and 
left,  and  often  develops  into  an  ear-splitting  pan- 
demonium on  our  own  front,  and  also  the  noise 
of  the  rifle  fire  in  the  trenches,  which  is  exactly 
like  two  very  erratic  carters  piling  bricks  up  on  a 
stack  from  a  cart;  then  a  fusillade,  one  carter 
loses  his  temper  and    knocks   the  whole  stack 
down,   then   they  begin   building   it   up  again; 


90  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

finally  they  are  satisfied  with  plonking  a  brick 
down  every  three  seconds,  then  a  rush  again, 
then  a  fusillade  again,  then  silence  for  perhaps 
three  minutes,  then  through  the  whole  gamut  all 
through  the  night.  They  are  at  it  now  while  I 
write,  with  the  occasional  accompaniment  of  a 
Maxim  gun,  which  will  rap  out  five  or  ten  or 
twenty  rounds  at  the  rate  of  666  per  minute, 
and  then  remain  in  sulky  silence  for  an  hour. 
"  It  would  be  funny  if  it  were  not  so  sad,"  as  our 
Brigadier  used  to  say  of  any  mistakes  made — 
for  they  manage  to  maim  or  kill  a  man  here  and 
there.  Well,  I  fear  I  have  made  an  ordinary 
incident  into  an  extraordinarily  long  yarn.  But 
I  like  to  give  you  the  real  thing  with  its  local 
colour,  but  unexaggerated  and  free  from  the 
everlasting  journahstic  blather  that  spoils  the 
descriptive  efforts  of  so  many  of  the  younger 
journalists — who  are  usually  allowed  to  come  up 
and  describe  a  battle  that  is  going  on  ten  miles 
in  front  of  them  !  But  I  see  the  latest  gag  of  the 
older  journaHsts  is  to  write  long  articles  under 
their  photographs  and  have  themselves  described 
as  "  Mr,  VV.,  the  greatest  military  authority  and 
critic."  Or  "  Mr.  F.,  whose  knowledge  of  naval 
matters  is  unsurpassed."  Probably  you'd  find 
that  Mr.  F.  couldn' t  tell  you  the  difference  between 
a  picket  boat  and  an  officer's  cutter,  and  Mr.  W. 
would  confound  a  surcingle-pad  with  a   trail- 


SOME  WAR  PICTURE  "FAKES"  91 

spade  gear,  or  imagine  a  drag-rope  was  the  same 
as  a  throat-lash.  Probably  their  knowledge  of 
strategy  and  tactics — which  they  so  finely  criti- 
cize— would  be  as  exhaustive  as  their  technical 
knowledge. 

1  myself  have  seen  a  photo — lyingly  alleged 
to  be  "  somewhere  in  France  with  our  gallant 
gunners" — obviously  taken  on  Salisbury  Plain 
at  any  rate  months  before  the  war,  as  the  harness 
on  the  horses  is  such  as  has  not  been  used  during 
the  war,  but  was  discarded,  I  believe,  in  autumn, 
191 3.  But  it  doesn't  matter,  for  the  men  in  the 
picture  are  probably  out  in  the  war  with  the  same 
guns  and  horses. 

I  am  awfully  sorry  to  have  to  use  such  old  and 
grubby  bits  of  paper,  but  I  am  at  the  end  of  my 
tether,  and  unless  some  comes  to-morrow,  as  I 
expect  it  will,  I  shall  have  to  write  my  letters 
by  picking  the  required  words  out  of  the  news- 
paper, cutting  them  out  and  numbering  them  in 
order,  which  would  be  a  tedious  job  !  I  was 
delighted  to  hear  from  H.  the  other  day  ;  I 
wonder  if  he  saw  any  of  the  Suez  fighting.  I  also 
hear  C.  is  now  on  the  "  Plain,"  and  under  orders 
for  France  at  an  unknown  date ;  he  may  be  here 
now;  how  jolly  it  would  be  if  we  met.  Better 
still  if  his  regiment  came  into  action  in  front  of 
us ;  we  should  be  supporting  them  then.  I  wish, 
however,  he  wasn't  an  officer,  as  they  simply 


92  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

throw  their  lives  away  here  to  ensure  that  any 
given  object  is  successfully  carried  out  or  any 
trench  taken  that  is  ordered  to  be  taken.  Never, 
I  should  think,  were  armies  better  led,  certainly 
never  with  so  little  training  and  experience,  and 
I  hope  it  will  be  able  to  be  said  that  never  were 
officers  better  followed.  But  time  will  show. 
The  last  three  days  have  been  rotten  weather 
for  the  war — rain  nearly  all  day  and  night — but 
it  had  been  lovely  for  three  weeks  prior  to  that. 

I  have  written  a  few  verses  for  recruiting  and 
had  them  put  in  the  W.  D.  P. ;  probably  H.  has 
sent  you  a  copy.  The  following  I  have  rattled 
off  to-night  and  am  sending  to  the  same  people  : 

QUIT   YOU    LIKE    MEN   ! 

'Twas  the  voice  of  the  laggard,  I   heard  him 

complain, 
"They've  plastered  the  walls  with  those  posters 

again — 
'  Your  comrades  are  calling' — '  Your  life's  not 

your  own ' — 
Why  the  devil  can't  they  leave  a  fellow  alone  ? 
I'm  howled  at  from  hoarding,  housewall,  hedge 

and  ditch 
By   King    and    by    Country,   by   Belgium   and 

'  Kitch.' 


QUIT  YOU  LIKE  MEN!  93 

Why  should  I  leave  my  job — mess  about  with  a  gun 
And  be  maimed,  just  as  likely  as  not,  by  the  Hun  ? 
Besides,  just  consider  the  home  ties  I've  got. 
Let  the  street  loafers  go,  they're  the  men  for  the 

spot. 
The  soldier's  profession's  for  loafers  and  earls. 
They  want  chaps  like  me  to  look  after  the  girls." 

'Twas  the  voice  of  his  Country  that  answered  : 

"  I  warn 
You,  the  '  MAY '  of  to-night  shall  be  '  must  '  with 

the  dawn. 
Thou  fool  !   offer  now,  lest  in  scorn  I  demand 
The  skill  of  your  brain  and  the  might  of  your 

hand. 
Nay!  your  only  possession  of  worth  gladly  give — 
Your  life,  so  your  death  cause  your  Country 

to  live. 
Behold  your  inheritance  1     Whence  has  it  come  ? 
By  the  might  of  the  men  who  have  followed  the 

drum  ; 
An  Empire  ruling  one-fourth  of  mankind  ; 
Your  fathers  died  for  her,  you  follow  behind ; 
In  your  keeping  they  left  her.      Your  fathers 

whose  bones 
In  every  land  lie  strewn  as  thick  as  the  stones. 
Is  their  sacrifice  made  and  their  blood  shed  in  vain  ? 
Then  the  brand's  on  your  forehead — the  hall- 
mark of  Cain." 


94  THE  SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

Now  no  more  this  journey.  I  must  turn  in  as 
I  am  on  duty  at  6  a.m.  to-morrow. 

May  lythy  1915. 

J.  wanted  to  know  when  we  get  our  food, 
letters,  etc.  A  gunner  fetches  the  letters  from 
the  Field  P.O.  daily,  and  we  get  them  about 

4  p.m.     Parcels  come  with  the  food  stores  about 

5  p.m.,  when  the  general  supply  wagon  and  water 
come  up  by  a  roundabout  way.  They  used  to 
come  at  night  along  a  road  in  full  view  of  German 
observers,  but  now  the  back  lanes  have  been 
mended  they  can  get  here  by  two  or  three  devious 
ways  under  shelter  of  the  slight  rising  ground 
between  us  and  the  enemy.  They  waste  a  lot 
of  ammunition  searching  for  us  and  the  other 
batteries.  We  don't  trouble  so  much  about  their 
guns,  but  knock  their  trenches  about  in  fine  style. 

As  for  food,  the  gunners  who  are  in  their 
dug-outs  by  day  and  sleep  in  a  barn  at  night 
have  it  cooked  mid-day  (hot  tea  morning  and 
night)  and  brought  to  the  gun  position,  where 
they  line  up  to  receive  it  in  mess  tins.  We  sig- 
nallers sleep  in  a  passage  floor  in  the  farm  where 
we  have  all  our  wires  (more  in  number  than  the 
hairs  of  my  head)  and  do  our  own  cooking  in  an 
outhouse  where  Madame  has  the  pigwash  tub ! 
the  latter  being  most  useful  and  saves  us  digging 


PAVEMENT  OF   BULLY  BEEF  95 

a  waste  pit  for  scraps.  Poor  pigs — tea-leaves, 
bacon  fat,  biscuit  and  jam  all  go  towards  the 
local  dairy-fed  pork.  We  do  little  cooking  now, 
as  we  can't  get  all  the  signallers  together  for  any- 
given  meal,  and  meat  is  often  of  tremendous 
altitude  !  So  we  live  on  tea — bread  and  jam 
and  parcels — rarely  a  day  passes  without  one  of 
us  or  more  getting  a  parcel  to  "  whack"  round. 
Signallers  on  distant  or  night  duty  take  a  loaf 
of  bread  (which  we  get  four  days  out  of  six)  and 
jam.  Bully  beef  is  taboo.  You  cannot  get 
anyone  to  eat  it — one  portion  of  our  trenches 
that  I  have  seen  has  a  pavement  of  unused  bully 
tins,  and  when  sleeping  in  the  cellar  at  the 
infantry  headquarters  we  have  all  used  a  parapet 
of  them  to  keep  rats  and  beetles  off  our  bed. 
The  cellar  is  pitch  dark,  5  ft.  by  11  ft.  and  about 
4  ft.  8  in.  in  height.  The  outer  part,  which  is 
palatial,  is  used  as  the  telephone  room.  I  can 
stand  upright  in  it  and  just  touch  the  ceiling. 
This  is  about  8  ft.  by  14  ft.,  and  nine  men  sleep 
there,  two  being  always  on  duty  at  the  telephone. 
Great  spree ;  whatever  time  of  day  or  night  you 
wake  up  you  can  always  hear  messages  going 
through,  and  generally  a  medley  from  both 
operators,  unless  it  is  in  Morse. 

First  Op. — "  What  !      'ave    they    copped      old 
Charloi  ?  " 


96  THE   SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

Second  Op. — "  Yessir,  you  say  you  want  the 
rachin  (ration)  party  to  coom  along  at 
wance  ?  " 

First  Op. — "  Copped  'im  in  the  arm,  have  they  ?  " 
Pohwer  ole  Char " 

Second  Op. — "  What's  that,  sir  ?  Oh,  yer 
bhghter,  I  thought  you  was  the  Captin. 
What's  that  ?  Shake  oop  yer  insterment 
— ah  said,  shake  it  oop.  That's  better  ! 
Them  rachins  abeen  sent  alung  a  hour 
ago.     Speckt  a  shell's  took  them." 

First  Op. — "What  time  are  they  bring-ging 
gim  in  ?  "  etc.,  etc.; 

till  you  drop  off  again  glad  that  you  aren't  one 
of  the  ration  party  or  a  casualty  in  the  trenches. 
Get  up  just  before  dawn  when  it  is  darkest 
or  when  a  mist  is  about  and  you  see  the  casualties 
brought  into  the  stable  for  rough  dressing  ;  or, 
a  grim  and  terrible  thing  to  watch  at  3  a.m.,  as 
I  did — the  sewing  up  in  a  blanket  and  carrying 
out  to  the  grave,  always  ready  dug  just  outside, 
but  unapproachable  in  daytime.  The  regimental 
doctors  are  a  fine  set  of  men  ;  most  of  their 
work  comes  at  night,  and  the  stretcher  men  are  a 
very  decent  lot,  and  will  always  offer  the  artillery 
signaller  some  hot  tea,  which  they  seem  to  keep 
going  day  and  night ;  good  stuff,  strong  mother's 
meeting  sort  of  tea  with  a  lavish  supply  of  sugar 


"  MACONOCHIES  "  AS  SUMPTUOUS  FARE  97 

in  it,  but  it  is  the  drink  and  the  one  we  all  live 
on  here.  Sometimes  we  take  them  an  tgg  or  two 
from  our  position  and  exchange  it  for  one  of  their 
Maconochies  (issued  only  to  infantry,  a  thing  to 
dream  of) — slumps  of  meat,  vegetable  and  gravy 
all  cooked  together  in  a  tin  that  only  needs 
heating  and  opening;  and  Solomon  in  all  his 
glory  never  had  such  a  meal. 

We  had  another  cricket  match  against  a 
battery  near  by  of  new  Regulars  and  beat  them 
6j — 32  ;  the  plane  whistle  went  in  the  middle 
and  we  all  had  to  lie  down  where  we  were  for  a 
few  minutes,  but  they  are  rarely  enemy  planes. 

Someone  was  asking  if  we  ever  had  any  ser- 
vices. Barring  the  infantry  graveyard  I  haven't 
seen  a  chaplain  since  we  came  out.  It  would  be 
impossible  for  them  to  visit  or  hold  services 
among  the  scattered  units,  such  as  batteries 
where  men  are  spread  all  over  the  country  in 
forties  or  fifties.  All  they  can  do  is  to  visit 
the  various  field  ambulances  and  hospital 
stations  and  infantry  rest  stations. 

June,  1915. 
For  the  last  six  nights  out  of  seven  I  have  been 
doing  night  w'ork  as  well  as  day,  four  of  them  not 
getting  back  till  1.30  or  2  a.m.  and  one  not  till 
4  a.m.,  and,  of  course,  there  is  nothing  ready  to  eat 
or  drink  and  we  have  to  turn  to  and  cook  anything 


98  THE   SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

we  want  at  dawn  (last  meal  probably  "  brekker  " 
the  day  before),  then  turn  in,  all  standing  on 
mother  earth,  generally  on  duty  again  7  a.m. 
Yesterday  morning  I  got  in  with  a  small  party  of 
six  men  of  whom  I  had  been  in  charge ! ! !  wire 
laying  and  patrolling  at  2.30  a.m.,  so  "  whacked  " 
that  we  were  constantly  tumbling  down  and 
could  hardly  endure  the  weight  of  our  rifles  and 
apparatus.  However,  we  got  four  good  hours' 
sleep  before  battery  duty  next  day,  and  for  my 
part  I  slept  for  an  hour  to-day  instead  of  washing 
during  an  off  duty  time,  and  apart  from  aching 
and  being  tousled  am  as  right  as  a  trivet,  and 
unless  we  get  an  attack  am  looking  forward  to 
six  hours'  sleep  to-night. 

This  night  I  am  talking  about  we  had  rather  a 
spree.  We  seven  had  to  lay  a  wire  to  the  infantry 
and  other  places,  and  during  the  day  got  all  done 
that  could  be  done  out  of  sight  of  the  enemies' 
lines,  leaving  the  last  mile — in  actual  view  of 
their  trenches — to  be  done  at  nightfall.  The 
first  spree  was  laying  it  up  a  short  stretch  of 
"corduroy"  road  about  200  yards,  on  which 
they  lay  and  fire  a  machine  gun  every  night  to 
prevent  us  using  it  for  ration  parties,  etc.  It 
started  with  a  few  rifle  shots — quite  dark,  of 
course — which  we  could  afford  to  ignore,  as  they 
all  seemed  to  be  passing  a  foot  or  so  above  our 
heads;    but   about   half-way  up   the   road   the 


WIRE-LAYING  UNDER  DIFFICULTIES     99 

machine  gun  began  as  the  flares  lit  up  the  road, 

and  we  had  to  fall  flat  and  roll  into  a  ditch  for 

about  twenty  minutes,  leaving  our  reel — about 

3  ft.  high — in  the  middle  of  the  road.     It  doesn't 

sound  heroic,  but  when  on  such  a  job  you  must 

get  the  job  done  at  any  cost,  for  the  safety  of 

the  infantry  depends  upon  the  wires  we  lay  from 

our  guns  to  their  trenches,  as  we  are  in  action 

two  minutes  after  their  call  for  support,  and  to 

go  on  when  a  machine  gun  is  firing  means  every 

man  would  be  riddled  in  the  first  half  minute, 

and  hours  before  another  party  could  carry  on 

the  job.     Then  came  another  awkward  bit  of 

about  800  yards  parallel  to  the  German  trenches 

behind  our  own  and  in  full  view  of  the  former,  as 

they  are  on  higher  ground.     This  took  a  long 

while,  as  every  flare  that  went  up  meant  either 

"  freezing"  perfectly  still  or  falling  flat,  and  we 

had  to  cut  6  ft.  poles  in  places  to  raise  the  wire 

on,  and  on  one  corner  where  we  were  all  seven 

working  on  a  white  piece  of  road  a  flare  went 

up  and  caught  us  and  we  were  spotted.     Luckily 

I  thought  of  telling  the  men  to  move  on  directly 

it  went  out,  because  that  corner  was  peppered 

by  a  machine  gun  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour  after, 

while  we  sat  and  chortled  a  few  yards  away.     If 

the  Germans  are  wily  we  can  beat  them  at  their 

own  tricks.     But  that  is  a  plan  of  theirs,  to  lay 

— in  daytime — machine  guns  or  rifles  on  fixed 


100  THE   SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

tripods  at  visible  bits  of  path,  road,  or  breaks 
in  hedges,  so  that  at  night  they  have  only  to 
press  the  trigger.  This  wire  won't  be  unbroken 
more  than  two  or  three  days,  as  whenever  they 
see  one  through  glasses  they  drop  shells  to 
smash  it,  knowing  the  vital  importance  of  them. 
But  as  two  of  us  have  to  patrol  daily  or  nightly 
every  wire  of  our  own,  we  can  get  the  most 
awkward  one  mended  an  hour  or  so  after  night- 
fall. At  the  end  of  this  800  yards  we  had  to  turn 
in  towards  our  own  trenches,  but  luckily  were 
not  observed,  as  a  hedge  and  farm  hid  us  200 
yards  behind  the  trench  we  wanted,  and  this 
last  bit  two  of  us  managed  to  trundle  across  at 
the  run  without  being  spotted,  and  the  others 
followed  in  twos — the  safest  way.  You  can  bet 
your  respective  boots  we  were  glad  to  return  by 
the  more  roundabout  but  less  exciting  way  of  a 
communication  trench,  and  up  to  the  present  the 
blessed  thing — the  wire — is  still  intact,  and  the 
two  men  who  are  due  to  go  to  the  infantry  to- 
night are  now  patrolling  it  en  route.  I  can  tell 
you  I  was  thumping  glad  to  get  my  party!  back 
without  a  casualty.  One  of  the  most  distressing 
positions  I  can  imagine  is  that — fully  realized 
that  night — of  straining  at  arm's  length  on  tip- 
toe, to  get  a  clove-hitch  knot  of  heavy  wire  on  to 
a  branch  and  to  hear  a  bullet  or  two  cracking  into 
and  bursting  in  the  same  tree.     Evidence  of  my 


"STAND  TO"  loi 

own  ^yes,  as  well  as  ears,  has  shown  the  use  of 
explosive,  as  well  as  expanding  bullets,  by  the 
Germans. 

As  I  have  said  before,  "  We  don't  get  much 
money,  but  we  do  see  life  !  "  It  would  cheer  each 
respective  cockle  of  each  of  your  respective  hearts 
to  hear  how  cheery  everyone  is  in  the  trenches 
and  on  the  guns  and  everywhere  ;  the  infantry 
cheer  and  roar  with  laughter  when  a  shell  bursts 
without  harming  anyone,  and  everyone  is  so  pally 
when  we  go  to  the  trenches  that  we  could  leave 
our  rations  behind  if  we  liked,  as  they  are  always 
willing  to  give  us  theirs  and  make  us  a  can  of  tea, 
and  "  them  artillery  blokes  "  get  on  very  well 
with  the  infantry,  and  so  far  we  have  been  con- 
nected with  and  had  to  support  eleven  regiments, 
Regulars  or  Terriers.  One  of  the  most  gorgeous 
and  thrilling  sounds,  apart  from  hard  artillery 
firing  when  you  become  dotty  with  noise,  is 
being  in  the  trenches  when  the  frequent  "  Stand 
to"  is  given;  we,  of  course,  take  our  part  as 
infantryman  for  the  time,  one  man  on  the  tele- 
phone for  four  hours,  and  the  other  barging 
round  with  a  rifle  off  and  on  for  four  hours  at  a 
time.  When  "  Stand  to  "  is  given,  all  step  up  on 
to  the  little  platform  which  raises  us  high  enough 
to  fire  over  the  parapet,  and  then  if  followed  by 
rapid  fire  a  gorgeous  rippling  crash  of  rifle  fire 
breaks  out  which  goes  on  right  and  left,  and  woe 


102  THE   SIGNALLERS'  DAY 

betide  any  of  "  them  Germins  as  pops  theer'eads 
over  them  parapits,  they  woon  arf  cop  out ! "  I 
shall  always  have  after  this  an  undying  admiration 
for  the  common  or  garden  British  Tommy,  their 
unfailing  cheerfulness,  and  acceptation  of  onerous 
and  dangerous  jobs  as  a  matter  of  course,  and 
the  way  they  have  stuck  the  constant  bombard- 
mentwithoutthehelpof  asingleinspiritingvictory 
to  cheer  them  up.  Of  course  they  grouse  at  times, 
but  never  at  the  work,  officers,  or  danger,  only 
because  this  man  or  that  man  has  not  done  the 
right  thing  for  them  at  home,  in  ParHament,  or 
elsewhere.  And  I  reckon  that  if  we  in  future  see 
a  soldier  drunk  or  otherwise  misbehaving,  we 
shall  do  well  to  remember,  before  sitting  in 
judgment  on  him,  that  if  he  doesn't  hold  his 
present  appetites  in  order,  he  at  any  rate  held 
his  bit  of  parapet  with  jovial  grimness  against 
what  is  still  odds  of  five  to  one.  God  knows  how 
they  stuck  it  through  last  winter  ;  the  odds  then 
were  eight  to  one  and  the  conditions  beyond 
power  of  word  description,  but  of  that  "  con- 
temptible little  army "  few  are  left  to  tell  the 
tale,  and  of  these  still  fewer  who  are  in  posses- 
sion of  health  and  faculties  to  talk  at  all ;  it  is 
a  nightmare  about  which  they  seem  to  be  trying 
to  forget  rather  than  talk  about.  No  more  now  ; 
am  due  to  go  on  duty.  Here's  to  the  British 
infantryman ! 


CHAPTER  IX 

LIFE    IN    THE   TRENCH 

June  Sth,  191 5. 

The  trench  which  was  our  home  for  six  hours 
is  a  German  one,  its  old  front  being  now  the  back. 
It  is  about  seven  feet  deep,  and  in  order  to  fire 
or  look  about  you  step  on  to  a  raised  wooden 
platform,  which  is  just  wide  enough  to  enable  a 
man  to  walk  along,  or  for  two  to  pass  sideways, 
and  at  the  back  (also  parapeted  for  high  explo- 
sive shells)  and  underneath  are  the  dug-outs. 
Ours  was  four  feet  long  (for  two  men),  four  feet 
broad,  and  about  eighteen  inches  to  two  feet 
high,  and  once  laid  down  one's  head  touched  the 
back  of  the  dug-out  and  one's  feet  the  opposite 
side  of  the  trench,  causing  much  tripping  up 
for  men  passing  and  re-passing,  as  the  dug-outs 
are  every  two  or  three  yards  and  the  trench  in 
zigzags.  At  night  with  a  candle  in  the  earth  at 
the  back  I  found  it  best  for  reading  to  lie  flat 
on  my  back  and  have  a  short  stick  on  my  chin 
with  which  I  pressed  the  magazine  against  the 

103 


104  LIFE   IN  THE  TRENCH 

sandbag  roof ;  it  was  a  fine  idea,  and  the  stick, 
about  a  foot  long,  wedged  in  finely  !  In  the 
night  some  Germans  crept  up  near  enough  to 
throw  some  hand  grenades  into  the  next  traverse, 
but  did  no  damage  beyond  making  everyone 
"  stand  to  arms"  and  fire  five  rounds  rapid  into 
the  dark  ;  this  happened  twice,  but  the  next  day 
we  were  treated  to  enfilading  shell  fire  from  high 
explosive  shells,  the  first  two  of  which  fell  in  front, 
and  beyond  shaking  us  up  did  no  damage,  but 
the  third  was  a  direct  burst  in  the  next  traverse, 
killing  one  man  in  a  dug-out  and  blowing  a  heavy 
sandbag  into  his  pal  by  him  and  putting  him  on 
the  sick  list,  and  sHghtly  wounding  two  men, 
whom  we  were  talking  to  as  we  squatted  down 
in  our  traverse,  one  in  the  arm  and  the  other 
in  the  neck.  A  piece  of  shell  bumped  up  against 
my  knee,  but  was  spent  and  didn't  even  bruise, 
but  I  collared  the  bit  while  it  was  still  hot 
and  have  kept  it.  After  this  we  thought  it  time 
to  crawl  into  the  dug-outs,  and  there  we  stuck 
it  for  an  hour  while  they  blazed  away,  and  we 
could  hear  the  bits  plugging  into  the  sandbags; 
then  they  shifted  range  and  shelled  another 
regiment. 

These  escapes  are  nothing  compared  with  what 
the  infantry  have  daily,  but  it  was  an  interesting 
experience  being  in  the  very  front  trenches ;  the 
infantry  are  unconcerned  and  whatever  comes  to 


TIRED  STRETCHER-BEARERS  105 

them  is  treated  as  a  matter  of  course.  The  two 
of  our  signallers  who  are  there  to-day  will  have 
something  to  talk  about,  I  expect,  as  the  enemy 
have  been  shelling  the  same  "  register"  all  day 
on  and  off,  but  as  they  haven't  rung  us  up  to  say 
they  are  hit  out,  we  assume  and  hope  they  are 
all  right.  The  getting  out  and  getting  in  is  a 
ticklish  job  if  the  enemy  are  firing  much  ;  it 
is  a  good  two  mile  walk  and  the  last  mile  is  fairly 
swept  by  the  rifle  fire  that  overflies  our  parapets, 
unless  you  go  all  the  way  by  a  circuitous  zig- 
zagging communicating  trench  that  no  one  uses, 
as  it  takes  an  hour  to  get  along  its  mile  and  a  half 
or  so  of  length.  We  came  out  last  night  with  the 
water-fetching  party  and  a  stretcher  party  with 
the  dead ;  luckily  the  Germs  were  quiet,  and  if  it 
were  not  for  the  frequent  flares,  shattered  farms 
and  trees  and  appalling  stenches,  it  might  be  an 
evening's  walk  in  the  country  in  England  across 
country,  for  we  never  heard  a  bullet.  I  took  a 
turn  helping  to  carry  the  man  who  had  been 
killed  in  our  trench,  and  never  reahzed  till  then 
what  an  awful  job  the  stretcher-bearers  have, 
stumbling  along  over  holey  roads,  over  mounds 
and  ditches,  etc.  We  were  a  party  of  about 
fourteen  strong,  but  were  all  "whacked"  by  the 
time  we  had  got  the  poor  beggar  to  headquarters  ; 
probably  our  men  who  are  there  to-day  will  do 
a  similar  job  if  they  come  away  with  the  water 


io6  LIFE  IN  THE  TRENCH 

party.  On  the  way  out  we  have  to  pass  through  a 
farm  now  known  as  "  Stinking  Farm,"  as  round 
it  and  another  near  by  some  of  the  fiercest 
fighting  took  place  some  time  ago,  the  names  of 
which  battles  and  the  regiments  who  took  part 
therein  you'll  recognize  when  I  am  able  to  tell 
you.  In  the  middle  of  the  night  we  were  in  the 
trenches  ;  the  Germans  shouted  at  us  and  we 
could  hear  them  singing,  and  nightly  raids  go  on 
in  which  they  come  and  "pinch"  our  barbed 
wire  and  add  to  theirs,  and  we  (that  is,  our 
infantry)  re-pinch  it  back  with  more  too  ;  very 
often  these  little  "  working  parties  "  get  exposed 
by  a  flare  and  a  machine  gun  is  laid  on  them, 
but  the  dodge  is  when  a  flare  goes  up  if  you  are 
too  late  to  drop  down  flat  you  have  to  stand 
perfectly  still  and  trust  they'll  take  you  for  a 
bush  or  shadow. 


June  Sth,  191 5. 

2  a.m.  has  just  struck  and  a  cock  has  crowed, 
and  now  a  terrific  fusillade  is  going  on,  but  not 
on  our  immediate  front ;  shall  be  getting  a  report 
through  the  infantry  wire  soon,  our  support  may 
be  wanted.  Yesterday  I  with  another  of  our 
men  was  "  standing  to  arms  "  in  the  firing  trench 
of  the  infantry  in  front  of  us,  as  we  were  on 


RECONNOITRING  107 

infantry  duty,  but  we  had  no  bayonets  fixed 
like  all  the  rest.     It  was  a  grim  sight  in  the  half 
twilight  to  see  the  bayonets  all  above  the  parapet 
and  the  men  standing  to  fire  or  charge,  but  we 
only  let  off  five  rounds   rapid  each  and  then 
cleared  off  again  to  sleep  in  the  dug-outs,  leaving 
only  the  sentries  in  the  traverses.     In  the  day- 
time you  can  step  on  to  the  board  that  raises 
your  head  above  the  level  of  the  seven  foot 
parapet  and  gaze  out  on  the  German  trenches 
from    100   yards   to   430   yards    away   at   that 
particular  spot,  only  you  must  not  stay  there 
long,  as  it  tempts  their  sentries  and  sharpshooters, 
but  at  night  when  flares  are  going  up  it  is  death 
to  look  over  the  top.     Jack  D.  and  the  other 
signallers  and  I  went  out  with  a  corporal  along 
a  short  sap  in  the  afternoon  in  front  of  this 
trench,  then  climbed  out  and  crept  along  a  hedge 
for  fifty  yards   more  beyond  our  barbed  wire 
defences  and  about  fifty  yards  in  front  of  theirs, 
where  we  dropped  into   a   Jack   Johnson  hole 
and  had  a  look  round.     We  were  midway  between 
the  two   firing  trenches   and   about   100  yards 
from  the  German  lines,  but  we  were  not  spotted 
or  fired  at,  so  we  did  not  fire,  but  it  was  with  a 
rather  creepy  feeling  that  we  (or  rather  7)  crawled 
out  of   the   Jack  Johnson   hole   and   had   fifty 
yards  of  open  country  to  crawl  along  on  hands 
and  knees  before  dropping  into  the  sap  trench. 

H 


io8  LIFE   IN  THE  TRENCH 

Our  khaki  saved  us  from  observation  probably, 
unless  their  look-outs  were  slack,  and  the  fun  was 
well  worth  it.  Coming  out  from  the  trenches 
last  night  I  helped  to  carry  a  man  out  who  had 
been  killed  a  few  yards  from  us  by  a  shell.  We 
had  a  mile  of  open  ground  to  carry  him  and  the 
water  bottles  across,  with  flares  going  up ;  but 
luckily  they  were  quiet — and  we  had  very  few 
bullets  over.  After  that  we  got  into  the  tiny 
dug-outs,  and  there  we  had  to  stick  over  an  hour's 
hard  shelling  from  high  explosive  shells,  the  whole 
earth  shaking  at  each  burst  and  fragments 
plunking  down  all  round.  Then  came  their  rifle 
fire ;  but  all  was  quiet  again  by  the  time  we  had  to 
leave  at  nightfall.  Two  others  are  there  to-night, 
and  judging  by  the  row  there  has  been  they  too 
have  been  through  the  mill.  I  have  come  to  the 
conclusion  that  the  artillery  signaller  at  any 
rate  has  earned  the  portion  of  the  badge  that 
says  "Ubique." 

We  go  in  the  firing  trenches,  reserve  trenches, 
observation  stations,  and  back  at  our  gun 
positions  and  wire  patrols  between  the  lot,  and 
yet  here  we  are  still  without  a  casualty  and 
still  rather  surprised  and  certainly  pleased  each 
night,  as  each  pair  comes  rolling  in  once 
more,  back  to  the  comparatively  safe  pair  that 
are  on  the  "  Exchange  "  at  the  farm.  The  day 
after  to-day  (as  it  is  2.30  a.m.)  D.  and  I  will  be 


COCK  CROWS  IN  MORSE  109 

in  the  observing  station,  then  wiring,  patrolling, 
then  infantr^^  unless  any  special  job  crops  up 
meantime. 

We  have  had  terrific  heat  lately,  and  to- 
day one  man  in  the  3rd  battery  who  was 
hcliographing  to  us  fainted  from  the  heat,  and 
another  had  sunstroke.  We  could  not  make 
out  why  the  helio  was  stopped,  as  it  was  one  and 
a  half  miles  away  and  they  couldn't  be  seen  even 
with  glasses,  so  you  can  imagine  the  temperature 
if  a  trained  soldier  faints  from  it.  We  never  have 
tunics  on  now,  and  have  lately  been  existing  on 
half  a  bottle  of  water,  as  the  cart  comes  daily 
and  doesn't  hold  enough  to  fill  all  bottles.  For 
washing  we  have  to  use  some  dirty  pond  water  full 
of  living  animal  and  vegetable  organisms,  our 
basin  being  a  biscuit  tin.  You  would  howl  with 
laughter  to  see  some  of  our  makeshifts:  braces 
made  from  telephone  wire,  the  walls  of  our  little 
outhouse — where  the  pigwash  tub  in  the  heat  gets 
higher — adorned  with  pictures  out  of  Punch  and 
other  illustrated  papers  stuck  on  the  wall  with 
marmalade  ! 

The  birds  are  yelling  hard  outside  and  a  cock 

is  crowing  in  Morse ,  which,  as  he  runs 

it  without  an  appreciable  break,  can  be  rendered, 

"Tat—/ /— ,"or"Ka /-  — ,"  the  other  pos- 

sibiHties  being  unpronounceable,  "Tw — / ," 

and  "Nm / ."    There  was  one  at  Broom- 


no  LIFE   IN  THE   TRENCH 

field  which  S.  amused  the  others  by  saying  crowed 

"  Y,"  and  so  it  did.     It  went all  in  one, 

which  is  perhaps  what  this  one  is  attempting,  but 
his  is  a  poor  effort  ! 


CHAPTER  X 


REST 


June,  191 5. 

You  were  mistaken  in  thinking  we  were  all  this 
timein  the  rear.  We  have  been  bang  on  the  fighting 
front  and  already  qualified  for  two  bars  to  our 
medal  for  actions  in  big  scraps,  and  that  accounts 
for  all  our  signalling  work  being  under  fire  and 
the  attendance  daily  of  two  signallers  in  the  fir- 
ing trenches  with  the  infantry.  And  no  better 
friends  could  we  have  than  the  Regulars.  Now 
for  the  last  four  days  we  have  "  nightly  pitched 
our  moving  tents  a  day's  march  nearer  Home" 
or  home,  for  each  day's  war  brings  us  nearer 
one  or  the  other. 

The  last  four  days  have  been  tremendous 
marches  lasting  till  midnight  and  after,  before 
the  horses  are  picketed  and  fed  in  the  new  place 
— rain  day  and  night  and  sleeping  out  in  the 
open  with  ground  sheet  over  us  and  blanket 
round  us,  officers  in  farms  or  chateaux  !  We 
have  had  to  throw  away  all  superfluous  kit  and 
luxuries,  and  have  only  just  the  bare  change  of 


112  "REST" 

"  unders"  and  washing  tackle  and  food  bag  so 
as  to  save  the  horses — either  outriders  like  myself 
or  in  the  wagons.  "  Pickwick"  still  flourishing 
and  carries  me  well  and  all  my  personal  junk 
(little)  and  signalling  junk  (heaps). 

Where  we  are  now  is  a  "  Rest "  camp,  and  don't 
any  of  you  be  under  any  delusion  as  to  what  that 
means.  It  is  hke  all  other  "  rest"  camps — hard 
driving  work  from  5  a.m.  to  midnight  for  the 
men,  especially  in  mounted  regiments.  The  only 
rest  is  that  from  actual  firing  and  danger,  which 
none  of  us  want  to  come  away  from.  It  is  two 
miles  to  the  place  where  we  have  to  water  the 
horses  every  feeding  time  !  We  are  all  fright- 
fully fed  up  ;  not  weakening  in  our  determination 
to  do  our  best  in  the  job  or  regretting  what  we 
have  taken  up — but  fed  up  with  the  crass  blind- 
ness in  the  past ;  and  fed  up  with  spying  double- 
faced  Belgians,  and  other  unnecessary  matters 
here.  We  have,  however,  determined  in  this 
battery  that  they  can  break  our  backs  with 
work  and  loss  of  sleep,  food  and  water,  but 
they'll  never  break  our  hearts,  and  when  we  go 
into  action  on  the  new  front,  and  may  it  come 
soon,  we  hope  to  show  them  that  the  much 
despised  "  Saturday  afternoon  soldiers  "  are  as 
fit  and  game  as  any.  It  is  a  sign  of  official  appre- 
ciation to  be  put  in  our  new  position,  so  some 
puffed-out  old  bigwigs  are  having  to  eat  their 


"SATURDAY  AFTERNOON  SOLDIERS"   113 

own  words  and  command  the  men  they  laughed 
at  in  years  gone  by.  Amongst  the  Regulars, 
men  and  non-coms.,  we  have,  however,  always 
been  well  received,  and  as  far  as  artillery  is  con- 
cerned they  have  been  grateful  for  our  support, 
the  greatest  wonder  to  them  being  the  fact  that 
the  first  supporting  shell  was  sent  by  us  two 
minutes  after  their  telephone  application  arrived 
in  the  middle  of  the  night,  all  being  asleep  but 
the  guard  and  men  on  telephone  duty. 

About  food,  please  don't  think  we  are  starved  ; 
there  is  enough  of  it,  though  we  are  often  short 
of  water  to  drink,  but  one  sickens  of  bread  and 
jam  and  stew  day  after  day  for  ten  months.  .  .  . 
The  scrutiny  of  kits  is  severe  now  we  are  in  the 
mobile  first  army.  The  most  useful  things  to 
send  are  chocolate,  potted  meat,  sardines  (with 
key)  ;  the  first  is  best  of  all,  as  we  so  often  move 
off  without  food  and  get  none  for  hours  owing 
to  time,  or  the  food  wagon  getting  lost  in  the 
dark,  or  jibbing  horses,  ditches,  etc.  Sometimes 
we  pack  up  and  saddle  up  just  as  we  have  sat 
down  to  a  meal,  and  all  has  to  be  thrown  away 
and  buried,  and  we  are  out  of  the  camp  and  on 
the  road  in  half  an  hour,  lines  cleaned  and  ground 
swept,  rubbish  burned,  pits  filled  up,  etc. 

The  country  here  is  lovely,  wooded  with  oaks, 
elms  and  sweet-smelling  limes,  and  undulating, 
unhke  Belgium.     All  sorts  of  soldiers  arc  here. 


114  "REST" 

Indians,  French,  Singalese,  etc.  The  latter 
yell  as  they  march  along,  Yi  yi,  Hi  yi,  that  in 
the  distance  sounds  like  the  blood-curdling  noise 
I  heard  once  when  our  men  were  charging,  a 
mixture  of  cheers,  yells,  shrieks  and  howls — 
a  most  uncanny  noise. 


CHAPTER  XI 

A    CRICKET   MATCH    AT   THE    FRONT 

Somewhere  the  sun  is  shining,  and  at  last,  after 
months  of  rain  and  mud,  it  is  shining  "  Some- 
where in  Belgium,"  consequently  the  young 
men's  fancy  lightly  turns  to  thoughts  of  cricket. 
Two  bats  have  been  hatcheted,  bill-hooked  and 
jack-knifed  out  of  willow  trees  to  a  fair  represen- 
tation of  the  oiled  and  spliced  variety,  and  a  ball 
— a  hockey  ball,  by  the  way — is  produced  by 
some  sportsman  who  has  carried  it  in  his  kit 
since  leaving  England.  But  before  going  any 
further,  your  interest  must  be  invited  by  an 
introduction  to  the  players,  and  further  satisfied 
by  the  result  of  the  match.  The  players  and 
onlookers  were  the  whole  of  the  2nd  Battery 
Glos.  R.F.A.,  with  the  exception  of  the  drivers, 
who  are  a  mile  or  so  in  the  rear  with  the  horses. 
The  game  was  played  about  ten  yards  from 
where  the  guns  nosed  through  the  hedge  and 
sent  their  "  plenty  souvenirs,"  as  the  peasants 
say,  over  to  the  Germans.  The  game  in  itself 
was  as  rough  and  ready  in  outfit  and  pitch  as 
any  urchin's  match  on  a  bottle-strewn  tipping 

"5 


ii6       CRICKET  MATCH  AT  THE   FRONT 

ground,  and  the  only  noteworthy  feature  was 
the  unfinished  score  by  Mr.  J.,  who  did  his  level 
best  to  hit  A  and  B  guns  out  of  action  by  his 
boundaries,  and  made  99  not  out. 

The  grand  stand  (prone  position  on  the  turf) 
was  occupied  by  all  who  were  free  from  duty 
for  the  time. 

Its  chief  interest  beyond  that  of  recreation 
was  towards  the  end  of  the  game,  when  the 
order  "Action"  came  through  the  telephone, 
and  both  opposing  teams  and  spectators  raced 
one  another  to  the  guns,  and  in  fifteen  seconds 
from  the  order  being  shouted  from  the  telephone 
the  2nd  battery  were  in  action  with  as  much 
keen  enjoyment  in  the  work  as  they  displayed 
in  the  game.  After  one  or  two  ranging  shots 
had  been  fired,  a  German  plane  buzzed  up 
overhead  to  try  and  find  out  where  the  fire  came 
from,  so  we  "  froze"  in  our  well-concealed  posi- 
tion and  watched  it  being  chased  by  a  British 
plane  which  fired  at  it.  British  and  German 
anti-aircraft  guns  also  joined  in  the  fun,  and  a 
lively  aerial  fight  went  on  for  about  ten  minutes, 
white  pufifs  of  smoke  from  the  bursting  shells 
showing  all  round  both  machines,  until  at  last 
the  German  turned  tail  and  fled  back  to  its  own 
lines.  We,  in  the  meantime,  stayed  round  the 
guns,  as  we  were  screened  from  above  by  bushes, 
any  spare  men  going  into  the  dug-outs,  as  it  is 


PICTURESQUE  COUNTRY  117 

very  nearly  as  important  to  guard  our  gun 
positions  from  German  observation  as  it  is  to 
suppress  news  of  regimental  achievements  from 
the  British  public,  to  whom  a  regiment  is  lost 
as  soon  as  it  leaves  England.  The  Germans, 
however,  know  quite  enough  of  the  general  direc- 
tion and  range  of  our  fire  to  bombard  us  daily, 
and  often  nightly,  with  searching  shells. 

On  the  disappearance  of  the  enemy  plane 
we  opened  fire  again  on  their  trenches  with  great 
effect,  according  to  the  results  telephoned  from 
our  observing  station. 

This  little  incident  occurred  some  days  ago, 
and  has  been  repeated  daily,  minus  the  cricket, 
for  we  have  been  more  or  less  continually  in 
action  since  the  fifth  day  after  our  arrival  in 
France,  though  fortunately  without  any  casualty 
so  far,  owing  to  our  excellent  hidden  position. 
Escapes,  however,  are  frequent,  and  very  narrow 
at  times. 

The  country  is  at  its  best  now  ;  a  distant  view 
of  two  small  towns — one  in  German  hands  and 
the  other  immediately  behind  our  trenches — 
is  lovely ;  the  red  tiles  of  such  houses  as  still 
have  a  roof,  the  deep  blue  sky,  the  green  trees 
and  green  and  brown  earth,  with  huge  patches  of 
yellow  turnip  flower,  forming  a  kaleidoscopic 
landscape  ;  but  a  closer  inspection  of  these  little 
towns  and  villages  is  a  horror  that  will  haunt  all 


ii8       CRICKET  MATCH  AT  THE   FRONT 

who  see  them  to  the  end  of  their  lives.  Towerless 
churches,  streets  pock-marked  by  heavy  shell 
fire  into  craters  that  would  hide  a  dozen  men. 
Here  is  to  be  seen  a  disembowelled  house, 
with  carpeted  floor  bared  to  the  sky,  there 
a  roof  resting  on  chipped  walls,  with  nothing 
underneath  it  but  a  mass  of  crushed  bricks  and 
household  furniture — not  a  whole  house  or  a 
living  soul  to  be  seen  ;  everywhere  one  turns 
there  are  shell-rent  buildings,  roofs  shattered 
and  twisted  into  every  conceivable  shape,  wdth 
jagged  rafters  pointing  up  into  the  heavens,  as 
witnesses  to  God  of  the  havoc  around,  which  is 
one  of  the  brands  burnt  by  a  cultured  Christian 
Power  into  the  face  of  a  little  brother  nation. 
Let  us  hope  that  those  at  home  will  come  forward 
at  last,  after  nine  months'  cogitation,  to  help 
us  carry  out  our  determination  that  the  latest 
German  occupation  of  Belgium  shall  be  the  last, 
and  that  a  similar  fate  shall  not  overtake  our 
own  homes  by  the  same  hand. 


CHAPTER  XII 

THE    REAL   THING 

August  1st,  1915- 
We  are  in  action  again  in  a  very  hot  corner,  but 
in  terrifically  strong  dug-outs  with  five  or  six 
layers  of  tree  trunks  above  our  heads  and  six 
feet  below  the  surface  ;  the  guns  also  are  sunk 
a  foot  or  two  with  very  strong  side  and  similar 
roofs  over  them.  But  the  position  of  all  the 
batteries  (which  said  positions  we  took  over 
from  the  French  last  night)  are  all  known  and 
ranged  by  the  Germans,  they  say,  and  are 
heavily  shelled,  as  indeed  the  state  of  the  ground 
shows,  though  to-day  we  have  only  had  about 
sixty  near  us.  Imagine  a  huge  plain,  more  or 
less  flat,  about  five  to  eight  miles  across  each  way, 
a  sandy  plain  that  reminds  me  in  different  aspects 
of  Towyn  flats,  SaHsbury  Plain,  and  Blackdown, 
a  vast  expanse  of  sand  and  clay  with  remains 
here  and  there  of  last  year's  clover  and  root 
crops  and  for  the  rest  knee  deep  in  this  year's 
thistles,  "  switch,"  and  all  sorts  of  lovely  wild 
flowers.  So  once  more  we  are  in  the  artillery 
duel  department,  the  only  men  of  each  battery 

119 


120  THE  REAL  THING 

in  position  being  the  battery  commander  for  the 
day,  the  sergeant-major,  sergeants  and  actual 
gun  detachments,  and  eight  of  us  signallers,  the 
spare  gunners  and  others  being  with  the  drivers 
in  the  wagon  line  about  five  kilos  in  rear.  We 
signallers  took  over  the  position  under  an  officer 
yesterday  at  midday,  the  French  remaining 
with  us  till  night,  when  the  rest  came  up  with 
the  guns,  drivers  returning  to  the  wagon  line 
with  limbers  and  horses.  I  had  the  honour  of 
laying  and  firing  a  75  mm.  gun  of  which  you 
have  read  so  much,  and  had  some  jolly  chats 
with  the  men,  as  "  je  parle  fran9ais  un  petit 
peu." 

The  dug-outs  are  rather  dirty,  as  are  most 
French  positions  we  take  over,  and  there  is  just 
room  for  six  men  to  sleep  and  to  work  the  switch- 
board and  instruments.  The  outlook  is  gorgeous, 
and  judging  from  to-night  we  are  going  to  have 
some  lovely  sky  effects,  having  such  a  large 
view,  only  bounded  on  the  horizon  all  round  by 
small  villages  in  woods.  The  wind  and  open  air 
are  lovely,  and  if  you  don't  look  at  your  frowsy 
khaki  or  at  the  guns  you  could  imagine  yourself 
getting  a  sea  breeze  on  the  Towyn  sand  dunes  ! 
Imagination  has  to  be  drawn  upon  to  a  huge 
extent  in  war  time  in  order  to  forget  surroundings 
and  feelings.  There  is  not  the  remotest  trace 
of  water  nearer  than  the  village  twelve  miles  in 


ALLIED  FLAGS  IN  FLOWERS  121 

rear,  and  we  have  to  drink  and  wash  out  of  one 
water  bottle  full  that  we  get  when  the  water 
cart  comes  up  at  nights,  so  we  shall  have  to  roll 
in  the  grass  for  a  wash  !  Our  observing  station 
is  in  a  hefty  trench  that  runs  parallel  to  our 
position  about  500  yards  in  front.  The  dug-outs 
there  are  twelve  feet  below  the  surface  and  smell 
very  poor  after  eleven  months'  French  occupation, 
but  their  environs  are — like  most  of  France  that 
we  have  been  through — lovely.  The  trench 
takes  the  line  of  a  road,  and  as  you  walk  along 
your  head  is  on  a  level  with  what  was  the  bottom 
of  the  ditch  at  the  roadside,  the  bank  being  one 
mass  of  wild  flowers,  the  prevailing  colours 
suggesting  to  the  fanciful  an  irregular  series  of 
Allied  flags,  from  the  clumps  of  red  poppy,  white 
meadowsweet  and  blue  harebells.  Poke  your  head 
over  the  thrown-out  soil  on  the  other  side  of  the 
road,  and  it  is  a  welter  of  rusty  bins,  old  respira- 
tors, broken  bits  of  equipment  and  a  second-hand 
wardrobe  of  French  garments  in  all  stages  of 
decay.  During  an  "  off"  time  I  trudged  along 
this  trench  for  a  mile  to  what  is  left  of  a  village 
on  our  left  front,  which  we  drove  out  of  the  other 
day ;  every  wall  chipped  and  cracked  in  a  thousand 
places  with  bullets  and  shrapnel,  all  houses  loop- 
holed,  and  the  trench  I  was  in  took  me  bang 
through  a  house,  through  the  dining-room  and 
kitchen,  and  on  a  level  with  my  head  was  the 


122  THE  REAL  THING 

dresser  with  the  earth  thrown  up  all  round  and 
on  it.  I  felt  quite  a  qualified  looter  when  I 
scrambled  out  of  the  trench  and  "wangled"  a 
pocketful  of  apples  from  the  orchard.  Must 
go  on  duty  now.  All  quiet  at  present,  though  we 
tickled  them  up  with  our  new  guns  to-day  ! 

August  yth  (I  think),  191 5. 

Yesterday  came  the  terribly  sad  news  of 
C.  P.'s  death  in  action.  I  feel  awfully  sorry  for 
Mrs.  P.  and  H.,  in  a  manner  one  can't  express  in 
words  and  when  one  is  amongst  it  all.  Words 
seem  to  lose  all  their  power  of  expression  before 
these  unparalleled  conditions.  The  loss  of  officers 
in  that  Gallipoli  Peninsula  has  been  terrific  in 
those  attacks  of  sheer  weight  of  numbers.  I  have 
lately,  too,  had  so  many  old  school  and  other  pals 
in  B.  killed,  mostly  on  the  front  we  occupy,  as 
they  are  in  the  same  division. 

Well,  we  are  in  action  again  pretty  heavily, 
as  the  French  positions  on  an  open  plain  (though 
in  dug-outs)  are  well-known  in  range  to  the 
Germans  and  they  shell  us  heavily  daily  with  high 
explosive,  and  we  are  so  close  that  the  sound  or 
scream  of  the  shell,  and  its  burst,  are  almost 
simultaneous,  so  that  when  they  begin  and  we 
are  all  out  in  the  open  there  is  no  chance  of  dodging 
below.  They  have  knocked  our  dug-outs  about 
a  bit,  blown  through  the  bottom  of  our  water 


SMOKE-HELMETS  123 

tank,  smashed  the  officers'  frying  pan  and  broken 
all  our  carefully  laid  wires  four  days  running, 
giving  us  endless  work,  though  rather  exciting 
work  too,  and  we  enjoy  the  feeling  of  diddling 
the  enemy  by  getting  into  communication  again 
with  brigade  infantry  and  other  headquarters 
and  batteries. 

Just  now  I  am  forward  in  the  trenches  with  the 
W.  regiments,  for  four  days,  after  which  two 
more  of  our  signallers  come  for  four  days.  I  am 
here  till  Tuesday  night.  We  are  attached  as 
artillery  signal  service  men,  two  from  each  battery 
going  into  the  trenches  covered  by  the  zone  of 
their  fire,  four  hours  off  and  four  on  daily  day 
and  night  for  four  days  ;  it  is  a  bit  of  a  strain 
for  two  men.  At  present  I  am  off  duty  and  they 
are  shelling  us  here  heavily  with  H.E.  gas  shells — 
awful  choking  chloriney  stink,  but  not  bad  enough 
for  the  smoke-helmet,  which  is  simply  a  flannel 
helmet  with  talc  eye-holes  and  sprayed  with  a 
chemical.  We  look  like  Inquisition  devils  when  in 
them.  Where  I  am  now  we  are  quite — as  it  were — 
safe  from  the  shell  fragments  unless  they  pitch 
down  the  steps,  the  bottom  one  of  which  I  am 
sitting  on.  This  is  a  German  trench  captured  a  few 
weeks  ago,  and  shows  the  sort  of  thing  we  have 
to  smash  up  and  conquer ;  the  trench,  of  course,  is 
as  usual,  the  water  and  mud  being  kept  in  it 
and  from  drowning  out  the  dug-outs  by  a  high 


124  THE  REAL  THING 

wooden  step  at  top  of  each  one.  The  latter  go 
down  fifteen  nine-inch  steps,  and  are  at  frequent 
intervals  all  along  the  trenches ;  so  here  we  are 
twelve  feet  below  the  surface  and  six  feet  of  earth 
and  trunks  above  that,  with  walls,  roof,  etc., 
made  of  three-inch  planking,  so  that  each  dug-out 
reminds  me  of  nothing  so  much  as  the  descent 
into  the  Underground  or  Twopenny  Tube  while 
the  workmen  were  still  excavating.  No  fires 
allowed,  therefore  nothing  to  drink  but  cold 
water,  and  of  that,  one  water  bottle  per  day  per 
man  and  a  two-mile  tramp  through  the  com- 
munication trenches  to  refill  at  night.  No  water 
for  washing;  mud  always  ankle  deep  in  long 
stretches  of  anything  from  one  to  500  yards, 
the  water  is  just  above  knee  deep ;  trenches 
narrow,  floor  thereof  holey  and  slippery ;  so  you 
can  imagine  what  we  look  like.  As  I  was  in  our 
forward  observing  station  (also  a  trench)  before 
coming  here,  and  it  is  in  the  same  condition,  I 
haven't  had  dry  legs  day  or  night  for  five  days ; 
but  all  are  the  same,  only  I'm  just  giving  my 
experiences.  Our  clothes,  hair  and  hands  are 
grimed  and  caked  with  mud,  or  rather  clay,  for 
it  is  all  clay  here.  Our  gun  position  is  not  many 
yards  behind  the  forward  trench,  but  between 
the  latter  and  this  infantry  firing  trench  (though 
probably  ten  minutes'  walk  if  a  road  ran  as  the 
crow  flies  from  one  to  the  other),  is  a  three-milQ 


A  GERMAN  "WORKING-PARTY  125 

trench  tramp,  as,  of  course,  the  trench  has  to 
twist  and  turn  to  escape  the  various  enfiladings 
and  enemy  saps,  and  then  any  given  frontage  of 
firing  trench  is  never  a  straight  line,  probably 
like  this  : 


Any  actually  straight  piece  such  as  this  *  would 
be  thus  : 


to  give  cover  from  enfilade.  Then  sometimes  we 
capture  150  yards  length  of  enemy  trench  in 
front  ;  then  a  sap  has  to  be  driven  back  at  either 
end  of  the  captured  bit  to  the  old  trench  in  the 
rear  and  the  enemy  ends  blocked  up,  and  so  it 
goes  on.  The  other  night  our  battery  fired  high 
explosive  at  a  "  working  party  "  of  Germans  in  a 
sap  that  was  being  worked  close  towards  our 
trench ;  we  broke  up  the  meeting  for  them  and 
smashed  the  sap-head  into  a  clay  ruin,  and  it  is 
doubtful  if  any  escaped  alive.  Yesterday  our 
wire  from  this  infantry  headquarters  back  to 
the  battery  was  smashed  by  a  shell,     I  ran  along 


126  THE  REAL  THING 

to  mend  it ;  on  climbing  out  of  the  communica- 
tion trench  where  the  break  was  I  had  to  work 
the  job  close  against  where  a  dead  German  was, 
just  lightly  covered  with  soil  but  feet  sticking  out ; 
but  it  has  long  been  a  common  sight,  and  some- 
times the  earth  even  gets  all  washed  by  rain  or 
blown  away  by  shell.  All  around  was  debris, 
French  and  German  equipment,  clothing,  tools, 
etc.,  and  burial  places — one  can't  say  graves. 
I  was  fortunate  with  the  mending,  though  the 
same  place  was  spattered  by  a  distant  high  explo- 
sive shell  just  after  I  had  jumped  into  the  trench 
again,  luckily  without  breaking  the  wire.  I  was 
hidden  from  view  of  the  near  enemy's  firing 
trenches  by  the  irregular  ground,  luckily,  other- 
wise their  rifles  might  have  made  it  a  warmer 
job.  Nothing  makes  you  feel  madder  than  being 
deliberately  fired  at  when  doing  a  job  that  has 
to  be  done  slowly  and  carefully,  such  as  insulating 
the  wire  after  baring  the  cable  and  joining  the 
ends.  A  man  who  has  been  fouled  at  footer 
has  the  same  feeling. 

To-day  one  of  us — during  his  off  four  hours — 
will  have  to  go  back  to  the  battery  to  draw  rations 
again,  and  the  other  during  his  time  will  draw 
water,  as  we  don't  draw  from  the  regiment  we  are 
attached  to  for  the  time  being.  Our  triumphal 
entry  into  the  trenches  the  night  before  last 
played    havoc    with    yesterday's    and    to-day's 


BREAD  DRIED  BY  A  CANDLE  127 

rations  in  a  sack  on  shoulder  !  The  one  loaf 
was  a  wet  mass  mostly  muddy,  from  constant 
fallings  upon  and  wild  lashings  of  the  sack  to 
preserve  balance!  but  we  have  been  able  to  live 
the  two  days  on  one  or  two  of  the  less  dirty 
lumps  of  it  dried  by  a  candle.  Cheese  started  in 
a  lump,  but  we  now  peel  it  off  the  bully  tins,  and 
one  wedge  has  got  driven  into  a  little  tin  that 
held  our  tea;  just  as  well,  as  we  cannot  boil 
water  to  have  the  tea,  and  to  see  usable  tea-leaves 
without  being  able  to  use  them  would  be  pure 
aggravation.  Compris?  The  infantry,  poor 
beggars,  are  often  worse  off,  though  ;  yesterday 
those  here  had  only  one  tin  of  jam  to  tYtiy  seven- 
teen men,  instead  of  one  between  four.  That — 
considering  there  is  no  such  thing  as  butter,  and 
jam  is  the  only  thing  besides  cheese  that  one 
really  eats,  as  no  one  can  stand  bully  beef  now — 
I  thought  was  a  real  hardship  !  But  all  round 
the  infantry  get  it  worse  than  we  do  ;  the  only 
pull  they  have  over  us  is  that  they  move  by  day 
and  we  always  by  night.  A  lot  of  them  have 
cut  their  trousers  off  just  above  the  knee  and  go 
about  in  boots  and  socks  under  that  arrange- 
ment of  clothing  !  If  the  trenches  are  as  bad 
as  this  now  after  four  weeks'  rain,  heaven  help 
us  in  the  "  swellings  of  Jordan  "  or  when  the 
winter  comes  on.  And  still — after  seeing  men 
hit  out  here  and  there  and  seeing  the  poor  beggars 


128  THE  REAL  THING 

of  infantry  enduring  these  conditions — we  read 
in  the  paper,  "  There  is  nothing  doing  on  the 
Western  front."     But  although  it  seems  as  if  we 
are  doing  nothing,  we  are  never  at  rest.    Infantry, 
cavalry,  sappers,  artillerymen,  are  always  digging, 
draining,  making  or  mending  dug-outs,  trenches, 
drains,    gun    positions,    dummy    trenches    and 
positions,  laying  wires  and  taking  them  up  again 
and  re-laying  elsewhere,  carrying  materials  and 
food  about,  all  of  them  doing  each  others'  jobs. 
Infantry  making  an  observing  station  for  artil- 
lery, artillery  laying  or  burying  perhaps  a  wire 
for  the  infantry  or  digging  a  trench  for  them. 
Yet  through  it  all  we  fire  a  good  deal,  though  the 
infantry  don't ;  it  is  mostly  artillery  here.     Until 
the  great  move,  and  then  if  one  survivor  in  five 
returns  with  his  hearing  and  senses  intact  I  shall 
be  surprised.     I   was   deaf  for  two  days   after 
St.  Eloi  and  Hill  60,  and  several  of  our  men  are 
now  "  resting"  with  deafness  at  the  horse  lines. 
But  the  most  distressing  and  aggravating  work 
is  that  which  is  needless,  that  you  know  will  have 
to  be  done  next  day,  or  that  is  due  (and  you  know 
it)  to  some  idiot  officer's  mistake,  e.g.,  our  forced 
march   on   B.     The   other   night   the   Adjutant 
wanted  to  speak  to  the  Colonel  on  some  matter 
about  1 1  p.m.    The  Colonel,  of  course,  is  in  billets 
in  a  village  a  mile  behind  our  gun  position,  to 
which  we  had  had  no  orders  to  lay  a  wire  (and 


SOME  INEXPERIENXED  OFFICERS       129 

woe  betide  you  if  you  do  a  thing,  however  useful 
or  sensible,  without  orders).  The  Adjutant,  after 
making  a  suitable  row  about  it  (having  forgotten 
the  matter  himself  !)  turned  four  of  us  out  to  do 
it  there  and  then.  A  six-man  job  really,  as  a  reel 
of  one  mile  of  thick  cable  such  as  we  have  to 
use  here  is  almost  too  heavy  for  two  to  hold  while 
two  more  reel  off  and  fix  up.  We  got  up  to  the 
Colonel's  billet  2.30  a.m.  He  said  it  was  worse 
than  useless,  as  he  never  wished  to  have  a  wire, 
and  next  day  we  heard  all  officers'  billets  were 
being  removed  to  another  village  about  same 
distance  in  rear  on  our  left  !  That's  the  sort 
of  thing  that  makes  you  wish  you  were  an  ofhcer, 
knowing,  as  many  of  our  men  do,  that  they  have 
the  brains  to  think  out  courses  of  action  before 
taking  them.  We  have  some  out  here  straight 
from  school,  unused  to  men  or  being  amongst 
men,  certainly  unused  to  commanding  and 
thinking  for  and  about  their  men,  good  as  far  as 
their  technical  knowledge  and  the  mathematics  of 
gunnery  and  other  branches,  etc.,  takes  them, 
but  thoughtless  and  irresponsible  to  the  last 
degree  and  most  useful  experience  of  all  lacking, 
that  gained  by  barging  about  for  a  few  years 
among  all  sorts  and  conditions  of  men.  The 
O.T.C.  is  a  vast  and  ghastly  mistake;  it  teaches 
schoolboys  to  think — though  acting  as  privates, 
etc. — they  are  already  born  to  rule  and  needn't 


130  THE  REAL  THING 

think  of  anything  but  the  time  when  they  leave 
their  cadetships  to  become  lieutenants.  I  may 
have  H.'s  young  cousin  commanding  me  next 
year,  whom  we  looked  after  as  a  schoolboy 
in  our  house  last  year  !  !  The  worst  of  it  is 
tremendous  difficulties  are  in  the  way  of  a  man 
once  in  the  firing  line  taking  a  commission.  No 
colonel  wishes  to  lose  his  men,  who,  after  all, 
do  the  fighting  and  lay  the  guns  for  him.  Had  I 
known  I  would  have  spent  my  spare  evenings 
when  in  training  at  C.  in  polishing  up  my  tri- 
gonometry, and  certainly  never  left  England 
without  a  commission.  Out  here  it  needs  strong 
political  pressure  to  get  discharge  for  leave  to 
return  to  England  and  work  up  commission  unless 
you  are  in  a  regiment  of  "  class,"  "  Queen's 
Westminsters,"  "  London  Scottish,"  "  Artist 
Rifles,"  and  the  like.  Yet  there  is  better  material 
for  officers  amongst  the  hundreds  of  gentlemen 
out  here  as  privates,  troopers,  gunners,  and 
sappers  who  have  had  actual  fighting  than  the 
O.T.C.  could  raise  from  the  public  schools  in 
loo  years.  I  am  not  grousing,  but  we  are  all 
of  the  same  opinion,  and  it  relieves  matters  to 
let  loose  one's  opinions  sometimes,  especially 
when  living  under  pressure  of  severe  discipline. 
I  am  afraid  it  will  go  very  ill  with  the  Germans 
once  we  do  advance ;  they  will  have  no  mercy 
from  the  armies  that  are  so  fed  up  with  the  state 


A  COSY  DUG-OUT  131 

of  affairs  that  the  pigheaded  arrogance  of  the 
Germans  has  brought  about.  Someone  has  told 
me  C.  is  out  here.  What  division  is  he  in  ? 
I  wonder  if  we  shall  ever  meet !  Whatever  will 
you  do  without  us !  No  more  now  ;  I  must  get 
on  duty  after  splitting  a  tin  of  borrowed  Macon- 
ochie  with  F.,  who  is  now  on  duty. 

August  list,  191 5. 

I  am  afraid  lately  my  letters  have  been  few  and 
far  between,  but  now  we  are  having  quite  a  slack 
time  sitting  tight  and  doing  nothing,  having 
moved  our  position  to  a  very  safe  set  of  gun 
emplacements  which  the  enemy  cannot  find  by 
plane  or  shell.  So  we  are  rather  in  the  way  of 
enjoying  a  holiday,  as  it  has  been  gorgeous 
weather  and  the  country  round  looking  fine.  .   .   . 

We  have  now  completed  our  dug-outs,  and 
the  signallers  are  about  five  minutes'  walk  to 
right-rear  of  the  guns,  two  men  in  each.  F.,  an 
Oxford  undergrad.,  and  myself  have  one,  very 
small  but  awfully  cosy,  just  room  for  two  of  us  to 
lie  down  and  not  quite  to  stand  up ;  but  I  have 
put  a  fireplace  in  it,  as  we  are  allowed  to  have 
covered  fires  at  night,  when  smoke  can't  be  seen, 
and  we  brew  ourselves  stews  and  stew  ourselves 
brews  on  it.  In  a  clay  niche  in  the  wall,  lined 
with  paper,  I  have  my  library  of  magazines 
and  papers  H.  sent  me,  and  all  sorts  and  con- 


132  THE  REAL  THING 

ditions  of  garments  hang  on  the  walls,  including 
a  Punch  cartoon  or  two.  F.  has  to  put  the  fire 
out  before  he  lies  down,  otherwise — his  head 
being  almost  in  the  ash-place — hot  bits  of  wood 
would  singe  his  already  thinned  locks.  He  is 
working — or  was — for  a  professorship  in  Maths. 
So  you  see  many  an  agile  brain  beats  under 
khaki  putties !  .  .  . 

I  went  into  the  village  to-day  about  a  mile  in 
rear  and  astonished  myself  by  the  ease  with 
which  I  can  converse  with  the  natives  and 
understand  them,  and  they  are  as  pleased  as  a 
dog  with  ten  tails  when  they  find  a  soldier  who 
can  understand  them  as  well  as  talk  to  them, 
and  needless  to  say  not  a  shred  of  what  I  learned 
at  school  has  been  of  the  remotest  use,  for  so  far 
I  haven't  had  occasion  to  ask  the  keeper  of  a 
general  store  if  she  "  has  the  pen  of  the  gardener's 
aunt."  If  I  had  I  would  bet  a  gunner's  pay  she 
would  answer,  "  No,  but  I  have  some  food  of  the 
grandchild  of  my  husband's  brother."  And  how 
could  one  keep  up  an  entente  cordiale  on  that 
sort  of  thing  ? 

In  the  trenches  again. 

August  2^th,  191 5. 

There  are  two  things  that  militate  against 
appetite,  viz. — not  to  put  too  fine  a  point  upon  it — 


CAPTURED  GERMAN  TRENCHES         133 

stinks.  What  with  the  terrible  number  of  dead 
about  here  and  the  appalHng  smell  of  chlorate 
of  lime — supposed  to  deodorise  the  other — the 
food  of  twelve  months'  unbroken  bully,  bread, 
and  jam,  palls,  and  you  cannot  eat  at  regular 
intervals,  but  it  is  good  to  have  something  to 
chump  just  when  you  like  and  when  you  can  get 
away  from  smells.  The  two  aforementioned 
dodge  one  another  along  every  trench,  neither 
overcoming  the  other,  but  both  not  so  much 
offending  the  nose  as  gripping  you  in  the  midriff 
with  a  horrible  continuous  nausea.  I  am  now 
sitting  upon  the  top  of  our  telephone  dug-out 
in  the  trenches  for  air,  but  amply  protected  by 
the  parapet  in  front,  into  which  bullets  keep 
cracking  like  the  crack  of  a  rifle,  while  others 
buzz,  whine  or  flick  over  the  top  according  to 
whether  they  are  spent,  ricochets  or  directs.  I 
will  try  and  describe  these  trenches,  so  different 
from,  yet  so  ahke  to  those  before  Messines ; 
but  before  that,  will  explain  why  I  am  here. 
The  signallers  have  to  spend  four  days  in  the 
trenches,  four  days  back  with  the  battery  as 
signallers,  three  in  the  forward  observing  trench 
and  one  with  the  battery  as  gunners  to  keep  our 
hand  in  ;  so  that  the  twelve  men  keep  on  chang- 
ing with  one  another  in  groups  of  three  every 
four  days. 

These  are  captured  German  trenches,  the  old 


134  THE  REAL  THING 

front  of  course  being  now  the  back.  The  parapets, 
unlike  the  neat  ones  of  sandbags  at  Messines,  are 
just  heaped-up  earth  out  of  which  stick  every- 
where straps,  pieces  of  clothing,  equipment, 
cartridges,  tins,  wood,  smashed  wire  and  here 
and  there  a  bit  of  rifle,  and  all  round  (when  one 
can  climb  out  on  the  top  on  a  misty  dawn  unseen) 
are  bodies  lying  just  as  they  fell  with  the  earth 
heaped  over  them  a  few  inches  in  depth,  some- 
times a  boot,  hand  or  other  part  exposed,  with 
smashed  barbed  wire  everywhere  except  in  front, 
where,  of  course,  it  is  intact,  rigid  and  very 
formidable.  {Note. — A  shell  burst  over  a  trench 
to  the  right,  occupied  by  some  Scotch  at  least 
700  yards  away,  and  a  piece  of  shell  has  just 
hit  the  ground  a  couple  of  yards  off  with  an  awful 
whang.  I  consider  myself  very  lucky,  as  twice 
before  Messines  I  was  hit  by  high  explosive  on 
the  hand  and  knee,  but  only  hard  enough  to  raise 
bruises,  while  at  the  same  time  a  man  was  killed 
and  two  wounded  within  ten  yards  of  me.)  Well, 
to  continue :  Along  both  sides  of  the  trench  are 
pegged  with  staples,  or  forked  sticks,  wires,  in- 
fantry and  artillery,  some  of  the  latter  shooting 
away  across  the  open  and  only  patrollable  by 
night.  Twenty  wires  make  a  dive  into  this 
infantry  headquarter  dug-out.  One  is  ours — 
hence  us  !  In  the  front  of  the  parapet  are 
dug  sort  of  shelves  variously  marked — bombs. 


GUARDING  SECRET  MESSAGES  135 

verey  lights,  rockets,  etc.  At  the  corner  of  each 
transverse  stands  a  sentry  always  on  duty  and 
occasionally  firing  through  a  loophole  or  over 
the  top.  The  rest  only  "  stand  to  "  and  fire  at 
certain  times,  or  when  attacks  are  on.  Orderlies, 
sergeants,  corporals,  officers  push  their  way  up 
and  down  here  and  there  on  various  jobs;  but 
everything  gravitates  to  the  signallers'  dug-out, 
where  messages,  reports,  inquiries  and  commands 
are  constantly  being  received  and  sent,  so  that 
we  hear  most  interesting  things.  Most  of  it  we 
have  to  buzz  in  Morse  code,  not  speak,  as  to  have 
four  infantry  and  two  or  three  artillery  opera- 
tors all  speaking  confidential  or  secret  messages 
together  would  be  pandemonium,  and  there  would 
be  a  knot  of  listeners  at  the  top.  A  signaller, 
whether  in  the  ranks  or  N.C.O.,  has  authority 
to  place  under  arrest  anyone  listening  to  or  over- 
looking a  message,  whoever  he  may  be. 

So  far  we  have  been  lucky  with  this  wire  since 
coming  in  yesterday.  The  last  time  I  was  on 
at  the  battery  three  days  ago  the  infantry  wire 
was  smashed  by  shell  fire  four  times  in  one  six 
hours,  and  I  had  to  patrol  it  half-way,  the  sig- 
naller in  infantry  coming  out  to  meet  me,  and  in 
each  case  it  was  near  about  the  middle,  so  that 
each  of  us  had  to  go  till  we  met.  Sometimes  it 
is  only  a  yard  or  two  from  either  end,  and  only 
takes  five  minutes  to  mend.     Each  station  rings 


136  THE  REAL  THING 

up,  or  rather  buzzes  up  by  Morse  calls,  every 
other  station  it  is  in  communication  with  every 
quarter  of  an  hour,  so  you  can  soon  tell  if  your 
wire  is  intact. 

Note. — I  have  just  heard  that  two  were  killed 
and  three  wounded  by  the  burst  that  I  mentioned 
earlier.  This  afternoon,  being  off  for  four  hours, 
I  went  back  to  the  battery  to  get  any  letters, 
and  was  rewarded  by  three  and  a  paper.  Much 
"  bon  for  the  soldats."  It  is  a  two-mile  zigzag 
curly  walk  through  the  trench  and  then  another 
mile  to  the  battery,  though,  of  course,  as  the 
crow  flies,  it  is  not  farther  than  from  A.  to  the 
beach  at  Eastbourne  (I  must  not  say  what  range, 
otherwise  the  Germans  would  know  it  exactly). 
On  the  way  back  I  lay  down  and  read  them. 
It  was  such  a  whiff — almost  environment  of 
home  to  me,  and  as  good  as  a  tonic  to  read  A.'s 
description  of  C.'s  and  M.'s  tour  through  and 
all  over  Warwick,  Kenilworth,  Stratford  and 
Evesham,  the  scenes  of  so  many  of  my  jolly  bike 
trips  and  photographings.  I  lay  on  the  ground 
looking  at  the  sky  and  imagined  I  had  just  got 
off  my  bike  by  Kenilworth  Castle.  The  sky 
being  the  one  part  of  the  visible  universe  I  can 
look  at  without  being  reminded  of  the  war. 
The  result  was  as  good  as  a  holiday,  and  I  feel 
quite  bucked  and  able  to  finish  the  war  on  my 
own.     Then  the  sky  became  uninspiring,  for  with 


ENCOURAGING  THE   GERM/VNS  !         137 

a  distant  swish  and  a  bang,  shrapnel  began 
bursting  over  a  "  working  party"  about  half  a 
mile  off.  A  flash  of  white  flame  fifty  feet  up, 
a  white  puff  of  smoke,  and  a  black-green  one 
that  gradually  mixed,  and  a  hurried  scattering 
of  ant-like  figures  beneath.  For  myself,  I  was 
quite  safe,  being  only  a  single  (though  married) 
figure  and  probably  unobserved  altogether, 
though  frequently  one  gets  "  sharpshotted " 
at  by  watchful  German  sentries.  As  a  retalia- 
tion a  100  lb.  howitzer  shell  or  two  was  fired  by  a 
howitzer  battery  about  half  a  mile  to  a  mile  in 
rear  of  our  guns,  the  shell  tearing  overhead  with 
the  sound  of  a  trolly  running  down  a  jetty.  The 
only  way  I  can  make  you  reahze  the  sound  of 
the  six-inch  howitzer  being  fired  is  to  get  you  to 
put  your  head  into  a  large  empty  tin  jug  and  shout 
"  TooMBB  "  as  loudly  and  sepulchrally  as  possible ; 
that  will  give  you  some  idea  of  the  ear-thumping 
bang  such  a  gun  gives  at  half-mile  distance. 

To-day — that  is,  since  this  evening — we  have 
had  some  fun.  The  Germans  have  been  driving 
a  sap  towards  us.  We  have  watched  the  fresh 
earth  growing  nearer  and  nearer,  the  flash  of 
spades  every  now  and  then,  and  let  them  work 
as  far  as  possible  for  safety,  just  to  encourage  the 
beggars.  And  then  early  this  evening  the  2nd 
battery  got  the  angle  and  range:  first  shell  100 
yards  over,  just  to  prevent  them  running  back 


138  THE   REAL  THING 

to  their  fire  trench;  second  shell  just  about  over 
the  end  of  the  sap ;  then  a  high  explosive,  to 
burst  on  percussion,  from  us,  and  one  from  the 
heavy  battery  behind  us  just  to  smash  in  all 
the  work  they  had  done.  That's  all;  but  to-night 
we  have  two  of  our  guns  laid  on  the  saphead 
again,  and  the  infantry  listening  post  will  be 
out ;  if  there  are  signs  of  work  being  continued, 
word  will  come  to  me  on  the  'phone,  the  listening 
post  will  come  in,  and  it  will  fall  to  my  lot  to 
give  the  word  "  action"  down  the  wire  ;  thirty 
seconds  after,  a  shell  will  burst  over  or  on  the 
saphead,  and  the  Germans  will  get  very  fed  up 
and  shell  our  trenches  and  batteries  viciously 
all  the  next  day.  This  has  often  happened,  and 
we  remain  silent,  and  then  after  they  have  spat 
out  their  anger  and  think  they  have  blown  away 
every  gun  on  the  face  of  the  earth  we  give  them 
a  battery  salvo,  as  do  other  batteries,  just  one 
shell  fired  from  each  of  the  four  guns  at  once,  to 
show  them  we  are  still  all  alive  and  smiling  ;  it 
is  a  form  of  humour  that  irritates  them  tre- 
mendously. 

1 1.5 1  p.m.  (continued).  Funnily  enough  I 
have  just  given  the  order  for  two  rounds  to  be 
fired  and  they  have  just  gone  off  and  a  beetle 
has  dropped  on  my  head,  but  I  can't  guarantee 
that  there  is  any  connection  between  the  two. 
I  mentioned  in  my  last  letter  that  leave  was  being 


"DRAWING"  FOR  LEAVE  139 

allowed  to  this  division  at  the  rate  of  one  man 
per  battery  or  company  per  week — that  is,  we 
reckoned  that  the  whole  battery  would  have  had 
their  leave  within  just  three  years ;  nevertheless 
it  was  to  go  by  "  drawing,"  and  the  chance  was 
about  I  in  800  that  I  got  mine.  Now  once 
more,  for  the  twentieth  time  since  last  August, 
"Leave  is  stopped,"  and  all  the  aortic  regurgita- 
tion due  to  excitement  of  contemplating  leave, 
even  in  such  minute  chances,  has  been  wasted  ; 
life  is  once  more  a  blank,  and  the  weight  of  the 
war  with  its  dragging  and  waiting  clogs  one's 
spirits  as  the  collapse  of  a  wet  tent  does  one's 
body  !  Now  there  are  rumours  of  another  shift 
from  this  position,  but  where  and  when  rumour 
doesn't  say.  But  don't  let  that  cause  anyone 
who  was  going  to  write  (or  send  a  parcel)  to 
refrain  from  doing  so,  as  letters  and  parcels 
always  follow  up  behind,  and  both  are  so  welcome 
on  the  move  and  when  settling  down  before 
rations  get  fixed  up.  Talking  of  rations  (and  I 
am  afraid  I  have  talked  a  great  deal  of  them 
lately),  it  is  a  singular  coincidence  that  of  our 
bread  and  jam,  the  staple  diet,  in  fact  practically 
the  only  diet  just  now  besides  bread  and  biscuit, 
the  jam  part  should  be  black  currant,  the  one 
jam  I  loathe  heartily,  though  a  luxury  to  most 
of  the  others  after  T.'s  plum  and  apple  varied 
only  by  T.'s  apple  and  plum. 


I40  THE  REAL  THING 

Of  course  when  we  go  into  reserve,  as  we  did 
for  a  month  at  Ferfay  and  Thievres,  we  get 
meat  in  abundance — as  our  drivers  in  the  waggon 
line  do  now — also  corn  and  wine  and  oil,  the 
former  for  the  horses  and  the  latter  for  the  har- 
ness and  appointments.  The  wine  we  can  pur- 
chase or  drink  only  between  11.30  "  ac  emma  " 
(a.m.)  and  1.30  "pip  emma"  (midday),  and 
6 — 7  "  pip  emma  "  (at  night),  when  the  esta- 
minets,  cabarets,  debits  de  boissons,  etc.,  are 
open.  They  charge  zjd.  for  a  small  glass  of 
vin  blanc,  vin  rouge  or  citron.  I  generally  have 
a  mixture  much  resembling  weak  cider  of  "  vang 
blong  et  ceetrong"  together,  but  the  nearest 
estaminet  is  one  and  half  miles  behind  our  bat- 
tery, so  it  is  a  rare  treat. 

I  am  afraid  I  go  rambling  on  with  a  lot  of 
drivel,  but  some  things  are  so  rummy  out  here 
that  when  I  have  time  I  like  to  get  'em  off  my 
chest  to  keep  me  from  busting  with  laughter. 
Like  poor  Balbus  Agricola  of  the  Latin  exercise 
who  "  Rupto  Corpore  Jacet,"  according  to  Virgil ! 
It  is  a  penny  scream  to  go  into  an  epicerie  and 
listen  to  "  Tommy "  buying  his  groceries.  I 
usually  perhaps  chaff  the  woman  a  bit  and  give 
her  a  few  sentences  of  my  best  French  in  the 
vain  hope  that  she'll  think  I  know  what  the 
prices  of  things  really  ought  to  be,  and  will  con- 
sequently take  a  franc  or  so  off  the  price  of  a  small 


"SLINGING  THE   BAT"  141 

tin  of  fruit ;  but  it  is  never  any  use,  and  I  have 
to  pay  two  francs  for  a  loH.  tin  of  fruit  and  one 
franc  for  a  3id.  tin  of  sardines.  A  "Tommy" 
hearing  me  babbling  wildly  in  what  he  takes  to 
be  French,  first  looks  at  me  to  see  if  he  should 
salute,  and  then  probably  says  : 

"'Ere  choom,  watter  they  call  them  there 
things  in  them  tins  ?  "  Of  course  I  generally 
do  the  whole  deal  for  him,  but  often  I  don't,  so 
as  to  enjoy  an  inward  chortle  on  hearing  him — 
prompted  by  myself — ask  for  "  serrisses  ong 
boyt "  {cerises  en  boite)  or  "  botool  der  vynn- 
blong  "  or  even  "  vin  blank"  !  Sometimes  he 
will  come  in  with  a  worried  but  defiant  look 
on  his  face  and  ask  in  a  loud  tone,  "  Pang  ?  " — 
"  Unn  loaf,  yer  know,  maddermessel,"  at  the 
same  time  probably  wishing  he  could  make  a 
noise  like  a  piece  of  bread  for  her  behoof.  The 
answer  is  generally  the  loaf  and  a  murmured 
"  Quatre  vingt,  m'sieu."  "  What  the  blank, 
blank,  does  she  mean  by  that?"  '"Ere,  take 
it  outer  this,  ma  cherry.  Blimey,  they'll  diddle 
yer  any  road" — addressing  me  and  the  woman 
alternately. 

It  is  a  funny  thing  that  the  shopkeepers  never 
talk  of  centimes,  but  always  of  sous.  They  say 
a  thing  is  "  soixante-quinze "  but  "  quinzc 
sous,"  both  of  course  meaning  the  same. 


142  THE  REAL  THING 

September  lyth,  iSth,  and  igth,  191 5. 

You  are  all  just  beginning  to  think  about 
harvest  festivals,  of  which  we  are  vividly- 
reminded  by  the  millions  of  apples  and  pears 
rotting  on  the  trees  and  the  ground — for  this  is 
the  orchard  district,  and  we  eat  a  good  many  of 
the  apples,  though  most  trees  are  small  cider 
apples,  and  the  pears  are  still  green.  Probably 
the  rotting  fruit  is  one  reason  why  we  have  so 
many  "  brass  "  flies,  i.e.,  big  green  flies  of  the 
bluebottle  size,  which  shine  like  brass  when  the 
sun  is  on  them,  but  they  kill  well  and  are  easy 
to  "  strafe."  We  shall  be  able  to  join  you  in 
at  any  rate  one  hymn — altered  to  fit  circum- 
stances :  "  We  plough  the  fields  and  scatter 
the  good — shells — on  the  ground." 

I  can  hardly  imagine  that  there  was  ever  a 
time  when  I  was  able  to  sleep  through  a  whole 
night  and  not  run  the  risk  of  imprisonment  or 
death  for  not  going  on  duty  at  a  certain  hour. 
And  there  are  times  when  I  wonder  whether  I 
shall  ever  be  a  free  citizen  again,  able  to  wash 
daily  and  as  often  daily  as  I  like — at  present  the 
highest  ambition  a  soldier  is  capable  of  feeling  ! 
We  have  a  well  not  far  from  our  billet — at  which 
we  spend  one  night  out  of  three,  in  turn  ;  the 
well  is  200  feet  deep,  at  the  bottom  of  which 
France  keeps  some  rather  dirty,  malodorous 
water.    It  is  understood  that  the  man  who  draws 


CATS  V.  RATS  143 

a  bucket  of  same — ten  minutes'  hard  work — is 
entitled  to  the  first  wash  in  it. 

You'd  hke  to  hear  about  our  billet.  It  is  a  small 
cottage  in  an  orchard  with  the  typical  ladder  up 
from  the  hall  into  the  garret  where,  according  to 
French  and  Belgian  custom,  all  disused  clothes, 
old  books,  stores  of  corn  and  rice,  articles  of  house 
hold  and  agricultural  furniture  and  anything  else 
in  the  house  that  is  frowsy,  decrepit  or  broken  is 
stored,  and  where  the  cats  and  the  rats  struggle 
for  supremacy.  The  southern  end  of  the  roof 
is  sheared  off  by  a  shell,  and  there  is  only  one 
pane  in  the  windows  and  a  few  tiles  on  the  roof, 
most  of  the  woodwork  and  the  windows  being 
"concussed "  out  as  well  as  the  glass,  and  the  wall 
against  which  I  sleep  is  slit  from  top  to  bottom  at 
each  of  two  corners  and  leans  drunkenly  out- 
wards. The  brick  floors,  however,  are  intact, 
and,  in  spite  of  the  slight  coating  of  deceased 
beetle  that  won't  brush  away,  forms  a  dry  if 
springless  bed.  There  is  a  shell  hole  in  the  garden 
which  saved  us  the  trouble  of  digging  a  rubbish 
and  tin  pit. 

To-day  I  am  sitting  in  the  orchard  writing 
this,  and  the  Germans  are  getting  busy.  To  get 
an  idea  of  the  effect,  sit  in  our  orchard  at  T.,  and 
imagine  first  a  shell  bursting  on  the  lawn,  another 
in  the  air  over  the  stables,  with  the  bits  dropping 
all   round   beyond   one,  another  on  the  house 


144  THE  REAL  THING 

and  in  the  duck  pond.  There !  that  last  was  a 
close  one,  about  twenty  yards  away ;  it  has 
brought  down  a  pear  tree,  but  it  is  really  safer 
outdoors  than  in.  I  would  rather  risk  being 
hit  by  a  piece  of  shell  than  crushed  in  a  building. 
They  are  putting  us  through  it  to-day  (and 
yesterday).  One  of  our  men  was  hit  above  the 
knee  yesterday.  Lucky  beggar,  that  will  mean 
England  for  certain.  Now  ours  are  replying — 
several  batteries  of  them;  the  artillery  duel 
department  is  in  full  swing — wish  I  were  at  the 
guns  to-day — shall  be  after  8  p.m.  to-night. 

Yesterday  I  was  at  the  observing  station,  and 
on  the  way  there  saw  two  men  hit  out  by  a  high 
burst,  one  in  the  face  and  the  other  from  behind 
in  the  shoulder  blade  ;  they  were  draining  our 
forward  observing  trench  with  a  party  on  fatigue. 
We  had  a  heavy  shelling  yesterday  all  day,  to 
which  we  replied  in  kind  towards  afternoon. 
They  shelled  our  observing  station  unmercifully 
with  the  high  velocity  shells  (whizz-bangs),  which 
explode  just  as  you  hear  the  swish  of  their 
approach  ;  there  is  no  getting  out  of  the  way  or 
falling  flat  possible,  but  we  all  got  in  the  dug-out 
and  observed  the  spasms  of  shelling,  thus  spotting 
another  hostile  battery.  All  day  heavy  howitzer 
shells  from  miles  behind  the  German  lines  were 
rumbling  overhead,  falling  on  or  near  the  villages, 
batteries,  etc.,  all  over  the  plain,  with  tremendous 


NARROW  SHAVES  145 

explosions  as  regular  as  a  services  of  buses,  and 
the  quick  swishing  scream  of  their  field  guns, 
mostly  falling  on  our  trenches  or  to  rear  near 
batteries.  If  the  scream,  which  you  can  hear 
for  about  three  seconds  before  the  burst,  ap- 
proaches to  a  sort  of  shriek  you  know  it  is  going 
to  burst  very  near,  and  there  is  just  time  to  fall 
flat  to  escape  the  air  pressure  ;  you  can  do 
nothing  to  escape  bits  if  they  come  your  way,  so 
it's  no  use  trying.  We  have  had  more  narrow 
shaves  lately  than  all  the  previous  months. 
Yesterday  F.  got  up  to  go  into  the  observing 
dug-out  and  a  jagged  piece  of  shell  bunged  into 
the  earth  just  where  he  had  been  sitting  a  few 
seconds  before  ;  we  dug  it  out,  a  piece  as  big 
as  one's  palm.  Then  about  4  p.m.  we  replied  for 
a  frontage  and  rearage!  of  about  a  mile,  field  guns 
in  front,  howitzers  in  rear,  and  heavies  behind 
that.  The  2nd  battery  was  not  in  that  "  straf- 
ing." I  think  altogether  yesterday  we  (the 
2nd)  only  fired  ten  rounds,  but  batteries  on  the 
British  front  are  so  thick  on  the  ground  that  you 
trip  over  them  as  you  walk — in  a  manner  of 
speaking. 

Now  they  ("  them  Germins  ")  have  begun  again 
this  morning  and  are  going  for  this  poor  village 
in  the  manner  described  before.  They  have 
left  this  immediate  neighbourhood  and  are 
bursting  now  mostly  round  the  British  cemetery 


146  THE  REAL  THING 

about  150  yards  off   and   at   the  front   of    the 
village  where  the  trenches  begin  about  400  yards 
in  the  other  direction. 
Shrapnel   bursts   thus  : 

^z=^-:.-.-  •  .  .  .  . 

..  '•^^.•'        •    .^     V.  - 

•   .  ^    ,   ,    ,  -«»     *^  •    '  s       "\ 

»  •     ■    .       'v    •       •«.        «w        '^ 


.   V        V. 


The  head  or  "  fuse "  of  brass  or  aluminium 
flies  off  and  the  bullets,  235  of  them,  spread  for- 
wards as  above,  the  shell  usually  falling  whole, 
sometimes  splitting. 

High  explosive  bursts  thus  : 

.*   ^  V^, '^.■'• 
-  .'  ^    \^-^^<^\--   -'  - 

Area  of  700 — 800  yards  over  which  bits  spread. 

In  this  case  the  shell  is  thicker,  and  there  are 
(except  in  the  case  of  high  explosive  shrapnel) 
no   shrapnel   bullets   in   it,  but   the  shell  itself 


THE  MARK  ON  A  COTTAGE  WAIX     147 

bursts  into  pieces  mostly  averaging  size  of  a 
penny,  but  one  to  two  inches  thick  and  jagged, 
and  they  spread  backwards  and  sideways  as  well 
as  forwards — an  important  matter  in  shelling 
trenches,  buildings,  etc.  High  explosive  burst- 
ing "  on  percussion  "  moves  the  landscape,  trees, 
houses,  and  anything  that  is  in  the  way.  Our 
field  guns  use  both  sorts  of  shell  both  as  "  time  " 
and  "  percussion"  ;  so,  of  course,  do  other  nations. 
A  few  minutes'  walk  away,  on  the  wall  of  our 
Brigade  office — another  cottage — is  the  nasty 
mark  where  a  shell  lifted  someone  against  the 
wall  of  the  cottage  about  ten  feet  up.  Another 
yesterday  burst  five  yards  in  front  of  the  Brigade 
office,  bent  the  windows  and  nearly  removed  the 
Doctor  and  the  Adjutant,  not  to  mention  two 
or  three  brigade  signallers.  The  two  former  are 
two  topping  men,  such  gentlemen,  and  they  treat 
the  men  so  decently.  The  former  I  have  only 
spoken  to  on  rare  occasions ;  when  he  "  wangled" 
me  through  last  September,  when  I  was  inocu- 
lated, and  now  when  he  got  me  through  the 
medical  examination  for  a  commission.  I  enclose 
a  letter  written  to  the  paper  which  shows  the 
only  difficulty  I  am  up  against  (together  with 
several  other  men  who  have  handed  in  their 
"Comm."  papers  to  the  Colonel).  So  few  seem 
to  understand  the  situation  out  here.  However 
much   a    man    is    cultured    and   however   well- 


148  THE   REAL  THING 

educated  and  well  connected,  if  he  is  a  private 
or  a  gunner  he  is  under  the  same  discipline  and 
receives  the  same  treatment  as  a  ticket-of-leave 
man  recruited  off  the  streets.  To  begin  with, 
you  must  understand  we  are  not  allowed  to 
speak  to  an  officer  at  all  unless  spoken  to,  or 
brought  before  him  by  a  N.C.O.  So  I  went 
through  the  whole  gamut.  I  got  permission 
from  my  sergeant  to  apply  for  a  commission  ; 
he  took  me  before  my  section  commander, 
Lieut.  E.,  with  whom  I  had  a  talk  over  it,  and, 
finally,  I  got  his  permission  to  be  taken  to  the 
Colonel  commanding  the  2nd  battery,  a  sergeant 
taking  me.  And  of  that  interview  more  anon. 
The  Battery  Commander  has  no  say  in  the  matter 
beyond  recommending  me  to  the  Brigade  Com- 
mander, Colonel (who  commands  1st,  2nd 

and  3rd  batteries  and  ammunition  column).  He 
alone  signs  the  forms  finally — after  seeing  me — 

and  he  alone  recommends  me  to  General 

to  be  seen  in  turn  by  him,  the  latter  being  the 
Commander  R.  A.  for  this  Division.  .  .  . 

We  twelve  signallers  from  to-day  have  three 
on  the  sick  list,  so  will  have  to  work  our  various 
shifts  of  duty  in  couples  instead  of  threes.  Leave 
is  stopped  again,  so  my  one  chance  in  145  of 
being  drawn  as  the  lucky  man  to  go  on  leave  for 
five  days  has  faded  away  again  ;  about  five,  I 
think,  have  been  in  this  battery,  so  the  chance  is 


A  NARROW  ESCAPE  149 

1/140  !  !  when  leave  does  start.  I  may  possibly 
be  the  last  name  drawn  and  come  home  140 
weeks  after  leave  next  commences. 

September  i^th^  191 5. 

We  are  as  happy  as  sandboys  now  that  the 
days  of  inactivity  are  over,  i.e.,  as  regards  the 
possibility  of  moving  forward.  I  am  in  the 
trenches  observing  for  four  days  now,  and  we 
are  having  a  fine  time,  terrific  artillery  fighting 
going  on,  and  magnificent  results.  Our  ears  are 
ringing  and  we  can  only  shout  at  one  another 
and  Morse  down  the  telephone;  voices  can't  be 
heard. 

F.,  Lieut.  T.,  and  I  had  the  escape  of  our  lives. 
We  were  in  the  front  line  trenches,  in  a  dug-out 
facing  the  Germans'  barbed  wire,  observing  and 
telephoning  the  results  of  our  fire.  It  was  not 
long  before  the  Germans  spotted  the  small  loop- 
hole, and  knowing  its  use,  shelled  us  heavily 
for  half  an  hour.  About  twenty-five  fell  and 
burst  about  six  feet  behind,  on  and  over  the  rear 
of  the  trench,  about  twenty  burst  in  front ;  but 
our  dug-out  was  all  ways  three  sandbags  thick,  and 
only  earth  came  flying  through  the  loophole  and 
through  our  back  entrance.  T.  casually  said, "  I'm 
going  to  clear  out  of  this,  as  they  will  be  sure  to 
get  a  direct  hit,  and  then  we  can't  observe." 
So  we  all  three  scrambled  out  of  the  trench, 


ISO  THE  REAL  THING 

which  is  only  three  feet  wide  at  the  top  and  one 
foot  at  the  bottom,  and  six  inches  deep  in  mud 
after  one  day's  rain.  We  had  not  straightened 
our  backs  from  crawling  out  before  the  next 
shell  hit  full  on  the  sandbags  at  the  side  of  the 
observing  hole.  The  whole  front  smashed  in, 
and  the  fuse  (the  brass  cap  of  the  shell,  about 
2  lbs.  weight)  drove  through  the  back  three 
sandbags  as  well  and  fell  into  the  trench  just 
behind  us,  one  foot  behind  where  I  was  standing 
messing  about  with  the  telephone  wire  ;  we  were 
covered  all  over  with  an  inch  of  earth — eyes,  ears, 
neck,  all  filled  with  it.  T.  was  the  last  man 
looking  through  the  loop-hole  in  the  dug-out ; 
had  he  stayed  one  minute  more  the  fuse  would 
have  caught  him  just  about  neck  level  and  swept 
his  head  off  and  ours  behind  him,  as  there  is  only 
just  room  for  the  three  to  squash  in,  the  first 
looking  out,  the  second  behind  him,  the  third 
leaning  against  the  back  or  standing  in  the  tiny 
doorway,  room  being  scarce  when  every  dug-out 
has  to  be  made  so  strongly.  I  am  writing  to-day 
about  fifty  yards  from  the  same  spot  in  a  dug-out. 
T.  and  F.  are  observing,  and  I  relieve  the  latter 
in  one  hour.  They  have  found  a  new  place  to 
observe,  as  the  last  was  evidently  "  marked " 
and  too  unsteady  to  rebuild  to  use.  The  whole 
earth  is  shaking  with  explosions,  as  the  Germans 
are  shelling  our  barbed  wire  front  trenches  and 


THE  RED  TRAIL  151 

communicating  trenches  with  great  ferocity, 
and  walking  about  unless  on  duty  is  unwise. 
The  trench  two  yards  outside  my  door  is  in  a 
terrible  state  from  the  numbers  of  wounded  that 
have  been  carried  through,  and  if  you  did  not 
know  where  to  find  the  communicating  trench 
out  of  the  firing  line,  you  could  follow  the  trail 
of  red  smears  and  splashes,  now  gradually 
washing  away  with  the  insistent  rain.  The 
trenches  have  to  be  so  narrow  and  tortuous  that 
stretchers  cannot  possibly  be  carried  through 
them,  so  small  seats  are  used  with  pairs  of  handles 
each  end  to  carry  men  out  in  a  sitting  position, 
which  some  don't  survive,  I  fear. 

Our  batteries  for  the  past  few  days  have  been 
pounded  heavily,  with  some  casualties.  You  can 
understand  why  our  telephone  wires  are  so 
frequently  cut,  and  require  such  frequent  patrol- 
ling and  mending  ;  wires  are  laid  direct  from 
battery  to  fire  trench  across  the  open  by  night, 
and  duplicates  are  laid  and  pegged  into  the  sides 
of  the  trenches,  and  the  shells  fall  in  and  on  them 
just  as  in  the  open ;  so  they  are  always  getting 
burst  by  the  time  we  come  out  and  return  to  the 
battery  to  give  place  to  three  others  for  four 
days.  It  will  be  a  relief  to  get  the  Germans 
out  in  the  open,  though  I  suppose  they  have 
prepared  reserve  positions  for  miles  back. 

Will  you  please  let  this  go  round,  but  H.  had 


152  THE  REAL  THING 

better  see  it  last  of  all ;  she  may  get  anxious  if 
she  knew  the  game  had  begun.  You  would 
laugh  to  see  us  now  :  no  leather  visible  on  boots, 
or  cloth  on  puttees  or  breeches  till  about  four 
inches  above  the  knee,  all  caked  in  mud,  shoul- 
ders too,  from  scraping  past  men  in  the  trenches. 
The  infantry  generally  have  a  word  to  say  to  us 
about  it,  such  as  "  Yo  ain  arf  a  putten  'em  thro' 
it  now,  choom,"  or  "  Yo  artillery  blokes  is 
injiyin'  yerselves  now."  They  know  us  as  artil- 
lery by  cap,  badge,  etc.,  but  most  of  us  signallers 
are  pretty  well  known  personally  in  many  regi- 
ments, and  have  many  good  friends  humble  and 
otherwise  amongst  them.  What  silly  details  my 
letters  must  seem  to  give  you  dear  home  people 
who  are  looking  for  big  results,  and  moves  of 
miles  by  army  corps,  and  who  cannot  realize,  as 
we  can  and  do,  what  it  means  to  gain  even  a  short 
length  of  the  enemy's  front  line  trench,  what 
organization,  what  preparation,  what  buzzing 
of  thousands  of  Morsed  messages  over  the  'phone 
or  by  lamps  or  helio  (only  used  in  emergencies). 
We  may  not  get  your  letters  for  a  week  now, 
though  you'll  get  ours,  I  hope,  as  the  transport 
goes  back  from  the  front  empty  more  or  less. 
I  washed  my  hands  in  my  mess  tin  with  a  cupful 
of  water,  otherwise  I  could  not  have  written, 
being  plastered  with  mud.  Water  is  a  jewel  of 
rarity  ;   it  is  a  two-mile  walk  each  way,  through 


CARRYING  OUT  THE  WOUNDED       153 

the  communication  trench,  to  fetch  it,  though 
as  the  crow  flies  ten  minutes'  walk  would  do  the 
trick  ;  we  can  only  fetch  it  at  certain  times. 
Food  also  has  to  be  fetched  from  the  same 
"  dump  "  behind  the  trenches,  though  one  of  our 
wire  patrols  was  good  enough  to  bring  ours  to-day 
■ — a  tin  of  Maconochie  and  three-quarter  loaf  of 
bread  for  three  signallers  here,  plus  dry  rations 
of  tea  and  sugar  for  twenty-four  hours'  food  !  ! 
No  jam  to-day — we  are  on  our  quarter  rations 
again — but  I  was  lucky  enough  to  be  able  to  goto 
a  village  two  miles  in  rear  of  our  guns  yesterday, 
before  coming  here,  and  got  a  precious  tin  of  pears 
and  some  chocolate,  so  we  are  the  envy  of  the 
infantry  signallers.  One  of  the  latter  yesterday 
was  hit  by  a  shell  full  in  the  back  and  killed 
instantly.  But  the  greatest  difficulty  is  dealing 
with  the  badly  wounded — e.g.^  this  morning  a 
man  had  his  leg  torn  from  thigh  to  ankle.  It  is 
very  awkward  to  carry  such  cases  out,  poor 
beggars ;  the  labour  is  enormous,  almost  killing 
to  the  stretcher-bearers.  I  helped  to  carry  a  man 
at  Neuve  Eglise  across  the  open  for  a  short  mile, 
and  shall  never  forget  it ;  here  it  is  over  two  miles 
of  torturous  trench-slipping  and  inches  of  mud  at 
that.  Dead  silence  has  "  rent  the  air"  for  the 
last  ten  minutes.  As  the  rain  is  so  thick,  no 
observing  can  take  place,  but  there  is  an  earth- 
trembling   sort   of   rumble   that   shows  there  is 


154  THE  REAL  THING 

heavy  firing  going  on  somewhere,  up  or  down  the 
line  fifteen  or  twenty  miles  away.  Everybody  is 
wonderfully  cheerful  and  smiling,  as  is  ever  the 
case  whenever  there  is  any  chance  of  "  strafing 
the  Hun  "  heavily,  and  it  bucks  you  up  and  makes 
you  think  we  shall  finish  them  off  before  Christ- 
mas !  But  as  we  tell  one  another,  the  first  seven 
years  of  a  war  are  the  worst,  so  we  expect  an 
easier  time  after  192 1  !  !  ! 

"  Great  Scott  !  "  We  had  a  bang  then  from  a 
German  heavy  gun,  burst  about  100  yards  away, 
dirt  and  bits  falling  in  all  directions,  and  shook 
the  ground.  There's  another  !  I  must  go  now 
on  duty  at  observing  station  about  100  yards 
off,  but  it  is  seven  minutes'  walk,  scramble,  slither 
and  slush  along  the  fire  trench.  .  .  . 

The  sixth  heavy  shell  has  fallen  since  I  wrote 
*'  Great  Scott  !  "  Could  someone  kindly  send 
a  pair  of  bootlaces,  some  shaving  soap  and  some 
disinfecting  soap  for  washing  clothes  and  self  ? 
No.  7  just  burst.  Here's  No.  8  !  Our  poor  ears  ; 
we  shall  be  as  deaf  as  the  old  woman  of  P.O.S.T. 
fame.  (N0.9  !)  They  are  firing  quickly  now  from 
heavy  howitzers.  (No  10  !  No.  ii  !)  A  battery 
of  heavies,  evidently.  (No.  12  !)  Cheer  oh!  See 
you  for  Christmas  (No.  13  !),  I  hope.  Excuse 
writing  (No.  14) ;  they'll  be  on  now  all  night  with 
a  field  gun  accompaniment. 


GERMAN  OBSERVERS  "SPOTTED"  155 
Sunday,  October  yd,  191 5. 

The  firing  on  both  sides  is  good,  but  on  the 
various  fronts  I  have  been  on,  ours  has  always 
been  consistently  better  than  theirs,  and  their  ob- 
serving stations  we  have  spotted  have  been  spread 
on  the  ground  after  about  three  ranging  shots  as 
a  rule.  I  remember  one  we  spotted  months  ago 
before  Messines ;  it  was  a  wee  red  brick  cottage 
where  one  day  we  thought  we  could  see  with 
telescope  and  glasses  that  a  slate  or  two  had 
been  shifted  from  the  roof  as  by  someone  who 
wanted  to  get  as  high  as  possible  to  observe. 
We  let  it  alone  for  about  three  weeks,  watching 
it  closely  daily,  not  wishing  to  waste  shots  to  no 
purpose ;  but  one  morning  the  German  observer 
evidently  got  up  a  few  minutes  too  late,  and  just 
at  dawn  a  man  was  seen  to  run  into  the  house 
followed  by  two  others  from  a  hedge.  The  first 
shot  we  put  there  was  100  yards  over,  the  second 
about  50  yards  short ;  the  third  pushed  the  house 
over  in  a  cloud  of  thick  dust.  .  .  . 

The  Colonel  was  very  pleased  with  the  work 
of  the  signallers  apparently  during  the  last 
show  ;  he's  been  quite  a  pleasant  old  beggar 
over  it. 

October  Sth,  191 5. 
Well,  we  have  been  through  the  mill  lately 
and  had  a  good  deal  of  heavy  "  strafing  "  about 


156  THE  REAL  THING 

which  we  mustn't  talk  as  yet.  I've  got  an  idea 
''  them  Germins"  will  be  thoroughly  sick  of  the 
British  armies  before  they  have  finished.  We 
made  no  advance  here,  not  intending  to,  on  this 
immediate  front  that  is ;  but  we  "  engaged  the 
enemy"  at  all  points,  and  the  earth  shook  so 
continuously  that  it  was  like  sitting  down  with 
a  large  cat  purring  on  your  lap  !  Try  it  and  see 
how  tremulous  the  result  is,  throw  in  an  earth- 
quake, several  close  gas  explosions  and  a  stiff 
hail  of  bits  of  steel,  nickel  and  iron,  together 
with  twenty  boys  beating  a  corrugated  iron  roof 
and  150  banging  large  drums,  and  you'll  have 
a  fair  idea  of  the  racket  entailed  by  engaging 
and  beating  off  a  lot  of  angry  people  made  in 
Germany.  The  singing  has  at  last  gone  quite 
out  of  one  ear  and  nearly  all  out  of  the  other, 
after  a  week  of  comparative  quiet.  At  the  time 
I  was  in  the  infantry  fire  trench  with  the  officer 
directing  the  fire  which  hashed  their  trenches  to 
pulp  and  tore  and  melted  their  barbed  wire  as 
if  it  had  been  cotton,  and  certainly  at  the  time 
we  never  had  much  hope  of  coming  through  it ; 
but  Lieut.  T.,  F.  and  I  had  a  most  merciful  and 
miraculous  series  of  escapes,  the  climax  of  which 
was  having  our  observing  post  pulped,  we  only 
escaping,  being  but  a  yard  away  down  in  the 
trench,  crouched  over  the  buzzer  telephone,  and 
missing  all  the  explosive  force  but  the  shower  of 


"BREAKING  THEIR  NERVE"  157 

earth  and  stones.   We — i.e.,  our  "  side" — have,  of 
course,  been  mercilessly  punishing  the  Germans 
every  night  as  they  strive  to  mend  their  wire  and 
adjust  their  smashed  parapets.     We  let  them  get 
the  parties  out  well  after  dusk,  and  our  infantry 
listenmg    posts     wait     until    they    hear    them 
thoroughly  estabhshed  at  work ;  then  up  goes  a 
flare  and  they  get  "  fifteen  rounds"  rapid  from 
rifles  and  machine  guns  laid  on  them  and,  if 
necessary,  the  guns  join  in  the  chorus.     They  do 
and  have  done  the  same  to  us,  of  course;  but  it  is 
breaking  their  nerve  badly,  and  frequently  they 
fire  hard  and  fast  from  their  trenches  for  half 
an  hour  at  intervals  through  the  night,  to  which 
we  either  give  no  response  or  just  a  dignified 
round  of  fire  from  one  battery,  four  bangs  at 
intervals  of  five  seconds  and  then  no  more.     Their 
bullets  strike  the  parapets  with  a  noise  greater 
than  the  discharge  of  a  rifle,  and  they  are  very 
thorough  in  their  method  of  fire.  So  many  machine 
guns  are  laid  before  night  at  about  knee  level 
so  as  to  catch  anyone  crawhng,  and  also  to  catch 
our  fellows  as  they  hop  over  their  own  parapets, 
80  many  more  level  with  top  of  our  parapets ; 
and  the  rifles  usually  as  follows.    Suppose  the 
distance  in  any  given  place  between  the  German 
and  British  fire  trench  is  300  yards,  rifles  will 
be  sighted  at  that,  of  course,  during  the  day;  but 
at  night  the  sights  are  raised  some  to  330,  350, 


158  THE  REAL  THING 

400,  etc.,  so  as  to  sweep  our  parapets  body  and 
head  height  and  also  at  ranges  to  hit  and  sweep 
our  reserve  trenches  to  ensure  a  good  supply  of 
bullets  falling  behind  these  as  well,  so  as  to  make 
it  uncomfortable  for  men  moving  in  the  open 
behind  the  lines  and  for  the  gun  positions,  for  the 
modern  German  rifle  has  a  range  (extreme)  of 
3,500  yards,  and  our  rifles  have  one  of  3,800 
yards. 

Have  you  heard  the  latest  joke.  If  not  you 
must  repeat  it  with  very  lugubrious  face.  Ask 
someone  if  they  have  heard  the  bad  news  about 
the  Navy.  They'll  say  "No."  Then  you  tell  them 
"  Our  Navy  has  utterly  failed,  as  it  has  been 
trying  for  fifteen  months  to  get  into  the  Kiel 
Canal  and  it  can't."  Then  add— "  There's  no 
room  !  " 

I  wonder  when  the  German  Navy  will  come  out 
of  Kiel  and  do  its  boasted  blockade  of  England. 
We  hear  nothing  of  the  Navy's  doings  here.  I 
am  enclosing  a  piece  of  aeroplane  wing  for  A.,  and 
if  anyone  else  would  like  a  portion  as  a  memento, 
would  she  cut  a  bit  off  ?  It  was  a  German  plane 
brought  down  by  our  guns  not  a  hundred  miles 
from  somewhere  in  France. 


CHAPTER  XIII 

LEAVE 

October  2yd,  191 5. 

I  HAVE  some  good  news  for  you  and  for  me  too, 
that  is,  if  leave  is  not  stopped  before  next  week, 
I  am  one  of  the  next  to  go,  so  look  out  for  me 
some  time  on  Friday,  30th,  but  don't  build  too 
much  upon  it,  as  we  never  know  when  attacks  from 
one  side  or  the  other  may  not  come  on  and  stop 
all  leave.  Won't  it  be  gorgeous  if  I  do  come  !  !  ! 
I  shall  want  a  complete  set  of  "  civvy  "  clothes, 
as  these  are  not  fit  to  be  seen,  and  I  want  to  get 
free  and  out  of  uniform  for  a  day  or  two  to  be  a 
gentleman  once  again  !  !  I  hardly  dare  think  of 
it,  and  shall  not  consider  it  safely  accomplished 
until  I  set  foot  on  English  soil.  .  .  . 

The  powers  that  be  were  pleased  with  our 
work,  and  a  few  of  our  names  were  sent  forward 
for  mention.  Bombardier  U.  and  Driver  N. 
we  think  will  get  D.C.M.'s,  having  been  recom- 
mended for  them.  Bombardier  D.  received  a 
card  of  notice  of  services  from  the  General — 
which  probably  means  mention  in  despatches 
for  him — on  behalf  of  himself,  three  gunners  and 
myself  for  "  excellence  of  work."     I  fancy,  from 

>S9 


i6o  LEAVE 

what  Captain  said  to  me,  that  this  leave 

is  due  to  that  somewhat.  But  none  of  us  really 
did  anything,  only  the  usual  wire-laying  and 
repairing  and  helping  to  dig  out  a  man  or  two* 
and  keep  infantry  communications  going  on  our 
wires,  things  that  are  just  part  of  the  ordinary 
day's  work  and  nothing  more  than  hundreds 
are  doing  daily. 

Last  night  we  were  expecting  a  heavy  attack 
from  the  Germans,  as  they  have  been  blowing 
our  front  line  trenches  about — and  we  rebuilding 
them — for  days,  and  also  to  crown  all  they  cut  lanes 
in  their  own  barbed  wire  the  night  before,  ready 
to  charge  through.  But  we  have  been  hitting 
them  sick  with  shell  fire  since  then,  just  to  damp 
their  ardour,  and  cheer  up  the  four  extra  divi- 
sions which  (from  aircraft  observations  and  other 
sources  we  have  learned)  they  have  brought 
up  against  us  on  this  front.  I  am  off  duty  all 
day  to-day,  so  have  time  to  finish  this,  but  go  on 
to-night  (8  p.m.)  at  the  battery  forward  observing 
station,  then  the  trenches  for  four  days ;  but  if 
all's  well  I  shan't  do  the  four  days — ^hope  to  be 
home  on  the  fourth  ! 

October,  191 5. 
I  and  another  man  walked  two  miles  through 
trenches  to  the  rear,  where  we  had  an  A.S.C. 

•  The  writer  omiti  to  mention  that  thi»  was  done  in  the  open  under  fire; 
one  man  was  dead,  the  other  unconsciouB  but  revircd. — Ed. 


ACUTE  SUSPENSE  i6i 

wagon  which  took  us  four  miles,  and  where  others 
joined  from  different  battalions,  and  we  marched 
the  rest  of  ten  miles  to  Louvencourt  through 
rain  and  mud,  where  there  was  a  train  waiting 

which  took  us  in  cattle  trucks  some  miles  to , 

where  we  got  refreshment. 

En  route  to  the  coast  during  one  halt  occurred 
one  of  those  incidents  which  made  one's  heart 
stand  still  (or  fall  into  one's  boots  !)  An  officer 
appeared  with  a  sheet  of  paper  in  his  hands  and 
said  a  certain  number  of  us  must  have  our  leave 
cancelled  !  He  would  read  out  the  names.  (In- 
tense suspense,  followed  by  relief  or  disappoint- 
ment as  intense.)  There  were  eight  names  read 
out.  Mine  was  not  one.  The  men  took  it 
magnificently.  No  word  of  complaint  was  uttered. 
They  just  went  back. 

Then  a  rapide  about  fifteen  miles  an  hour 
in  more  cattle  trucks  which  took  us  to  B.  or  a 
little  port  near  by.  There  we  were  turned  out 
2,000  strong  and  had  to  form  up  on  the  side  of  the 
road  and  wait  (standing  in  fours)  for  four  hours. 
At  last  we  were  allowed  to  go  on  board  the  boat, 
but  in  five  minutes  came  the  order,  "  Every  man 
off  the  boat."  (Again  we  thought  our  precious 
leave  was  stopped  !)  We  were,  however,  marched 
to  a  camp  four  miles  outside  B.,  where  we  were 
told  we  could  sleep  in  boarded  huts.  It  was  then 
about  midnight  and  we  were  fairly  lucky,  having 


1 62  LEAVE 

a  blanket  each  served  out.  We  dropped  down 
to  sleep  ten  in  a  shed,  when  an  officer  came  round 
and  said  "  Reveille  "  would  be  at  4.30,  but  one 
man  in  each  shed  was  to  volunteer  as  cook  for 
the  rest  and  get  up  at  3.30.  At  4.30  we  were  up 
and  given  bread  and  cheese,  no  tea  or  any  hot 
drink.  We  had  looked  forward  to  a  cup  of  tea 
before  starting.  Then  all  marched  back  to  the 
wharf,  where  we  were  again  kept  standing  four 
hours  before  embarking.  At  last  the  order  came 
to  go  on  board,  where  we  were  packed  together 
like  herrings  in  a  barrel,  filling  every  niche,  even 
the  steps  of  the  companion  ways,  etc.  We  were, 
of  course,  only  allowed  on  the  lower  deck,  while 
the  eight  officers  or  so  had  the  upper  to  themselves. 
The  Prince  of  Wales  came  over  on  that  boat, 
probably  the  cause  of  the  second  delay,  some 
thought,  as  they  might  have  to  wait  till  he  was 
on  board  before  allowing  the  men  on.  The  first 
delay  might  have  been  due  to  a  floating  mine, 
making  it  unsafe  to  go  by  night.  Once  on  board 
we  could  at  last  feel  sure  of  our  leave,  and  we 
landed  at  F.  about  midday.  Six  short  days  of 
bliss  !     Hooray  ! 

December  Sth,  191 5. 

For  the  last  few  days  I  have  been  going  to  try 
and  describe  the  trenches,  into  which,  thank 
goodness,  we  three  are  not  due  to  go  again  till 


AFTER  THREE  WEEKS'   RAIN  163 

Tuesday,  14th;  but  each  time  I  have  realized 
the  hopelessness  of  explaining  it,  approaching, 
as  it  does,  the  incredible. 

To  start  with,  most  of  the  dug-outs  are  long 
since  silted  up,  some  of  the  deep  ones  having 
eight  to  ten  feet  of  treacly  mud  in  them.  Both 
sides  of  every  trench  have  just  slid  in  towards 
one  another  after  two  weeks'  rain,  a  week's  hard 
frost,  and  then  three  weeks'  rain  again ;  re- 
vetting and  sandbagging  all  bulges  and  gives 
way  hke  ordinary  earth  in  this  sHmy  clay,  and 
the  trenches  are  simply  drains  for  the  surround- 
ing country.  In  no  place  on  our  sector  is  the 
trench  bottom  feelable  until  you  are  over  your 
knees  in  thin  gruelly  mud,  and  in  some  of  the 
approaches  to  the  fire  trench  the  gruel  is  six  feet 
deep,  with  a  foot  or  so  below  that  of  binding 
glue,  which  means  certain  death  if  your  feet 
are  caught  in  it.  The  fire  or  front  line  trench 
is  thigh  deep  in  gruel,  being  higher  ground  than 
the  communication  trenches  that  lead  to  it. 
Where  the  most  clinging  and  deepest  parts 
occur,  men  simply  scramble  out  on  to  the  top 
when  moving  from  trench  to  trench.  Rations  and 
water  can  only  be  got  to  the  infantry  in  the  fire 
and  reserve  trenches  once  in  two  days,  and  all 
that  has  to  be  carried  over  the  land  at  night, 
"  freezing"  or  dropping  flat  when  the  star  lights 
and  flares  go  up.     Five  times  in  the  last  four 


i64  LEAVE 

days  has  our  infantry  wire  broken  ;  most  of  it 
is  buried  under  mud  in  the  trench,  and  the 
weight  of  trench  props  and  revetting  hurdles — 
which  are  such  a  danger  to  catch  and  trip  the 
feet  under  the  mud — has  kept  on  breaking  the 
wires,  so  yesterday  an  altogether  new  line  was 
laid  straight  to  the  fire  trench  along  the  top  or 
surface  of  the  ground. 

The  funny  point  is  that  in  front  of Wood, 

where  the are  in  the  front  line  trenches,  they 

are  moderately  clean  and  dry,  being  on  higher 
ground,  whereas  our  sector  from  them  to  where 
we  touch  4th  Division  is  low  lying.  Our  three 
signallers  at  present  in  the  trenches  with  the 
infantry  are  going  to  try  and  get  out  (two  of 
them)  to-night  to  fetch  their  rations  and  water. 

Yesterday,  the  right  section  lieutenant  of 
our  battery  tried  to  go  in  to  our  trench  observing 
station  and  got  stuck,  mud  up  to  his  thighs  and 
feet  immovable,  as  the  suction  of  this  clay  is 
tremendous.  Two  men  spent  an  hour  digging 
him  free,  regardless,  he  humorously  remarks,  of 
his  feet,  and  finally  they  were  able  to  get  their 
shovels  underneath  each  of  his  feet,  and  for  about 
five  minutes  rocked  him  to  and  fro  and  finally 
levered  him  out.  Five  men  were  smothered  a 
week  ago,  four  killed  outright,  and  as  to  the 
fifth,  it  is  doubtful  whether  his  recovery  will  be 
complete  ;    that  was  a  dug-out  giving  way  on 


A  DANGEROUS  QUAGMIRE  165 

the  top  of  them.  All  the  sumps  are  filled  and 
overflowing,  although  ten  to  twelve  feet  deep  and 
always  being  pumped  out ;  but  you  can  only 
pump  out  on  to  the  land,  and  the  water  perco- 
lates through  again.     One  of  the  in  front 

of  us  here  got  in  mud  up  to  his  mouth,  but  was 
able  to  wedge  his  rifle  in  the  fallen  revetting  and 
hold  himself  up,  and  it  was  hours  before  they 
could  dig  him  free.  Similar  cases  occur  daily 
all  along  the  line.  Out  on  the  top  here  in  the 
gun  position  we  are  half-way  up  our  shins  in 
mud,  and  it  is  difficult  to  keep  the  dug-outs  and 
gun  pits  free  of  water  and  mud.  The  gunners, 
who,  of  course,  never  leave  the  position,  cannot 
imagine  the  state  of  the  trenches  in  front,  never 
having  to  go  into  them  as  the  signallers  do,  until 
they  see  the  regiments  coming  out  by  platoons 
when  being  relieved,  and  they  wonder  how  we  get 
so  caked.  My  overcoat,  from  the  back  waist- 
band to  the  hem,  is  a  heavy  mud  plaster ;  no 
cloth  is  visible,  nor  is  any  visible  from  cuff  to 
shoulder  on  the  outside.  We  simply  can't 
bother  to  get  dry  ;  it  is  impossible,  in  fact,  and 
the  only  joy  is  that  being  so  hardened  it  doesn't 
hurt  us  in  the  least.  Since  I  have  been  the  last 
twenty-four  hours  in  this  dry  battery  dug-out  I 
have  got  dry,  except  just  round  the  knees  and 
ankles,  which  seem  to  take  longest  to  dry. 

The  German  trenches  must  be  similar,  and. 


i66  LEAVE 

from  their  shouted  remarks  occasionally,  they 
are  fed  up  to  the  eyes.  Yesterday  two  of  them 
were  so  much  so  that  they  came  and  stood  out 
on  their  own  parapet  unarmed  and  with  folded 
arms,  inviting  a  shot;  but  our  fellows  wouldn't 
lire  at  them,  guessing  how  the  poor  beggars  felt. 
"  What  shall  we  do  about  them  ? "  said  one  of 

the  privates  to  an  officer  of  the .     "  Let  the 

poor  devils  alone,"  was  his  reply,  and  after  about 
ten  minutes  they  dropped  down  into  their  own 
trench  again.  But  I  cannot  say  we  have  been 
merciful  to  them  in  bulk ;  we  have  pounded 
their  trenches  and  the  villages  and  woods  of 
G.,  P.,  and  S.  day  and  night  for  days  and  mashed 
up  their  trenches  pretty  well  as  badly  as  the  rain. 
We  smash  their  barbed  wire  about  every  three 
days  ;  our  battery  has  done  a  lot  of  that  lately, 
and  the  day  before  yesterday  half  an  hour's  fire 
from  one  section  (two  guns)  blew  a  lane  ten  yards 
wide  clean  through  their  wire  defences,  which 
at  that  point  have  a  depth  of  thirty  to  forty 
yards.  This  gives  them  the  idea  that  we  are 
going  to  attack ;  so  they  crowd  up  their  supports, 
and,  of  course,  give  us  a  hot  time;  but  then  we  fire 
again  on  the  heavily  manned  trenches,  and  when 
their  working  parties  come  out  to  repair  the  wire 
at  night  we  fire  on  them.  We  allow  them  to  start 
and  go  on  for  perhaps  an  hour,  and  our  sentries 
and  listening  posts,  in  front  of  our  barbed  wire, 


COMMUNICATION  TRENCHES  UNUSABLE     167 

report  to  the  artillery,  and  we  give  them  a  salvo 
which  disperses  the  lot ;  in  half  an  hour  they 
think  it  safe  again,  and  as  soon  as  they  are  out 
we  fire  again,  and  so  on  all  night,  keeping  them 
on  pins.  We  give  them  no  rest  all  along  the 
line,  and  their  daily  toll  of  casualties  must  be 
enormous. 


In  the  trenches  for  four  days. 

December,  i^th,  191 5. 

My  little  trio  is  again  in  the  fire  trench  for 
its  four  days,  and  a  rare  old  time  we  have  been 
having  in  this  deep,  dark,  dank  dug-out.  After 
these  weeks  of  rain  alternating  with  hard  frosts 
the  state  of  what  is  left  of  the  trenches  is  in- 
describable. We  have  all  given  up  using  com- 
munication trenches  to  get  over  the  crest  a  mile 
away,  and  all  walk  in  and  out  of  the  fire  and 
reserve  trenches  over  the  land  after  dark,  falling 
into  shell  holes  and  tripping  up  over  smashed 
barbed  wire  and  half-filled-in  and  disused  trenches 
and  frequently  bodies  and  impedimenta,  and 
mounds  of  earth  that  half  conceal  bodies,  all  of 
which  marks  the  battlefield  of  H.,  which  the 
French  lost  so  heavily  in  taking,  about  two 
months  before  we  came  here.  Starhghts  keep 
on  going  up,  and  we  have  to  "  freeze"  until  the 
few  seconds  of  brilliance  are  over.    The  "  type- 


i68  LEAVE 

writers'*  and  German  trench  sentries*  shots  you 
have  to  risk ;  they  are  intermittent  all  through 
the  night,  and  generally  catch  a  few  of  the  infantry 
ration  parties  coming  in  overland.  One  beast 
of  a  "  typewriter  "  (machine  gun)  is  laid  on  the 
parapet  of  our  dug-out,  and  he  "tanks"  away 
all  night ;  I  fancy  he  can  see  with  glasses  in  the 
day  that  a  sort  of  scramble  path  exists  up  out  of 
the  trench  and  over  the  top  of  the  dug-out,  and 
hopes  to  catch  someone  using  it.  Where  our 
dug-out  emerges  from  below  on  to  the  trench 
bottom  we  have  a  dam  either  side.  One  side 
is  two  and  a  half  feet  of  water  and  another  of 
mud,  now  all  frozen,  but  not  hard  enough  to 
bear  ;  and  the  other  is  about  a  foot  deep.  But 
for  these  dams  the  water  and  mud  would  just 
flow  down  the  steps  and  fill  up  the  dug-out.  As 
it  is,  a  constant  trickle  comes  down  and  we  have 
a  huge  sump  at  the  bottom,  which  has  to  be 
laboriously  baled  ;  I  say  laboriously,  because 
we  cannot  stand  upright  in  the  dug-out,  and  when 
going  up  the  stairs  we  have  to  bend  double,  as 
the  roof  follows  the  stairs  at  a  height  of  about 
three  and  half  feet.  Now  the  wretched  stairs 
are  beginning  to  fall  in,  which  means  constant 
digging  to  keep  ourselves  from  being  buried 
"  all  alive." 

You  will  have  seen  from  my  last  letter  how 
the    communication    and    other    trenches    are ; 


A  SLIPPERY  WALK  169 

well,  they  are  worse  now  and  simply  don't  exist 
in  places  for  yards.  This  slippery  clay  slides 
on  itself  and  carries  the  strongest  engineering 
works  bodily  with  it  ;  revetting,  sandbagging, 
posts  and  dug-outs  all  slide  in  towards  one  another 
from  both  sides  of  the  trench,  which,  in  places, 
is  six  to  eight  feet  deep  in  sticky  slime  ;  in  no 
place  from  here  back  to  H.  (which  is  a  mile  across 
country  and  two  through  the  communication 
trenches)  is  the  mud  or  water  less  than  knee 
deep.  Coming  in,  as  we  did  on  Monday,  by  day, 
we  had  to  use  them,  clambering  out  over  the  top 
for  the  deep  bits,  lying  flat  when  spotted  and  the 
shots  began  to  sweep  over  ;  but  there  are  so  many 
folds  in  the  ground,  shell  holes  and  disused  bits 
of  trench,  that  we  were  always  able  to  get  cover, 
except  when  hopping  over  the  parapet  and  back, 
or  crawling  along  the  ground.  To  do  this  with 
your  bed  on  your  back,  and  with  haversack, 
water-bottle  all  full,  smoke-helmets,  revolver, 
and  nose-bag  filled  with  two  days'  rations,  takes 
such  strength  and  agility  as  has  made  me  bless 
my  gymnasium  days  many  a  time.  You  slip, 
slither,  and  fall  and  trip  over  old  unseen  trip- 
wires in  the  grass  that  anyone  who  hadn't 
learned  how  to  fall  would  break  limbs  and  strain 
muscles  all  day  long  !  Meanwhile  the  three 
who  were  already  in  the  trenches  were  waiting 
patiently  to  be  relieved.    We  were  two  and  three- 


I70  LEAVE 

quarters  of  an  hour  getting  in !  One  of  my  little 
squad  got  stuck  once  ;  the  mud  was  well  up 
his  thighs  and  very  sticky.  F.  and  I  were  a  yard 
or  two  in  front,  panting  hard  after  our  exertions 
in  getting  through  a  bad  bit  and  glad  to  stand 
in  water  for  a  change  to  get  less  resistance.  We 
called  him  all  sorts  of  names  as  soon  as  breath 
would  allow,  but  all  to  no  purpose.  He  struggled 
and  wrenched,  and  we  went  back  and  tugged  at 
him  and  got  our  arms  up  to  the  shoulder  in  mud 
in  getting  a  grip  of  his  knees ;  but  he  was 
exhausted,  and  after  great  struggles  to  get  our- 
selves out  we  got  a  spade  or  two,  and  with  the 
help  of  two  infantrymen  in  a  working  party 
round  the  next  traverse  we  laboriously  dug  him 
out,  the  job  taking  three-quarters  of  an  hour; 
so  you  can  imagine  our  state  on  getting  here. 
For  two  days,  luckily,  no  trench  observing  had 
to  be  done,  and  we  stayed  down  here  just  with 
the  telegraph  duty  and  lived  in  our  blankets  and 
shirts,  except  each  night  I  dodged  out  overland 
for  the  rations.  We  are  nice  and  dry  again  now — 
had  been  all  of  us  wet  to  the  waist,  and  have 
nearly  scraped  all  the  mud  off. 

The  infantry  in  the  front  and  reserve  trenches 
were  relieved  last  night  without  a  casualty, 
although  the  in  and  out  going  parties  came  over- 
land, no  party  more  than  twenty  men  at  a  time, 
then  200  yards  space;   so  you  can  tell  what  a 


STUCK  IN  THE  MUD  171 

time  it  took  for  the  whole  battalion  to  report 
"  all  units  relieved,"  and  their  signallers,  re- 
placed by  the  incoming  battalion's  signallers, 
departed  last.  The  fire  trench  is  itself  not  so  bad 
for  mud  and  water,  as  it  is  on  a  foot  or  two 
higher  ground,  but  so  many  dug-outs  are  filled 
in  or  collapsed  that  accommodation  is  very 
crowded.  Luckily  we,  as  artillery,  have  our 
own  little  dug-out,  and  as  no  one  but  signallers 
is  allowed  in  a  signal  station — to  overhear 
messages — we  have  had  no  extra  men  put  in 
here.  The  whole  business  is  so  inexpressibly 
funny,  everyone  wallowing  in  mud  and  no  one 
bothers  about  it,  as  it  is  one  of  the  necessary 
conditions  we  are  all  used  to.  You  hear  now 
and  then  of  men  being  stuck — all  right !  dodge 
along  with  a  spade  and  help  dig  him  out ;  he 
grins  and  probably  says,  "  Rum  blanky  war 
this  !  "  or  "  I'd  like  to  plant  some  of  them  blanky 
slackers  in  this  'ere,"  as  I  heard  a  man  say 
yesterday  !  These  infantry  go  through  night- 
mares of  misery  and  discomfort,  and  yet  they 
always  have  a  cheerful  and  humorous  way  of 
taking  it  all.  I  passed  one  the  other  day  with  one 
muddy  stockinged  foot  on  a  piece  of  board,  the 
other  booted  foot  firmly  embedded  in  a  foot  of 
gluey  clay,  patiently  digging  out  his  other  boot 
which  had  burst  the  lace  and  stuck  in  the  mud 
as  he  wrenched  at  it.     All  he  said  was,  "  Bad 

M 


172  LEAVE 

weather  for  June,  this,  choom,  ain't  it  ?  "     I 
fairly  howled  at  him,  he  looked  so  funny. 

Talking  of  funny  sights,  we  have  at  last  had 
woolly  coats  issued,  sheer  hearthrugs  cut  into 
large  tunics,  and  they  smell  like  hearthrugs. 
Mine  is  a  sort  of  whitey  grey  ;  few  of  the  signal- 
lers have  got  them  dark  enough  to  wear  on  wire- 
laying  or  observing  jobs,  but  they  are  "bon" 
for  telegraph  and  telephone  work  or  sleeping,  etc. 
Truly,  we  are  the  best  equipped  army. 

Someone  was  asking  me  if  there  was  going 
to  be  a  sort  of  Christmas  truce.  I  am  glad  to 
say  there  is  not ;  strict  orders  have  been  issued 
that  there  is  to  be  no  such  waste  of  kindness 
towards  the  enemy  that  has  caused  us  so  many 
losses  and  used  the  foulest  of  means  of  securing 
those  losses.  Also,  if  we  are  spending  five 
million  pounds  a  day  on  the  war  and  every  day 
makes  it  harder  for  the  Germans,  why  waste 
five  millions  and  slacken  the  awful  "tanking" 
they  are  getting  ?  We  want  to  make  them  fed 
up,  not  to  give  them  opportunities  of  feeding 
up,  and  if  they  send  a  shell  or  two  over  into  our 
infantry  trenches  on  Christmas  Day,  as  they  most 
certainly  will  (probably  two  or  three  hundred 
will  come  over,  or  at  the  batteries,  and  observing 
station  and  villages  we  occupy),  I  beHeve  we  are 
to  respond  with  a  searching  and  unceasing  bom- 
bardment of  their  trenches,  first  line  and  reserves 


SIX  GAS  ATTACKS  173 

of  E.,  P.  and  S.  woods  and  villages  that  will 
break  up  their  Christmas  parties. 

On  reading  this  through  I  find  there  is  more 
of  mud  than  Christmas  in  this  letter!  .  .  . 

February  2nd,  1916. 

.  .  .  We  have  been  busy  lately,  having  had 
six  gas  attacks  launched  against  us  in  four  days 
on  the  ten  mile  front  facing  us,  and  have  our- 
selves made  two  big  attacks,  besides  keeping  up 
a  more  or  less  constant  bombardment  of  the 
enemy  lines  and  fortifications.  Don't  think, 
when  you  hear  of  them  or  us  attacking,  that 
it  necessarily  means  an  advance.  Generally  it 
means  one  or  two  regiments  from  our  side,  after 
terrific  artillery  support,  rush  forward  and 
bomb  the  Germans  out  of  their  front  line  trench, 
then  retire  again  to  their  own  or  under  the  fire 
dig  an  advanced  trench  nearer  the  German  one, 
as  their  front  line  trench  is  rarely  worth  occupy- 
ing, being  covered  by  their  second,  third  and  fifth 
line  trenches  and  the  range  of  it  known  to  the 
yard  by  their  guns.  When  I  tell  you  that  it 
takes  two  battalions  to  do  this  trick  on  a  short 
front  of,  say,  half  a  mile,  you  can  tell  how  many 
it  is  likely  to  require  on  the  whole  front  and  to 
continue  and  carry  on  their  last  lines  three  or 
four  miles  in  their  rear.  We — the  guns — smash 
away  their  wire  first  and  shell  their  second  line 


174  LEAVE 

and  communication  trenches  to  prevent  reserves 
coming  up ;  then  men  with  wire  cutters  and 
bombs  advance  under  cover  of  the  dark  or  fog 
and  cut  away  the  remaining  bits  of  wire  in  the 
lanes  the  guns  have  cut,  a  telephone  line  is  run 
out  with  the  attacking  infantry,  and  the  operator 
crouches  just  behind  the  German  parapet  and 
reports  results  as  ordered  ;  then  the  whole  party 
returns,  reeling  in  their  telephone  wire  and 
bringing  in  any  wounded,  and  get  back  again  to 
their  own  trench,  after  hurling  bombs  into  all 
the  German  dug-outs  and  bombing  their  way  all 
the  trench  till  all  opposition  is  gone.  Then, 
of  course,  our  guns  shorten  range  again  and 
catch  the  German  reserves  as  they  pour  into 
their  front  trench,  and  also  we  fire  afterwards 
on  all  the  nightly  working  parties  who  mend  the 
wire  and  rebuild  the  trenches.  When  we  have 
got  three  battalions  in  reserve  behind  every 
battalion  in  the  front  trench,  then  we  shall  be 
able  to  advance  right  forward.  But  it  takes 
some  hours  to  smash  up  their  barbed  wire, 
hidden  often  by  folds  in  the  ground,  by  hedges, 
farms,  and  trees,  and  to  batter  in  sandbag  forts 
and  deep  dug-outs  and  destroy  whole  woods  so 
that  the  hidden  machine  guns  therein  may  be 
swept  away.  They  try  the  same  on  us,  but  on  this 
immediate  front  they  have  got  no  further  than 
the  top  of  their  own  parapet  or  perhaps  a  few 


HALF-HEARTED  DERBYITES  175 

yards  through  the  lanes  in  their  own  wire  defences. 
The  gas  actions  are  very  trying,  as  the  helmets 
are  so  stuffy  to  move  about  in  ;  we  had  a  whiff 
of  it  the  other  day  that  had  come  from  twenty 
miles  down  the  line  beyond  where  C.  was.  The 
whole  of  this  part  from  us  and  twenty  miles  each 
way  has  been  in  constant  fighting  day  and 
night  for  days  of  the  type  I  have  mentioned. 
We  shall  have  to  have  more  men.  Meanwhile, 
Germans  are  maturing  from  childhood  to  man- 
hood at  the  rate  of  two  million  a  year,  and  they 
are  in  fighting  men  still  two  to  one  against  us. 
But  if  the  men  at  home  would  only  realize  this, 
and  realize  one  more  fact  also,  they  would  enlist 
by  the  million  ;  the  other  fact  is  that  man  for  man 
we  can  beat  them  every  time  and  generally  put 
up  with  odds  against  us.  I  have  seen  one  mono- 
plane of  ours  attack  and  drive  off  four  Aviatik 
biplanes  armed  with  a  heavier  gun  than  the 
monoplane.  I  have  seen  a  party  of  100  of  our 
infantry  bomb  their  way  into  and  back  from  an 
enemy  trench  on  a  front  of  about  a  quarter  of  a 
mile,  and  get  back  again  with  only  three  wounded, 
and  not  leave  a  fit  German  in  the  trench  they  have 
temporarily  taken.  Now,  to  turn  to  a  more 
cheerful  side.  The  Germans  put  on  a  sheet  of 
board  on  their  barbed  wire,  "  Gott  mit  uns," 
which  our  men,  of  course,  read  through  glasses 
next  day.     So  that  night  they  crawled  up  to  the 


176  LEAVE 

board  and  turned  it  round  to  face  the  Germans' 
lines,  writing  underneath, "  Don' t  swank !  We've 
got  mittens  too  !  ! " 

This  division  has  this  week,  for  all  this  extra 
fighting,  laid  300  miles  of  duplicate  telephone 
wires,  twelve  of  which  has  been  laid  by  this 
brigade  of  artillery  and  over  four  by  our  battery, 
all  connecting  up  in  duplicate  and  by  devious 
routes  all  our  different  stations.  On  the  night 
of  our  biggest  fight,  January  29th  and  30th,  we 
had  five  duplicate  wires  to  the  forward  observing 
station.  Four  were  broken  by  shells  and  bullets, 
two  of  them  in  so  many  places  as  not  to  be  worth 
while  repairing,  gaps  of  forty  to  fifty  yards  being 
blown  away;  so  you  can  tell  that  "we  signallers" 
are  busy  when  a  shunt  is  on.  Only  four  of  the 
original  signallers  on  the  original  battery  staff 
as  organized  in  England  are  left  now  ...  all  the 
others  are  casualtied,  or  sick,  or  returned  to 
England  sick,  and  we  have  had  to  train  gunners 
as  we  went  along  for  some  months  past. 

All  the  men  who  are  getting  commissions  are 
fighting  shy  of  this  four  year  business,  as  for  all 
they  know,  under  the  new  Acts  they  may  find 
themselves  embodied  as  a  Regular  force  for  that 
period.  So  we  stick  to  our  original  contract, 
"  For  the  period  of  the  war,"  and  may  it  be 
short  and  the  victory  absolutely  complete,  with 
no   bungling  lawyers   to   stultify   the  sacrifices 


THE  GREAT  PUSH  177 

made  by  the  Army,  and  to  render  indecisive  all 
its  victories,  as  in  old  times. 

No  more  now.  H  things  quiet  down  a  bit 
I  shall  be  able  to  get  some  arrears  of  letters  off, 
but  we  all  hope  there  will  be  no  quieting  down, 
but  an  ever-increasing  pressure  until  the  great 
push  comes  off.  To  "  The  Day  !  ! "  Hope  to 
see  you  all  in  the  summer ;  there  is  never  any 
harm  in  hoping  !  .  .  . 


178  TO  ALL  BETWEEN  18  AND  35 

Belgium^  May  ist,  191 5 

TO  ALL  BETWEEN  THE  AGES  OF 
18  AND  35. 

In    Flanders,   where   our   forbears   strove   and 

wrought 
Such  deeds  of  derring  do,  and  deathless  daring, 
Assisted — so  runs  history's  report — 
By  much  hard  swearing, 

There  stands  to-day  our  Army,  face  to  face 
With  Teuton  foes  (who  needs  must  drag  the 

Turk  in  !), 
A  line  of  Britons,  khaki  clad,  in  place 
Of  leather  jerkin  ! 

They  stand,  though  swept  by  Mannlicher  and 

Krupp, 
Spied  on  by  ZeppeHn,  Parseval  and  Taube, 
Waiting — with  hope — for  something  to  turn  up, 
Like  old  Micawber  ! 

Waiting  for  you  to  turn  up.  Slackers  ;    buoyed 
Up  with  the  hope  your  help  won^necd demanding. 
Don't  let  them  think,  in  England's  need,  you're 
void 

Of  understanding. 


TO  ALL  BETWEEN  i8  AND  35  179 

Nine  months  you've  held  aloof,  secured  by  others 
From  any  share  in  hardship  or  privation ; 
Nine  months  you've  watched  the  crushing  of  our 
brothers — 

A  little  nation. 

A  murdered  peasant's  cry  you  heeded  not. 
To  be  an  arm-chair  critic  made  you  bigger. 
You  drowned  a  dying  woman's  gasp — with  what  ? 
A  flapper's  snigger  ! 

Vain  will  excuse  be  when  the  tale  is  told 
Of  those  who  did  not  fear  to  tread  the  valley, 
That  they  might  keep  our  country  safe,  and  hold 
The  road  to  Calais. 

Come  and  join  us,  whose  voice  rings  through 

this  verse, 
No  more  boiled  shirts,  or  tangos,  or  mazurkas  ! 
Lest  names  Hke  these  cleave  to  you  with  our 

curse  : 

"  7hc  Craven  Shirkers:' 


i8o  "LEAD  0'  THE  GUN" 

"  LEAD  0'  THE  GUN" 

Sounding  alarm,  scuifle  and  skurry, 

Out  with  the  guns — out  in  a  hurry  ! 

Two  leagues  away  guns  are  required 

Covering  flanks,  someone's  retired. 

Orders  rapped  out,  coolly  yet  tartly. 

Get  a  move  on  !   harness  up  smartly  ! 

Hook  in  the  teams,  wait  for  the  shout, 

"  Advance  from  the  right  in  column  of  route." 

Bucking  and  jibbing,  rattle  and  jingle. 

Snorting  with  fright,  team-horse  and  single. 

"Centres"  and  "Wheelers"  join  in  the  fun. 

But  a  steady  old  pair  in  the  "  lead  o'  the  gun." 

Plodding  old,  nodding  old,  lead  o'  the  gun. 

Jingle  and  trot,  rumble  and  grind, 
Guns  to  the  front,  wagons  behind  ; 
Slip  of  a  boy — little  but  true. 
Trained  half  a  year — fighting  for  you ! 
Light  as  a  twig,  not  twenty-one. 
But  fitted  to  drive  in  the  lead  o'  the  gun. 

Charge  at  the  dykes,  ditches  and  banks, 
Stumble  and  jolt,  close  up  the  ranks  ! 
Bracken  and  brook — keep  on  the  run — 
Gateway  and  gorse — lead  o'  the  gun  ! 
Dash  at  them,  crash  at  them,  lead  o'  the  gun  ! 


"LEAD  0'  THE  GUN"  i8i 

"  Halt  !     Action  front  !     Swing  round  the  trail, 
Limber  drive  on"  through  leaden  hail. 
Back  with  the  teams,  back  to  the  rear, 
Driver  and  horse  not  wanted  here. 
Fearless  you  wheel  back  from  the  Hun, 
You've  played  the  man,  lead  o'  the  gun  ! 
Slim  little,  trim  little,  lead  o'  the  gun. 

Soon  a  shell  bursts,  two  drivers  reel. 

Two  saddles  bare,  "  Centre  "  and  "  Wheel," 

Still,  though  the  shells  shatter  and  scream, 

"  Lead  "  drives  on  with  his  six-horse  team  ; 

He  falls  at  last,  stern  duty  done, 

Falls  with  his  pair  in  the  lead  o'  the  gun, 

Lying  there,  dying  there,  lead  o'  the  gun. 

Someone  must  go,  fighting  the  Huns, 
Somebody's  darling  drive  our  field  guns, 
Someone  must  help  to  fill  up  the  ranks. 
Scant  though  his  pay,  and  scanter  the  thanks. 
Honour  costs  naught  (save  by  whom  won). 
So  honour  the  lads  in  the  lead  o'  the  gun. 
Slogging  in,  jogging  in,  lead  o'  the  gun. 


i82  WOMEN  OF  BRITAIN 

WOMEN  OF  BRITAIN 

There  are  tear-stained  faces  in  Britain 

Of  mother  and  wife  bereft. 
There  is  many  a  lonely  maiden, 

And  many  an  orphan  left. 
But  you  women  of  Britain,  think  you 

The  heart  of  our  race  grows  cold  .? 
What  the  blood  of  the  fathers  purchased. 

The  blood  of  the  sons  must  hold. 

Round  many  a  Belgian  farmstead 

And  village  in  fair  Champagne, 
In  many  a  lonely  orchard 

Lie  closely  the  British  slain. 
But  you  women  of  Britain,  look  you. 

They  died  that  our  land  may  live, 
And  the  price  that  ensured  her  safety 

Was  never  too  much  to  give. 

Gaunt  outlines  of  straggling  branches 

Show  black  'gainst  the  dull  grey  sky ; 
Like  shrouds  o'er  the  mounds  of  heroes 

The  cold  sobbing  rain  sweeps  by. 
But  you  sorrowing  women  faint  not. 

For  yours  is  the  better  part. 
The  ministry  of  a  healing  hand. 

The  prayer  of  a  faithful  heart. 


WOMEN  OF  BRITAIN  183 

As  the  bleak  and  pitiless  winter 

Strikes  desolate  all  the  land, 
So  death's  angel  upon  your  dearest 

Is  laying  his  ruthless  hand. 
But  you  heart-broken  women,  courage  ! 

The  dawn  of  the  spring  is  nigh. 
Your  proudly-made  sacrifice  grudge  not, 

Your  country  you  serve  thereby. 

There  are  tear-stained  faces  in  Britain, 

Of  mother  and  wife  bereft. 
There  is  many  a  lonely  maiden, 

And  many  an  orphan  left. 
But  you  women  of  Britain,  think  you 

The  tale  of  our  land  is  told  ? 
What  the  blood  of  the  fathers  purchased 

The  blood  of  the  sons  shall  hold. 


GARDEN  CITY  PRESS  LIMITED,  PRINTERS,  LETCHWORTH,  ENGLAND. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  AT  LOS  ANGELES 

THE  UNIVERSITY  LIBRARY 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below 


MtRL 


NOV  9 


1965 


orm  L-n 

3m -12, '30(33X0) 


amt 


St. 


■umikA 


LO: 


^^    000 


f^ARy 


FAClUTy 


^08  383 


